Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How to lose friends and alienate people - and one nice one!

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • How to lose friends and alienate people - and one nice one!

    Its time for a round up list of some of my favorite customers!


    Me: Welcome to <My Company> You're speaking with <Me>
    SC: Yes, operator...


    I told you not 3 SECONDS ago what my name is. It is not operator. It is not even remotely CLOSE to operator. Kindly make the effort to retain this information for longer than a goldfish. How would you like it if I called you Sucky Customer?



    Me: Welcome to <My Company> You're speaking with <Me>
    SC: Hello Michael.

    Again, I told you my name 3 seconds ago. It is not Michael. Granted, it is marginally closer to Michael than it is to Operator, but tell me, how many girls do you know called Michael? I get called Michael ALL THE TIME, and I don't understand it. Apart from starting with a M, and being 2 syllables, my name is not remotelty close to Michael.




    Me: Welcome to <My Company> You're speaking with <Me>
    SC: I've been on waiting for 10 minutes! What are you people doing there, playing cards?

    Yes, thats exactly what we're doing. We were hoping that if we left you on hold for long enough you'd hang up and we wouldn't have to talk to you.



    SC: I'm a real good customer. I've been with <My Company> for 20 years and I spend heaps of money. What deal can you do for me?

    So many problems here. A) You are not a good customer. Good customers go about their daily business without calling to bother me. B) You have not been with <My Company> for 20 years. We haven't existed that long, and you sound like your about 15 years old. C) You do not spend heaps of money. You give us $30 a month. and D) You have called directory assistance. We don't do 'deals'.




    Me: I'm sorry for the wait, but there was a fire in our building and we had to evacuate.
    SC: I don't give a shit if you're on fire! If I want to call you, I expect someone to answer IMMEDIATELY!!

    You don't give a shit if I'm on fire. Would you give a shit if YOU were on fire? We can find out if you like.


    IN DEFENCE OF THE NICE CUSTOMERS OUT THERE

    Strange around this site, I know, but a little bit of niceness makes us all feel good


    The call centre I am in is in Tasmania, (Wee little island state down the bottom of Australia. Known for being very cold, and raining lots). LM (Lovely Man) was from Queensland, the most blessed state in our fair country. Known for being lovely and sunny all year round, and having lots of beaches.


    Me: Welcome to <My Company> You're speaking with <Me>
    LM: Hiya! How're you doing today?!
    Me: I'm great thanks! (Its so rare to actually be asked how I am, always puts a smile on my face)
    LM: Thats great! Can I have the phone number for Blah Blah?
    Me: Sure thing. Just having a look for you.
    LM: Thanks! So your in Tasmania right? Whats the weather like down there?
    Me: Cold and raining, like usual!
    LM: Oh that sucks! I'm in Queensland and its beautiful!
    Me: Man I wish I was up there.
    LM: Come on then! I'll pay for you to fly up here and we can run under the sprinkler!

    He was so lovely I nearly cried!

  • #2
    Quoth WouldYouLikeToBuyAPhone? View Post
    Me: Welcome to <My Company> You're speaking with <Me>
    SC: Hello Michael.

    Again, I told you my name 3 seconds ago. It is not Michael. Granted, it is marginally closer to Michael than it is to Operator, but tell me, how many girls do you know called Michael?
    Two


    ....seriously
    <Insert clever signature here>

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Lingering Grin View Post
      Two


      ....seriously
      One in my case. She's of Roma descent, and even though her name is spelled "Michael," it's pronounced "Me-shell."
      Drive it like it's a county car.

      Comment


      • #4
        I know one. Mostly we called her Mikey.
        The High Priest is an Illusion!

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth WouldYouLikeToBuyAPhone? View Post
          Again, I told you my name 3 seconds ago. It is not Michael. Granted, it is marginally closer to Michael than it is to Operator, but tell me, how many girls do you know called Michael?
          There's an actress named Michael Michele.

          Quoth WouldYouLikeToBuyAPhone? View Post
          The call centre I am in is in Tasmania,
          Devils!!!
          It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

          Comment


          • #6
            Not to mention Michael Learned. Also an actress.
            The Case of the Missing Mandrake; A Jude Derry, Sorceress Sleuth Mystery Available on Amazon.

            Comment


            • #7
              Went to school with a Michael. Substitute teachers would always pronounce it Michelle.
              Labor boards have info on local laws for free
              HR believes the first person in the door
              Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
              Document everything
              CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

              Comment


              • #8
                I know a Michael-Anne.
                Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I have gotten so used to people calling me by other names that I will actually answer to them now. And I also get mistaken for male, not because of my name, but because my voice is quite low for a woman.

                  Oh - and hope your enjoying the winter down there on the apple isle my dad lives just outside of Hobart and tells me the days are getting "rather brisk"
                  "When did you get a gold plated toilet?"
                  "We don't have a gold plated toilet"
                  "Oh dear, I think I just peed in your Tuba"

                  -Jasper Fforde

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I've gotten used to being called Karen -- thats basically my name with a K tacked on the front. So I get that one. But lately, I've been getting a lot of people thinking I said "Victoria". Four this week alone. I'm really not sure where that is coming from LOL.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Me: Welcome to <My Company> You're speaking with <Me>
                      SC: Hello Michael.

                      Again, I told you my name 3 seconds ago. It is not Michael. Granted, it is marginally closer to Michael than it is to Operator, but tell me, how many girls do you know called Michael? I get called Michael ALL THE TIME, and I don't understand it. Apart from starting with a M, and being 2 syllables, my name is not remotelty close to Michael.
                      Ugh, back when I was answering customer service emails for infomercial fitness products (I'll have to post some stories some time...), people would constantly reply, "Hi Joe" or "Thanks for getting back to me so soon, Joe." It's ZOE. It is THE SIGNATURE I TYPED ON THE EMAIL. Z's and J's look nothing alike. Why is this so difficult for people?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth raw456 View Post

                        Oh - and hope your enjoying the winter down there on the apple isle my dad lives just outside of Hobart and tells me the days are getting "rather brisk"
                        'Brisk' is one way to put it. We had a high temperature of 9 degrees today! It took me 20 minutes to defrost my car!


                        I stand corrected on the Girls called Michael front. But I maintain, my name sounds nothing like Michael

                        Comment

                        Working...