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  • Please go die in a fire

    After this, I really wasn't in the mood for any other bullshit.

    But I got it anyway. Lucky me. I should've known; it is, after all, Sunday, and right at 10 or 11 everybody comes streaming in from church forgetting their preacher was preaching to them about. No, I take that back. Forgetting requires that it registered someplace in their brain at one time.

    A woman summoned me for help with our sleeper sofas. Her hubby was standing next to them. They wanted to know if the sofas came already assembled. I told them they did, except for the arms, which just slide on.

    "Go find out for sure! I don't wanna put it together!"

    Yeah, that's right, don't trust the guy who's forgotten more about the furniture department than you'll ever know. BTW, if you don't want to be bothered putting a sofa together, then why the hell are you here instead of buying your sofa from a nice, full-service furniture store who'll even deliver it to your home for you?

    I stomped off to the backroom, found a boxed sofa that was ripped open, and discovered that yes, it is pre-assembled, except for the arms.

    I went back and told the customers that. "You better be right on that, (obvious look at my nametag) Irv. I don't want to have to return it. Load it up and bring it to us at the front doors, Merv."

    That's right. The asshole deliberately screwed up my name. Plus he ordered me around like I was his personal slave. Okay Bucky, you know what happens when you do that? I find the most ripped-up, beat-up sofa we have, slam it down roughly on my flatbed, take the most circulatorius route to the front doors, bang into a couple things along the way, and if you complain about the shape it's in I give you a cock-and-bull story that it's the last one we have in stock.

    So I brought it out to their truck and we loaded it in. "What, you mean you don't come with us to bring it in the house? We're only four blocks away? What the hell kind of service is this?"



    *snap*

    Well what kind of a store do you think this is, fuckface?! You think we're going to send some underpaid, underappreciated wage slave to ride along with you in your stinky truck and wrestle your damn sofa up the stairs for you? I hope you fall through the floor as you're carrying your brand new sofa into the house, land on the cold, hard basement floor with the sofa on top of you, and nobody can hear your cries of pain and agony, and you die. You go to hell and you die.

    I am so sick of customer service, and vacation is over a month away. Halp.
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

  • #2
    I just had my vacation.

    But you do need yours. Here's hoping it comes fast.

    Oh and don't worry about the SC. I already took care of him .

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    • #3


      *offers comfort coffee and donut holes*

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Caffienated_Caramel View Post


        *offers comfort coffee and donut holes*
        *offers copious amounts of booze to wash it down with*
        "Eventually, everything that you have said becomes everything you will ever say." Eireann

        My pony dolls: http://equestriarags.tumblr.com

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        • #5
          *snap*

          Well what kind of a store do you think this is, fuckface?! You think we're going to send some underpaid, underappreciated wage slave to ride along with you in your stinky truck and wrestle your damn sofa up the stairs for you? I hope you fall through the floor as you're carrying your brand new sofa into the house, land on the cold, hard basement floor with the sofa on top of you, and nobody can hear your cries of pain and agony, and you die. You go to hell and you die.

          *snerk* So, really Irv? What was your real reply??? Sorry they were turds. Remember that vacation is getting closer and closer!
          Just to cut off any helpful suggestions: This woman was not blind, nor disabled. She was just a bitch. - Boozy

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          • #6
            Here, I'll deal with the next SC:

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
              You go to hell and you die.
              ...In precisely that order

              </MsMr. Garrison>
              Last edited by EricKei; 06-15-2009, 02:36 PM. Reason: slashing merrily along
              "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
              "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
              "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
              "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
              "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
              "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
              Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
              "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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              • #8
                Who on Earth thinks that employees would come to their houses and set their shit up?

                I know. Bottom-feeding, entitled dumbasses.
                Excuse me, good sir paladin, can you direct me to your EVIL district?

                http://www.dywhcomic.com

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Apathy View Post
                  Who on Earth thinks that employees would come to their houses and set their shit up?
                  Well, there ARE stores that offer that service...for a hefty premium. Not for free. EVER.
                  "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                  "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                  "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                  "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                  "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                  "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                  Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                  "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth EricKei View Post
                    ...In precisely that order

                    </Ms-Mr. GarrisonMister Hat>
                    Edited for clarification.
                    Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

                    "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Oh dear Lord.....VRS' customers are in Wisconsin now....

                      Great. Just when I tucked away all the shovels........

                      Here Irv, have a beer and a block of cheese while I round up the cows and the neighbors. We'll scare them out of Cheeselandialand in no time!
                      You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                      • #12
                        try doing delivery and the people want you to SERVE them the pizzas like a regular server and wait on them hand and foot???????

                        Yes that has happened once or twice
                        I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
                        -- Life Sucks Then You Die.


                        "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

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                        • #13
                          Yea, everyone knows that with each sofa purchase from a non-furniture store, you get a free wage-slave to carry it inside for you. Wait, what?

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                          • #14
                            Damn, they're real major EW's. I got something that comes for free with their couch..... and it's not for making mulch and cotton out of their old couch if ya know what I mean.
                            I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                            Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                            Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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                            • #15
                              Irv...your scaring me.

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