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More from the forgotten archives. I'm not even halfway yet!
It sure does
The first customer I had on this day asked me where the cigarette filters were (this is a pet shop), so I began to suspect that this would be an interesting day to say the least.
My suspicions were soon confirmed when a woman entered with her young daughter (7ish, I'm terrible with ages due to my crippling aversion to children, but she was definitely no older than 10). They began to look around the shop.
Me: Can I help you guys at all?
SC: No, just looking thanks. Do you have any of those fish tank cleaning magnets?
Me: Sure do, just on that shelf over there *points*
SC: OK, thanks.
They wander off to said shelf, and as they go I notice the daughter's shirt reads "SHIT HAPPENS AYE". That's right. The 7 year old was wearing a shirt that not only displayed a startling amount of cynicism for a young girl, but also a swear word (in neon pink) AND an unnecessary third word added just to really hit home how very bogan the shirt was.
They left a short time later, and later that afternoon I found an empty hydrometer packet. Sigh. I really have to stop trusting people, particularly people who let their seven year old daughter wear a "shit happens aye" shirt.
You're going to have to be a little more specific.
I have a ridiculous amount of people come in and ask me for "Flea stuff". Here is a short list of flea treatments I have in my shop:
Frontline
Frontline Spray
Advantix
Advocate
Exelpet line-on
Flea powder
Flea shampoo
Flea rinse concentrate
Flea collars
Capstar tablets
Now, I'm not a complete asshole, I realise that people might not know there is a plethora of flea products out there, so I usually just politely point this out and try and help them find what they had in mind... but sometimes this kind of shit ensues:
Me: Hello, how are you?
SC: Flea stuff. (Strange Diseases #4!)
Me: Ok.. what kind of flea stuff were you after, i've go-
SC: FLEA TREATMENT. (Said slowly)
I heard you, fuckbat. I'm trying to hand you a clue, take it and stop making a dick of yourself.
Me: Yes, there's a few different kinds, were you after like a shampoo or a powder or-
SC: The FLEA STUFF! You know, that goes on the back of the neck?
Me: Ah, Frontline?
SC: Yes. (With an air that she had FINALLY gotten through to me, the idiot).
Me: (Dropping all friendliness) What size.
SC: What?
Me: What size dog.
SC: It's a CAT!
Me: Ok, how many?
SC: One!
(I get one)
SC: No, a PACK!
Me: Oh, sorry. You said one, so I thought you meant, yknow, ONE. Did you want a 3 pack or a 6 pack?
SC: 3 pack. JUST ONE.
She of course then bitched about the price and paid by credit card. I hate you, sour-faced hosebeast.
McGuynan
This was actually quite awesome, and improved my day by about 10. 10 what? I dunno, day points?
Anyway, this old lady comes in with her 2 grandkids just so they can have a look at the fish, and her phone rings. The ringtone?
McGuyver.
MCGUYVER!
This grandma not only had a mobile phone, but one with a fsking McGuyver ringtone!
All kinds of awesome.
Strange Diseases #5 (with bonus idiocy!)
Me: Hello, how are you?
SC: pHD Testers!
I assume you mean pH testers, unless you really are telling me how you are and have just given me an invaluable clue about the name of the next swine flu, cooked up in a lab by professors, and you were a testing victim.
Unfortunately, I don't give a shit.
~~~
^__^
It sure does
The first customer I had on this day asked me where the cigarette filters were (this is a pet shop), so I began to suspect that this would be an interesting day to say the least.
My suspicions were soon confirmed when a woman entered with her young daughter (7ish, I'm terrible with ages due to my crippling aversion to children, but she was definitely no older than 10). They began to look around the shop.
Me: Can I help you guys at all?
SC: No, just looking thanks. Do you have any of those fish tank cleaning magnets?
Me: Sure do, just on that shelf over there *points*
SC: OK, thanks.
They wander off to said shelf, and as they go I notice the daughter's shirt reads "SHIT HAPPENS AYE". That's right. The 7 year old was wearing a shirt that not only displayed a startling amount of cynicism for a young girl, but also a swear word (in neon pink) AND an unnecessary third word added just to really hit home how very bogan the shirt was.
They left a short time later, and later that afternoon I found an empty hydrometer packet. Sigh. I really have to stop trusting people, particularly people who let their seven year old daughter wear a "shit happens aye" shirt.
You're going to have to be a little more specific.
I have a ridiculous amount of people come in and ask me for "Flea stuff". Here is a short list of flea treatments I have in my shop:
Frontline
Frontline Spray
Advantix
Advocate
Exelpet line-on
Flea powder
Flea shampoo
Flea rinse concentrate
Flea collars
Capstar tablets
Now, I'm not a complete asshole, I realise that people might not know there is a plethora of flea products out there, so I usually just politely point this out and try and help them find what they had in mind... but sometimes this kind of shit ensues:
Me: Hello, how are you?
SC: Flea stuff. (Strange Diseases #4!)
Me: Ok.. what kind of flea stuff were you after, i've go-
SC: FLEA TREATMENT. (Said slowly)
I heard you, fuckbat. I'm trying to hand you a clue, take it and stop making a dick of yourself.
Me: Yes, there's a few different kinds, were you after like a shampoo or a powder or-
SC: The FLEA STUFF! You know, that goes on the back of the neck?
Me: Ah, Frontline?
SC: Yes. (With an air that she had FINALLY gotten through to me, the idiot).
Me: (Dropping all friendliness) What size.
SC: What?
Me: What size dog.
SC: It's a CAT!
Me: Ok, how many?
SC: One!
(I get one)
SC: No, a PACK!
Me: Oh, sorry. You said one, so I thought you meant, yknow, ONE. Did you want a 3 pack or a 6 pack?
SC: 3 pack. JUST ONE.
She of course then bitched about the price and paid by credit card. I hate you, sour-faced hosebeast.
McGuynan
This was actually quite awesome, and improved my day by about 10. 10 what? I dunno, day points?
Anyway, this old lady comes in with her 2 grandkids just so they can have a look at the fish, and her phone rings. The ringtone?
McGuyver.
MCGUYVER!
This grandma not only had a mobile phone, but one with a fsking McGuyver ringtone!
All kinds of awesome.
Strange Diseases #5 (with bonus idiocy!)
Me: Hello, how are you?
SC: pHD Testers!
I assume you mean pH testers, unless you really are telling me how you are and have just given me an invaluable clue about the name of the next swine flu, cooked up in a lab by professors, and you were a testing victim.
Unfortunately, I don't give a shit.
~~~
^__^
: "Hi there!"
: "DVD Players!"
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