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If you have a bunch of questions about something or other we have, FFS come into the store instead of playing 20 Questions over the phone with me. Unless you'd like to rot away on hold while I gallivant around the store to find out how much it costs, what its measurements are, how much assembly it needs, what the regular price is, etc. because you didn't think to ask me all these questions at once.
And if you do call in hoping to "save a trip", FFS don't bitch at me about being put on hold so much. I'm talking to you, the battle axe with the smoked-up voice calling in about some stupid chair.
Moving on--pay attention when driving around in the parking lot! Retrieving shopping carts should not mean cheating death because somebody whipped around the corner without looking to see if anything or anybody is in the way. Oh, Blondie, whom I observed darting through the lot right at me while blah-blah-blahing on her cell phone, you might find this helpful.
This also applies when you are on foot. Pay attention to your surroundings! It may prevent you getting hurt or being mugged or something. And this is aimed at the fat, unwashed, unshaven turd who makes Michael Moore look like Brad Pitt who waddled right in front of me, and my line of over 10 shopping carts which I was unable to stop, obviously off in La-La Land. You are very fortunate those carts did not end up shoving you right into the entrance doors.
Oh, and teenage/young adult troublemakers who have nothing better to do than sit in our parking lot at night and cause trouble? Feel free to find someplace else to lob your liquor bottles than one of the heavily-trafficked driveways into our lot. We don't want to be dealing with somebody's severe tire damage because you're piggish louts who want to avoid arrest under the open container laws.
And if you do call in hoping to "save a trip", FFS don't bitch at me about being put on hold so much. I'm talking to you, the battle axe with the smoked-up voice calling in about some stupid chair.
Moving on--pay attention when driving around in the parking lot! Retrieving shopping carts should not mean cheating death because somebody whipped around the corner without looking to see if anything or anybody is in the way. Oh, Blondie, whom I observed darting through the lot right at me while blah-blah-blahing on her cell phone, you might find this helpful.
This also applies when you are on foot. Pay attention to your surroundings! It may prevent you getting hurt or being mugged or something. And this is aimed at the fat, unwashed, unshaven turd who makes Michael Moore look like Brad Pitt who waddled right in front of me, and my line of over 10 shopping carts which I was unable to stop, obviously off in La-La Land. You are very fortunate those carts did not end up shoving you right into the entrance doors.
Oh, and teenage/young adult troublemakers who have nothing better to do than sit in our parking lot at night and cause trouble? Feel free to find someplace else to lob your liquor bottles than one of the heavily-trafficked driveways into our lot. We don't want to be dealing with somebody's severe tire damage because you're piggish louts who want to avoid arrest under the open container laws.
And hurry.
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