You're pissed *WHY*?!?! (language and mild rant)

[wagegoth]

No worries! I know you weren't being unfair about the whole thing, and the Darwin thing was just one of those things you say when you are ticked off to the max. One time my lil' guy decided the best way to eat a graham cracker was to shove it all the way down his throat whole. I was so ticked (because I was scared of him choking) that the first thing out of my mouth was "If you are intent on choking to death in the grocery store, lets head back to produce, get you a zucchini and you can do it right."

I got a dirty look for that one.

My younger son, if he tasted a new food that he really liked (I remember the pancake incident like it was yesterday), would then proceed to stuff as much of it as possible into his mouth. I have no idea how many times I had to reach in and pull food out of his mouth while trying not to hyperventilate from fear he would choke.

BTW, who gave you the dirty look?

[MelodiousBubbles]

Probably someone with no sense of humor XD

[TTAZ]

Ah it was just some old sour-puss loading up on sugar in the cookie aisle. You wouldn't believe some of the things I say to my kid. I've gotten dirty looks from sourpusses just by singing the hearse song (the worms crawl in...the worms crawl out) or doing my Achmed the Dead Terrorist impression. Just today I was being told an old story about how a friend's son was banned from an uber-religious household because he made their computer say the word "butt".

Not kidding. BUTT.

My response?

"They'd probably love the fact I tell my 2 year old at least once a day to move his ass."

Today's theme was "Are you TRYING to kill yourself, or just me?!"

If this kid makes it to 3 without needing at least one cast I'll be shocked. As it is he gives himself so many bruises he looks like a professional crash test dummy.

[MelodiousBubbles]

I was apparently an escape artist according to my mum. Cribs, high chairs, car seats, etc. I could escape them all. The car seat, which was supposed to make that loud sproing noise when opened was my specialty cuz one day I guess I got out of it in complete silence while my mum was on the highway. Nearly gave her a heart attack.

Damn, I wish I still had my Houdini powers.