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The common thread in both these stories is the items mentioned were held before being paid for. Technically this is against policy, but this was our customer service manager making the call on both of these, and apparently smooching customer ass is part of her job description. 
First--a Lane recliner. A huge-ass chair in a huge-ass box.
I waited outside with it for the customer to pull up. Could it be the person in that Suburban? Nope. Darnit. The rusty, bombed-out Olds Cutlass shuddering its way on up? Nope. How about the Ford Escort behind both of these?
The lady wanted me to take it out of the box and fit both pieces (seat and back) in her back seat. After half-heartedly wrestling the seat of the box and pretending to stuff it in the back door, I had adequately demonstrated to her that there was no way this thing was going in her back seat. She had me box it all back up again and bring it inside while she tried to locate somebody with a pick-em-up truck. She hadn't returned when I left.
Then--a glass-and-metal L-shaped computer desk. The display model of said desk since we've put it on clearance and that was all that was left of it. If this desk arrives back in on a future truck I'm going to shit.
The customer: A rather well-to-do guy. And his family. In a Lincoln Navigator. A huge-ass SUV that costs more than I make in three years or so.
We took off the glass table-tops and set them inside the Navigator. This was the guy's cue to whine about a couple small suction disks that go between the metal framing and the glass to prevent damage to the glass. Or something.
Uhh, hello? This was the display model. It has been hap-hazardly assembled, dragged around, and moved and molested several times. The suction disks probably fell off and got vacuumed up or swept away some time ago. And you paid only about a third of the regular price for this thing. You can probably get those disks at Hobby Lobby or Menards.
And then we couldn't get the rest of the desk in the vehicle. It would not have been a problem had this guy not schlepped his wife and kids around. I hate wives and kids on furniture Tetris expeditions. They eat up too much cargo capacity.
So we tried shoving it in, and having the kids guide the desk around various protuberances in the ceiling, and we couldn't get enough of it inside to close the hatchback. Fuck. I'm going to end up disassembling this damn thing in the parking lot, in the heat and humidity, while God only knows how busy it's going to be inside and people are going to be looking for me.
But finally we turned the desk around and made it fit. I went to close the hatchback and the wife barked "Don't touch that; it'll close automatically." Geez, sorry to have defiled your hubby's substitute penis, Your Majesty.
Suffice to say, these have not been a good last couple of days.
First--a Lane recliner. A huge-ass chair in a huge-ass box.
I waited outside with it for the customer to pull up. Could it be the person in that Suburban? Nope. Darnit. The rusty, bombed-out Olds Cutlass shuddering its way on up? Nope. How about the Ford Escort behind both of these?
The lady wanted me to take it out of the box and fit both pieces (seat and back) in her back seat. After half-heartedly wrestling the seat of the box and pretending to stuff it in the back door, I had adequately demonstrated to her that there was no way this thing was going in her back seat. She had me box it all back up again and bring it inside while she tried to locate somebody with a pick-em-up truck. She hadn't returned when I left.
Then--a glass-and-metal L-shaped computer desk. The display model of said desk since we've put it on clearance and that was all that was left of it. If this desk arrives back in on a future truck I'm going to shit.
The customer: A rather well-to-do guy. And his family. In a Lincoln Navigator. A huge-ass SUV that costs more than I make in three years or so.
We took off the glass table-tops and set them inside the Navigator. This was the guy's cue to whine about a couple small suction disks that go between the metal framing and the glass to prevent damage to the glass. Or something.
Uhh, hello? This was the display model. It has been hap-hazardly assembled, dragged around, and moved and molested several times. The suction disks probably fell off and got vacuumed up or swept away some time ago. And you paid only about a third of the regular price for this thing. You can probably get those disks at Hobby Lobby or Menards.
And then we couldn't get the rest of the desk in the vehicle. It would not have been a problem had this guy not schlepped his wife and kids around. I hate wives and kids on furniture Tetris expeditions. They eat up too much cargo capacity.
So we tried shoving it in, and having the kids guide the desk around various protuberances in the ceiling, and we couldn't get enough of it inside to close the hatchback. Fuck. I'm going to end up disassembling this damn thing in the parking lot, in the heat and humidity, while God only knows how busy it's going to be inside and people are going to be looking for me.
But finally we turned the desk around and made it fit. I went to close the hatchback and the wife barked "Don't touch that; it'll close automatically." Geez, sorry to have defiled your hubby's substitute penis, Your Majesty.
Suffice to say, these have not been a good last couple of days.
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