Please Leave, Sir

[stephenr]

I am back with a few more tales

Please Leave, Sir
RD: Random Drunk
Me: Myself
N: Another co-worker of mine.

It is nearing 7PM on a Monday night meaning just another hour to go before the day is over and I can go home. Enter RD, this guy that had scraggly hair and a beard that looked like something was living in it and was wearing ripped clothing.

RD: You got a bathroom in here? I gotta go really bad.
N: Sorry sir, but the bathroom is for employees only.
RD: You sure you can't let me use the bathroom? I got to take a dump. I don't think I am going to make it.
N: I'm sorry but there is no bathroom for you to use.
RD: Come on, I can't hold it much longer. *looks towards me* Can you please let me back there?
Me: I really can't let you back there.
RD: I am about to crap myself. Let me back there.
Me: Its for employees only, sir.
N: Since you aren't going to buy anything. Please leave, sir.

We keep a roll of paper towels up front because at the end of the night, One of us usually cleans the glass cases. RD grabs a bunch of paper towels and leaves.

N: I will be right back to make sure he isn't crapping on the side of the building.

I am dealing with a few customers and cashing them out when N comes back in.

N: You wouldn't believe it if I told you. He was crapping behind the building. I chased him off and now you got a mess to clean up back there.
Me: Why do I have to clean it up?
N: Umm.. You talked to him last.

I spent a good 20 minutes cleaning up that guys crap. RD, if you ever come near my store again, you better keep walking.

I want the discount now.
Me
SN: Sucky Nerd
NN: Nice Nerd

My store has a sale coming up soon where the back issue comic books become 50% off. It doesn't apply to the comic books that are released during the month, though. SN comes up front with a bunch of back issues of Captain America, Green Lantern, etc.

Me: Okay, your total is $125.98.
SN: What? Shouldn't it be $62.99?
Me: The sale isn't in effect until tomorrow.
SN: That's not what the sign says?
Me: It says it right here at the bottom.
SN: Come on, give me the discount.
Me: I can't. The discount isn't even in the system yet. Even if it was, it wouldn't work right now because the sale isn't until tomorrow.
SN: Bullshit! You are a terrible employee. I want the discount now. If you can't give it to me then you shouldn't be working here.
Me: *getting a bit agitated at this point.* I can't help you and no one else can because the discount doesn't exist right now. It will be put into effect tomorrow morning at 10AM when the store opens so I suggest you come back then.
SN: No! I want it now. The sign clearly says discount on back issues.
Me: You are right but it says Discount on back issues from June 24th until July 8th.
SN: So? I better be getting that discount or you are fired.
Me: It seems we aren't getting anywhere so I am going to have to ask you, do you want the books or not? If not, please get out of line because I see a bunch of other customers getting annoyed at you right now.
SN: I want that discount.
NN: Sir, are you deaf or something because he has told you countless times there is nothing he can do about yet you insist in your way of thinking that he is lying. Please stop holding up the line.

SN left and I wound up putting the books he took back later on after the line died down.

[Mister]

About the discount, what an idiot, trying to get first choice before the sale at sales price, but that's beside the point.

A colleague tried to do the same some time ago, posting the signs the day before they go in effect. I pushed him not to because it just creates the problems you've just described. Sure there is the date on the sign and yes you are right, but why risk the confused and deranged customers? The only "loss" you get when putting up the signs on the morning of the actual date is that the very first customers doesn't see them, a small loss in exchange for avoiding a lot of annoyance.

The other way around it of course is a sign that on the first line loudly exclaims: "Starting the 24th: "

[candyshopgirl]

You know the time it took him to argue with you, he could have found a different bathroom.

[Pagan]

Me: Why do I have to clean it up?
N: Umm.. You talked to him last.

I spent a good 20 minutes cleaning up that guys crap. RD, if you ever come near my store again, you better keep walking.

My response to that? "You followed him outside!"

[EricKei]

Did they at least give you protective gear to deal with that...er...crap? o_O

[Mr Hero]

There's only one nerd I like to see flying into fits of anger and swearing. Last I heard, he doesn't read comics, just plays video games.

[finlayfox]

MMmmk, i hate to rain on your parade, but i kinda gotta put a foot in your ass(my apologies). I have Crohn's disease(as i have stated in the past), and there have been times when I have had my, "oh shit i am going to crap in my pants" moments. I have gone to a store, and they have turned my away... guess what, i shat my pants.
So rather then shitting myself, i have told the cashier or whoever that if they did not let me use the restroom i would be going behind the store because i was literally 30 seconds away from either finding a toilet or shitting my pants. They at that point have obliged me and let me use the bathroom. Which i make sure to leave in as good of condition as i entered it in.
After using their employees only lavatory, i apologize profusely and thank them. Because i do understand why the policy is in place(damn hookers and druggies)... though in all honesty they just want me to leave because they never can look me in the eye at that point.