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I've left my job in the computer store I was working at so my contact with SC's has dramatically declined thank goodness. I'm now doing some of the administration for a large shopping centre. Occassionally some people call the phone number of the complex (our office) instead of the actual store in the complex - no big deal our phone system is set up to allow us to then transfer them on to the appropriate store. We don't get a lot of calls like that, and most of what we get is pretty straightforward. I like my new job - SC's are pretty much nil. Until a couple of days ago.
My standard drill when answering the phone is "Good morning/afternoon [complex name], this is Rivulatus. So imagine my surprise when I'd barely got "morning" out of my mouth and I get shouted back at me "THIS IS AN STD CALL" (note for the non-Australian's - STD calls are long distance calls which are normally time charged, as against a single flat rate for local calls).
"OK"
"This is an STD Call so I want someone to call me back"
"Ok sir, I can arrange that, but I'll need some details first"
"Your not listening to me, this is an STD Call so I want someone to call me back" Click - BEEEP.
Ok, he hung up. At this point I don't know who he is, what his phone number is, or who he wants to call him back. All I know is he's a rude prick. So I laughed about him with the others in the office and went back to my work.
About an hour later I answer another call and once again I've barely got the word morning out of my mouth when "THIS IS AN STD CALL". Uh, it's the idiot again.
"AND I'M STILL WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO CALL ME BACK".
"Well sir, no-one has called you back because when you called before you didn't leave any details, like your name, number, and who you wanted a call back from"
"THIS IS AN STD CALL AND I EXPECT SOMEONE TO CALL ME BACK"
"Sir, this is just the administration office for [complex], I can get someone to call you back, but first I need to know which store you want a call from, and I need your phone number."
"I DONT HAVE TIME TO ARGUE THIS IS AN STD CALL AND I EXPECT SOMEONE TO CALL ME BACK. I BOUGHT A COMPUTER THERE YESTERDAY AND I EXPECT BETTER SERVICE THAN THIS." Click, Beep, he's hung up again.
There is only one store in the complex that sells computers, so I gave them a quick call to let them know there was a nutcase calling me, who bought a computer off them yesterday - figured they might know who it was. IME once an SC always an SC, so chances are he was being a dick yesterday too. Well being end of the financial year they sold a lot of computers yesterday, so that was a dead end. Another hour went past and sure enough, cut off during my hello message with "THIS IS AN STD CALL AND I'M STILL WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO CALL ME BACK". Because it was predictable I replied back "Tha'ts because I'm still waiting for you to tell me your phone number so I can organise someone to call you back."
"It's [fairly generic name] and I bought a computer there yesterday, and I expect someone to call me back about it. This is the third time I've had to call and I'm calling STD, so who's going to pay my phone bill".
"Sir, if you had have given me your name, phone number and who you wanted to speak to the FIRST time you called, I could have had someone call you. I still can't get anyone to call you because I still don't have your phone number. What is your phone number and I will have someone call you?"
"12345678" said very quickly...
I started to repeat the number back to make sure I'd written it down correctly..."STOP WASTING TIME THIS IS AN STD CALL, SOMEONE HAD BETTER CALL BE BACK AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT" Click Beep.
So I called the computer store and gave them the details - I must have written the number down correctly because I didn't get a call back - well not from him anyway.
Next one wasn't so much an SC but just plain crazy lady who had a huge lung capacity.
"Good Afternoon, [complex] this is Rivulatus"
"Good Afternoon Rivulatus, I need to speak to someone about well this is the story I should have come in to see you last week but i've been sick you see not the swine flu no not that thank goodness just the normal flu which i'm terribly upset about because i've had my vaccinations and i've still got sick so i'm going to have to see my doctor about that [so I'm thinking maybe she needs to speak to the doctor that is in the complex] but anyway that's not what i'm calling about see it was my birthday on sunday and my daughter came up to visit me from [nearby city] and she didn't want to stay and chat because she didn't want to catch the flu and she went out there to your store and she bought me my present and dropped it at my place and she didn't want to stay and chat because she didn't want to catch the flu but I asked her to stay but she couldn't so off she went so I opened it up and i thought that was very lovely of her but when i read the instructions it is way too complicated for me you'd have to have a degree from a university to operate it i think you'd have to be an electrical engineer or something like that it's just way to complicated and i can't use it so I want to know if i can bring it in for a refund but i don't have the receipt because my daughter has that and she's gone back to [nearby city] because she didn't want to stay because she didn't want to catch the flu i'd prefer a refund but an exchange would be ok as long as it's for something I can use because you'd have to be a genius to operate this some kind of electrical engineer with years at university or something so I need to know if i can return it."
Breathe and pause. I'm stunned - whether it is because she felt the need to tell me all that, or whether it is because she has managed to say it all without the slightest hint of pause I don't know. So after a moment I managed to say:
"Well you've just come through to the centre management for the complex, so I'll need to know which store it was bought from so I can transfer you through to them."
"Oh I'm not 100% sure which store she bought it from see i don't have the receipt because my daughter bought me the elecric blanket for my birthday from your store down there but..."
She said electric blanket - narrows it down to one of 2 stores, I'll take my chances with the bigger of the two, I'm not waiting for her to clarify any further. "Ok I'll transfer you now"... Gone hooray. Their problem now.
