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More tales of woe from call centre land...
The faceless ones in the other department decide that they can't be arsed to take responsibility for their own garbage and so decide to transfer a call through to me. I'll give her credit that she atleast did a warm transfer (talking to me first before putting the call through), but it was still sucky on her part. For your amusement-
Me- The one and only
AFO- Arsey Faceless Once
BGT- Big Giant Twat
Me- <opening spiel>, may I take your reference number please?
AFO- Hi this is AFO from <other department> and I have a customer on the line that needs to talk to tech support. Can I put him through?
I hate when they do that shit. This is where I first catch on that this is no good- when they try to pass someone through without telling me why or giving me any info
Me- If I could just take the customer's reference number to see if we have spoken with him before.
AFO- It is xxxxxxxx. I think you did talk to him, can I just...
Me- *Cutting AFO off* Let me just run a quick search first, so I can better assist you. *Looks up info, it is regarding <product> that one of our specialists needs to look at, I don't know anything about <product> or procedures surrounding it* Ok, I can see that if the customer still requires our assistance, I will need to arrange for a specialist to call him back, as I don't have the info on <product>.
AFO- No, I just need to pass him through, he says he needs to speak with tech support.
Me- But do you think I will be able to assist him? I don't have the info on <product>, only our specialists do.
AFO- We spoke with you guys earlier to confirm if we should replace the product and you said that that wasn't the case, so the customer says he needs to speak with tech support.
Me- *Losing the will to go on and already fully aware of what is coming* Fine. I. wont. be. able. to. assist. the. customer. but. go. ahead. and. pass. him. through. *said totally deadpan and agitated, the verbal equivalent of the death stare*
----Call passed through----
Me- Hi, you're through to Sauletekis in tech support and I understand you have some questions about <product>
BGT- OK, now, I am sick of this shit. You guys have passed me all around the different departments. I don't want to hear any of it. You sold me a faulty <product> and I would like to you replace it right now, please.
I HATE when they say things like a total demanding EW ass munch but then throw on 'please' etc said in the most sarcastic way
Me- Ok, Mr. BGT. I can see you spoke with one of my colleagues earlier. My colleague was a specialist, and I am not a specialist myself...
BGT- *Cutting me off* NO NO NO! I told you already! I don't want any of this shit. Your colleague already confirmed my <product> was faulty and I WANT YOU TO REPLACE IT FOR ME NOW PLEASE! I KNOW MY RIGHTS! THIS IS ILLEGAL! Blah blah blah.
Me- Mr. BGT, I am just reading the notes on your account now. I can see from my colleagues notes that he did indeed confirm a fault but that he still needed to explain to you the terms and conditions of the warranty and to refer you appropriately. You have 2 options at this point. I can arrange for a specialist to call you back to discuss those things, or you can speak with <other department> to see if they are able to offer you anything else.
BGT- NO! I have been passed ALL OVER THE PLACE. You said yourself that your colleague said my <product> is faulty. What else do you need to know? I want my replacement NOW, PLEASE ...again, with the fake please. Fuck this guy.
Me- Sir, I am not a specialist, so I am unable to give this confirmation myself. As I am not a specialist, I do not know what the proper procedures are for <product>. ..
BGT- *Cutting me off again* What is so hard to understand? You sold me a bum <product> and I want YOU to put it right. No <other department>, no specialist, you do this right NOW! I have been on the phone ALL DAY trying to sort this out. So, you do this now, or you better believe your supervisiors will be hearing all about this when I complain.
Me- I am sorry to hear that you have had such a frustrating day. As I am not a specialist, I cannot verify what the procedure is. As I don't work in <other department>, I cannot organize a replacement. I would be very happy to... (repeats other two options)
BGT- So are you USELESS or what? I suppose it isn't YOU personally, but wow your company sucks, is this how you treat customers??? OK, you have that specialist call me back, but if it isn't in 30 minutes, I am GOING TO SUE YOU AND EVERYONE IN YOUR COMPANY!!!
Me- *ohhh... totally shaking in my boots, man* Sir, I will request the call back for you now, and it will be as soon as possible. I cannot guarantee a time.
BGT- What?!?!?! What does 'as soon as possible' mean???
Me- It means as soon as possible, sir.
BGT- Well, you remember, 30 MINUTES OR I SUE! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT! ARHH. Well, thank you so much for NOTHING AT ALL *click*
Ah ha. This guy totally hung up on the specialist before he talked to me, too, after he diagnosed the fault. Didn't want to listen to how to go about making things right. Trying to scam the system and getting pissed off that everyone in call centre land was following procedure tonight.
