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ownage of frat boys(really long)

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  • ownage of frat boys(really long)

    this is my first time post and I have two jobs both are important. My first job is as a airsmith in my friends paintball shop and a job as a bouncer at the family friends bar.

    The one I'll talk about is at the bar.

    When this happened was near the end my shift, now I'm no small guy six foot one weighing 272 lbs and I lift weights. The bar I work at is kind a roadhouse where bikers and such usually stop in. everyone knows me and knows what I will do if they break the rules.

    so this customer comes in brand new never been here before and he comes in with his friend both of them college guys. Lets just call them dumb ass 1 and dumbass 2.
    My boss is the current bartender and she is awesome sauce because she also owns the bar and she can scare the shit outta me when she's mad.. they come in walk right up the bar and demand beer's. lets call her A

    da1: hey can we get some booze here.
    da2: yeah we wanna get our drink on.
    me: Hey guys I need to see your Id's please.
    da1: sure man lemme grab it.
    da2: lemme go get mine it's in the car.
    I check the first guys Id it's legit. I've seen so many Id's I can kinda tell if they're fake.
    da2 walks in
    da2: here ya go dude my Id.
    I check it, it's valid and not fake.
    me: Okay boys remeber to behave yourselves or I'm gonna have to deal with you.
    da1: okay dude just chill just chill. he told me sarcasticlly.
    k gives them their beers and they start drinking having fun with the pool tables with the other regulars having a good time and just being responsible.
    I walk by to go smoke out back for a quik sec asking for my friend to get me if anything happens.
    and here's what happens.
    da1: dude I told you those Id's would work.
    da2: totally man they worked like a charm I'm glad I believed you that that guy could get us Id's.
    I walk up right behind them.
    me: uh uhm gentle men I have to ask you to leave this establishment.
    da1: um why dude is there a problem.
    me: yeah there is i heard everything you said about your Id's now please leave by yourselves before I have to escourt you out.
    da2: no way man we paid good money and want to stay and have some fun how bout we forget about this not happening.
    he tries slipping me a fifty.
    me: sir again I have to ask you and your friend to leave.
    they get and decide to do the stupidest thing they can think of.
    da1: dude lets jst kick this guys ass he's just a fatass.
    da2: yeah man we can take you.
    da1 tries to swing at my head I duck and punch him in the gut hard as I can he goes down. da2 start's backing away acting like he just saw his death.
    da2: I need to talk to your manager you just asaulted my friend.
    me: go ahead she just saw the whole thing. I point at as she smiles and waves her hand.
    da2: Okay man just let me and my friend leave and we'll never bother you again.
    me: sorry i can't do that you just used fake Id's at my friends bar, drank underage, and your friend tried to assault me. your gonna sit your ass down and wait for the police. A please call them while I watch this guy I don't trust that he'll stay here.
    A: K shogun just don't drop this guy we need he conscious.
    so story short the police arrive we tell him what happened and they just take them away. since this is kind of a normal thing at this bar.

  • #2
    so you have a job that involves beating up idiots... where do I apply
    If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

    Comment


    • #3
      First: Welcome.
      Second: Nicely done.
      Third: Ahahahaha!
      http://www.deezer.com/#music/album/100130
      Melody Gardot

      Comment


      • #4
        to Customers Suck. There's assorted refreshments to your left, Snacks to the right and of course the brain bleach

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        • #5
          Welcome to a fellow Door man

          Drunk and idiots always a hoot and drunken idiots even better!
          We are the willing, led by the unknowing, doing the impossible, for the ungrateful, we have now done so much, for so long - for so many, with so little, we can now do anything with nothing!!!

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          • #6
            I want your job. Can you be a female bouncer?

            And Welcome! Bring more stories, cause that one was great!
            "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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            • #7


              Love the pwnage you dished out, there. Maybe next time they'll know to keep their underaged mouths shut till they get home.

              Nah, ain't never gonna happen.
              Quoth LillFilly View Post
              I want your job. Can you be a female bouncer?
              I've seen women bouncers. If you're in a rough establishment, though, you'll want to know a bit of some kind of fighting style, preferable one with a lot of "dirty" moves.

              ^-.-^
              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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              • #8
                there is 3 girl door staff on at the club i work so nothing stopping you....its a case of ability not gender
                We are the willing, led by the unknowing, doing the impossible, for the ungrateful, we have now done so much, for so long - for so many, with so little, we can now do anything with nothing!!!

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                • #9
                  um.... ok... whats with the "frat boy" part of the title ?

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                  • #10
                    the reason It says fratboys is because they were. they had id's as well from the local college.

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                    • #11
                      Oh my.. I thought the #1 rule about doing something illegal is to not talk about it in public.. let alone while youre still engaging in the activity with staff in the vicinity.
                      Thou shalt not take the name of thy goddess Whiskey in vain.

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                      • #12
                        me: go ahead she just saw the whole thing. I point at as she smiles and waves her hand.
                        Am I the only one who got this image in their head?

                        I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                        I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                        It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                        • #13
                          Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
                          Am I the only one who got this image in their head?

                          Nope, I had the same mental image.

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                          • #14
                            Welcome and I must say, awesome ownage on tweedle dee and tweedle dumbass!
                            I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                            Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                            Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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                            • #15
                              awesome; i'd apply but i somehow doubt a glare from a 5'3" woman is going to intimidate much of anyone.
                              look! it's ghengis khan!
                              Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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