A rose, by any other name....

[WouldYouLikeToBuyAPhone?]

SC: Impossible to please
Me: Yours truly

At this stage, I was working in the billing department. As the name suggests, we deal mainly with customer calling about their phone bills. However, we also do other stuff, such as roaming (Using your phone while overseas).


Me: Welcome to <Company> You're speaking with <Me>
SC: Is this the roaming department?
Me: This is the billing department, but I can help you with roaming.

Wrong thing to say.

SC: The person who transfered me to you said they were putting me through to the roaming department! Why didn't they put me through to the roaming department?
Me: We don't actually have a department called the roaming department. The billing department handles roaming questions, and thats who you're speaking to.
SC: Why would they say they're putting me through to the roaming department if you don't have a roaming department???!!??
Me: It was just their choice of words. They have put you through to the department that can help you with roaming, so effectively, we are the roaming department.
SC: You just said your not the roaming department!
Me: This is the department that can help you with roaming. We are called billing, but I can help you with roaming. (Had enough of this) How can I help you today?
SC: I want to talk to the roaming department!
Me: Sir, you are speaking to the roaming department. How can I help you?
SC: You said your billing! Your not the roaming department! I want to talk to the roaming department!
Me: There is no roaming department. I can help you with roaming.
SC: Why would she say she was putting me through to the roaming department if there is no roaming department??
Me: Sir, it was just the words she chose. She put you through to the department that helps with roaming; myself. I can help you with roaming. How can I help you?
SC: You are not roaming, you said you are billing!!
Me: Sir, I have explained this to you. Unless you tell me what I can help you with, I will have to hang up.
SC: You'd like to hang up on me, wouldn't you???
Me: Yes. Yes indeed I would. Sir, If you tell me what your question is, I will do my best to help you.
SC: You'd like to hang up on me, wouldn't you?!? WOUDLN'T YOU??!!?
Me: I'm hanging up now.
SC: You do that!

[Calie]

Heh, at some point in that I would have just "transferred" her to the roaming department (aka, put her on hold, clear your throat, and then resume talking to her w/ an obviously fake accent).

Gah, companies don't have a department for everything! And people answering the phones are usually a little smarter than monkeys (usually, I've talked to some interesting ones...) and are usually trained to do more than answer 3 questions.

This is probably what went down:
SC: Hi, I've got a question about roaming.
Operator: Let me transfer you to someone who can help with that.
OP: Billing dept
SC: <rant-bitch-whine-argue semantics>
OP: <brain cells commit seppuku>

It makes me think that most of these "customers" don't actually want you to solve their problems, they just want someone to yell and scream at. Go find someone who cares. Assuming you have any left...

I think next time I call in for any type of CustSvc I'm gonna make up a ridiculously detailed department and then bitch and whine when I get transferred to a "different" department. Except if I even tried, I'd probably be laughing about 10sec in and apologize profusely and direct the poor person here to explain...

[spark]

What a maroon.

I second Callie's "transfer" idea!

[Sonoma]

I work for an insurance company. We routinely route requests to our Claims department if there's something that needs to be reprocessed. Claims does NOT take customer phone calls. Heck, they don't even take phone calls from us. I don't know how many times a day I have to tell people that they can talk to me about claims questions. They'll insist they need to talk to claims, and then get upset if I don't transfer them.

[mattm04]

We've done the fake transfer before at my work. I simply hit hold for a few seconds and pick up the call again and answered the department the wanted to hear.

[mariamousie1]

I agree with Callie's idea as well. May I suggest a phony French accent? I'm thinking Clouseau.

[Andara Bledin]

This is just like that other thread where the "customer" got all bent out of shape because they didn't get the "department" that could help them.

Again, I say, never tell them you're not who they want if you're the person that can actually help them. It breaks their delicate little brains, and they go straight to sucktacular.

Of course, at that point, I'd also feel free to ask them if they want their problem solved, or do they want to waste their time and their call with bitching about a problem that doesn't exist except inside their heads. It's not like they're not already going to complain.

^-.-^

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I once tried the "fake transfer" thing and did not change my voice WHATSOEVER (although I did give myself a different name) and the SC still believed she was talking to an entirely new person.

[BookstoreEscapee]

SC: You do that!

Well, he can't complain that you didn't do what he asked!

[Jester]

Ah, complainers. I find it's best to cut them off before they have a chance to bitch. At The Bar, when I introduce myself, I often say something like the following: "My name's [Jester]. If you need anything, just let me know. If you have any complaints, my name is Eugene." It almost always gets a laugh. And yes, people have called me over by "Eugene" when something is wrong, but they are always good-natured about it when they actually use that name.