It never surprises me though... how many times does one have to say it? No means NO, asshole. Just try and break me
The faceless ones in the other department decide that they can't be arsed to take responsibility for their own garbage and so decide to transfer a call through to me. I'll give her credit that she atleast did a warm transfer (talking to me first before putting the call through), but it was still sucky on her part. For your amusement-
Me- The one and only
AFO- Arsey Faceless Once
BGT- Big Giant Twat
Me- <opening spiel>, may I take your reference number please?
AFO- Hi this is AFO from <other department> and I have a customer on the line that needs to talk to tech support. Can I put him through?
I hate when they do that shit. This is where I first catch on that this is no good- when they try to pass someone through without telling me why or giving me any info
Me- If I could just take the customer's reference number to see if we have spoken with him before.
AFO- It is xxxxxxxx. I think you did talk to him, can I just...
Me- *Cutting AFO off* Let me just run a quick search first, so I can better assist you. *Looks up info, it is regarding <product> that one of our specialists needs to look at, I don't know anything about <product> or procedures surrounding it* Ok, I can see that if the customer still requires our assistance, I will need to arrange for a specialist to call him back, as I don't have the info on <product>.
AFO- No, I just need to pass him through, he says he needs to speak with tech support.
Me- But do you think I will be able to assist him? I don't have the info on <product>, only our specialists do.
AFO- We spoke with you guys earlier to confirm if we should replace the product and you said that that wasn't the case, so the customer says he needs to speak with tech support.
Me- *Losing the will to go on and already fully aware of what is coming* Fine. I. wont. be. able. to. assist. the. customer. but. go. ahead. and. pass. him. through. *said totally deadpan and agitated, the verbal equivalent of the death stare*
----Call passed through----
Me- Hi, you're through to Sauletekis in tech support and I understand you have some questions about <product>
BGT- OK, now, I am sick of this shit. You guys have passed me all around the different departments. I don't want to hear any of it. You sold me a faulty <product> and I would like to you replace it right now, please.
I HATE when they say things like a total demanding EW ass munch but then throw on 'please' etc said in the most sarcastic way
Me- Ok, Mr. BGT. I can see you spoke with one of my colleagues earlier. My colleague was a specialist, and I am not a specialist myself...
BGT- *Cutting me off* NO NO NO! I told you already! I don't want any of this shit. Your colleague already confirmed my <product> was faulty and I WANT YOU TO REPLACE IT FOR ME NOW PLEASE! I KNOW MY RIGHTS! THIS IS ILLEGAL! Blah blah blah.
Me- Mr. BGT, I am just reading the notes on your account now. I can see from my colleagues notes that he did indeed confirm a fault but that he still needed to explain to you the terms and conditions of the warranty and to refer you appropriately. You have 2 options at this point. I can arrange for a specialist to call you back to discuss those things, or you can speak with <other department> to see if they are able to offer you anything else.
BGT- NO! I have been passed ALL OVER THE PLACE. You said yourself that your colleague said my <product> is faulty. What else do you need to know? I want my replacement NOW, PLEASE ...again, with the fake please. Fuck this guy.
Me- Sir, I am not a specialist, so I am unable to give this confirmation myself. As I am not a specialist, I do not know what the proper procedures are for <product>. ..
BGT- *Cutting me off again* What is so hard to understand? You sold me a bum <product> and I want YOU to put it right. No <other department>, no specialist, you do this right NOW! I have been on the phone ALL DAY trying to sort this out. So, you do this now, or you better believe your supervisiors will be hearing all about this when I complain.
Me- I am sorry to hear that you have had such a frustrating day. As I am not a specialist, I cannot verify what the procedure is. As I don't work in <other department>, I cannot organize a replacement. I would be very happy to... (repeats other two options)
BGT- So are you USELESS or what? I suppose it isn't YOU personally, but wow your company sucks, is this how you treat customers??? OK, you have that specialist call me back, but if it isn't in 30 minutes, I am GOING TO SUE YOU AND EVERYONE IN YOUR COMPANY!!!
Me- *ohhh... totally shaking in my boots, man* Sir, I will request the call back for you now, and it will be as soon as possible. I cannot guarantee a time.
BGT- What?!?!?! What does 'as soon as possible' mean???
Me- It means as soon as possible, sir.
BGT- Well, you remember, 30 MINUTES OR I SUE! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT! ARHH. Well, thank you so much for NOTHING AT ALL *click*
Ah ha. This guy totally hung up on the specialist before he talked to me, too, after he diagnosed the fault. Didn't want to listen to how to go about making things right. Trying to scam the system and getting pissed off that everyone in call centre land was following procedure tonight.
It never surprises me though... how many times does one have to say it? No means NO, asshole. Just try and break me