Then I realised .... it was an ELECTRIC BLANKET and it was TOO COMPLICATED!!! I've never seen an electric blanket that was any more complex than "Put it on your bed, plug it in, turn the dial for the amount of heat". I'm surprised she managed to work out how to use the telephone to call me!
My standard drill when answering the phone is "Good morning/afternoon [complex name], this is Rivulatus. So imagine my surprise when I'd barely got "morning" out of my mouth and I get shouted back at me "THIS IS AN STD CALL" (note for the non-Australian's - STD calls are long distance calls which are normally time charged, as against a single flat rate for local calls).
"OK"
"This is an STD Call so I want someone to call me back"
"Ok sir, I can arrange that, but I'll need some details first"
"Your not listening to me, this is an STD Call so I want someone to call me back" Click - BEEEP.
Ok, he hung up. At this point I don't know who he is, what his phone number is, or who he wants to call him back. All I know is he's a rude prick. So I laughed about him with the others in the office and went back to my work.
About an hour later I answer another call and once again I've barely got the word morning out of my mouth when "THIS IS AN STD CALL". Uh, it's the idiot again.
"AND I'M STILL WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO CALL ME BACK".
"Well sir, no-one has called you back because when you called before you didn't leave any details, like your name, number, and who you wanted a call back from"
"THIS IS AN STD CALL AND I EXPECT SOMEONE TO CALL ME BACK"
"Sir, this is just the administration office for [complex], I can get someone to call you back, but first I need to know which store you want a call from, and I need your phone number."
"I DONT HAVE TIME TO ARGUE THIS IS AN STD CALL AND I EXPECT SOMEONE TO CALL ME BACK. I BOUGHT A COMPUTER THERE YESTERDAY AND I EXPECT BETTER SERVICE THAN THIS." Click, Beep, he's hung up again.
There is only one store in the complex that sells computers, so I gave them a quick call to let them know there was a nutcase calling me, who bought a computer off them yesterday - figured they might know who it was. IME once an SC always an SC, so chances are he was being a dick yesterday too. Well being end of the financial year they sold a lot of computers yesterday, so that was a dead end. Another hour went past and sure enough, cut off during my hello message with "THIS IS AN STD CALL AND I'M STILL WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO CALL ME BACK". Because it was predictable I replied back "Tha'ts because I'm still waiting for you to tell me your phone number so I can organise someone to call you back."
"It's [fairly generic name] and I bought a computer there yesterday, and I expect someone to call me back about it. This is the third time I've had to call and I'm calling STD, so who's going to pay my phone bill".
"Sir, if you had have given me your name, phone number and who you wanted to speak to the FIRST time you called, I could have had someone call you. I still can't get anyone to call you because I still don't have your phone number. What is your phone number and I will have someone call you?"
"12345678" said very quickly...
I started to repeat the number back to make sure I'd written it down correctly..."STOP WASTING TIME THIS IS AN STD CALL, SOMEONE HAD BETTER CALL BE BACK AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT" Click Beep.
So I called the computer store and gave them the details - I must have written the number down correctly because I didn't get a call back - well not from him anyway.
Next one wasn't so much an SC but just plain crazy lady who had a huge lung capacity.
"Good Afternoon, [complex] this is Rivulatus"
"Good Afternoon Rivulatus, I need to speak to someone about well this is the story I should have come in to see you last week but i've been sick you see not the swine flu no not that thank goodness just the normal flu which i'm terribly upset about because i've had my vaccinations and i've still got sick so i'm going to have to see my doctor about that [so I'm thinking maybe she needs to speak to the doctor that is in the complex] but anyway that's not what i'm calling about see it was my birthday on sunday and my daughter came up to visit me from [nearby city] and she didn't want to stay and chat because she didn't want to catch the flu and she went out there to your store and she bought me my present and dropped it at my place and she didn't want to stay and chat because she didn't want to catch the flu but I asked her to stay but she couldn't so off she went so I opened it up and i thought that was very lovely of her but when i read the instructions it is way too complicated for me you'd have to have a degree from a university to operate it i think you'd have to be an electrical engineer or something like that it's just way to complicated and i can't use it so I want to know if i can bring it in for a refund but i don't have the receipt because my daughter has that and she's gone back to [nearby city] because she didn't want to stay because she didn't want to catch the flu i'd prefer a refund but an exchange would be ok as long as it's for something I can use because you'd have to be a genius to operate this some kind of electrical engineer with years at university or something so I need to know if i can return it."
Breathe and pause. I'm stunned - whether it is because she felt the need to tell me all that, or whether it is because she has managed to say it all without the slightest hint of pause I don't know. So after a moment I managed to say:
"Well you've just come through to the centre management for the complex, so I'll need to know which store it was bought from so I can transfer you through to them."
"Oh I'm not 100% sure which store she bought it from see i don't have the receipt because my daughter bought me the elecric blanket for my birthday from your store down there but..."
She said electric blanket - narrows it down to one of 2 stores, I'll take my chances with the bigger of the two, I'm not waiting for her to clarify any further. "Ok I'll transfer you now"... Gone hooray. Their problem now.
Then I realised .... it was an ELECTRIC BLANKET and it was TOO COMPLICATED!!! I've never seen an electric blanket that was any more complex than "Put it on your bed, plug it in, turn the dial for the amount of heat". I'm surprised she managed to work out how to use the telephone to call me!
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