Evil Lunatic Strikes Again!
OK, in my first thread I mentioned working retail. I also currently work at a law office. First off, let me establish that two lawyers have offices in this building. I work for "John." I have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with "Amy's" practice, unless you count transferring phone calls to voice mail, and sometimes taking mail back to her assistant.
I do, however, usually stay later than either Amy or her assistant. So sometimes I take calls from people who want to talk to Amy. In this case:
Me: "Hello, Law Offices, How can I help you?"
ELWRFMG: I want to talk to Amy.
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, but Amy and her assistant are both out of the office for the evening. If you can leave a message on her voice mail, she or her assistant will call you back in the morning.
ELWRFMG: Well, my son's in jail, and it's all Amy's fault and I want to talk to her and tell her that she ruined my life because my son won't be here for Thanksgiving, or Christmas. (Insert profanity as you desire, there was a lot of it)
Me: Well, I'm sorry, ma'am, but I truly can't do anything for you. If you wish to speak with Amy, you will have to leave a message.
ELWRFMGstill spewing profanity and yelling about how Amy destroyed her family)
Me: *looks terrified*
John: Oh, is that the Crazy Lady? She rents from your grandma, you know. Haven't you heard about her? She calls here every year around this time.
Me: *nods*
ELWRFMGstill yelling)
John: hang up on her.
ELWRFMG: (still yelling)
me: *looks terrified some more*
John: hang up on her.
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, I wish I could help, but I can't. *hangs up* Are you sure she isn't going to come after me now?
John: *laughs*
It turns out she is now harassing my grandma, too. She calls with questions like, "What are the people across the street doing? Why aren't they parked the same place they were parked yesterday? What are you going to DO about the fact that they moved their car?"
Creepy Men Who Like My Chest - part 1
or
Why I hate mirrored sunglasses
I also spent 3 months in Alaska, where I climbed a lot of mountains. A LOT of mountains. And thousands upon thousands of stairs. I lost about fifteen pounds that summer. All of it from my stomach, none from my chest. I made the mistake of wearing a slightly tight-fitting shirt on my first day back to working at TV Hardware. (Where, by the way, my brother also works)
Me: Scanning items
Sunglass man: (to my brother) Wow, you're a lucky guy, you get to spend your time here with the pretty girl.
Brother: Uh, gross, man, she's my sister!
Sunglass man: Oh! Well, then, it's my lucky day, because I get to see the pretty girl!
Let me draw this scene for you. This man would be somewhat taller than me, except that our register area is elevated slightly, so that customers typically have to look up slightly to look me in the eye. This man's face was pointing straight ahead... about at my throat. I am aware that my throat is not a particularly interesting area of my body, and although with mirrored sunglasses he could have been directing his eyes at my face, his comments, vocal tone, and the creepy feeling I had about him all suggested that he was actually staring somewhat lower than my throat.
I fought back the urge to slap him, yell "I'm up here!," rip off his sunglasses, or run away crying, finished the transaction, and went to my supervisor to inform her that I would no longer be helping male customers who wore mirrored sunglasses. She, being the wonderful person that she was (she died of cancer last fall, and every single person at the store misses her terribly) told me in no uncertain terms that if I was ever uncomfortable with a customer again, I was to call one of the boys to finish the transaction, and remove myself from the situation.
Creepy Men Who Like My Chest - part 2
or
Learn your numbers before you ask for them
I don't have a problem with hispanic people who have difficulties with English, in general. I understand that it is scary and uncomfortable to be in a place where you dont' understand the language, and intimidating to even begin to learn the language. Some things, in my mind, are more important than others.
Also, for the record, my brother speaks fluent Spanish. I speak German and enough Spanish to find a bathroom or order a meal.
Creep: *waves key at me, pointing to the key machine and jabbering in Spanish.*
Me: You would like a key made?
Creep: si. yes.
Me: How many?
Creep: *looks confused*
Me: Would you like one key or two? (hoping that at least he would recognize "one" and "two" and pick up on what I was asking)
Creep continues looking confused.
Me: (into my radio) Bob, could you come cut a key please? (to Creep) Would you like one? *hold up one finger* or two? *two fingers* *point to key to clarify that I am referring to his keys*
Creep: Two. Two.
Bob arrives and I request two copies of the key.
Creep: You have telephone?
Me: yes.
Creep: I can have your number?
Me: No.
Creep: Why no?
Me: I don't give out my number to people I don't know.
Creep: I call. Then you know me.
Me: I don't give out my number.
Creep: Please?
Me: No, I'm sorry, I don't give out my number.
Creep: I call you.
Me: No.
Creep: You pretty. I give you number. You call, I take you dinner. *hands me a business card and walks away*
This guy didn't make me feel as naked as Sunglass man, so mostly I told my Supervisor because I knew everyone would get a kick out of the guy who couldn't understand "how many" but could ask for a girl's phone number with no problems.
So you would use the easier one to use?
I was checking out a customer at ABC fabrics when the phone rang, so I called my supervisor, "Kari," up to grab the phone. As I was finishing my transaction, this is what I heard.
Kari: ...Yes, we do have several different shades of brown vinyl. ...Well, yes, there are some that are chocolate color, but it would be best if you could come in and determine whether one of them matches what you want yourself. ... We carry vinyl that is backed with flannel and some that is backed in knit. ...The flannel backed costs $$$ and the knit backed costs $$$. Well, for that, I personally would use the flannel backed. ...It's more flexible and easier to work with. ...Flannel is soft. ... Yes, kind of fuzzy. ... No, not furry. ...Yes, we do have some in brown. ... yes, we have a few different shades. ...yes, flannel backed and knit backed. ... well no, it isn't stretchy. ... I would use the flannel backed. ... It's more flexible and easier to use. (and so on and so forth for several minutes.) ... Could you hold for a moment, please? ... OK. *puts customer on hold.*
Jess, could you take this phone call for me? I've answered all of her questions several times, and she just doesn't seem to be understanding, and I just can't take it anymore.
Me: sure. *picks up phone* This is Emily, how can I help you?
SC: Yes, I'm trying to cover a child's chair in vinyl. Do you have brown vinyl?
Me: Yes, we do have several different shades of brown vinyl. We have some that is backed with flannel and some that is backed with knit fabric. The flannel backed costs $$$ and the knit backed costs $$$.
SC: Which one would you use, if you were doing this?
Me: I would use the flannel backed. It's easier to deal with because it's thinner and more flexible.
SC: What's the difference between flannel backed and knit backed?
Me: The vinyl is the same, but for stability, vinyl has fabric fused to the back. The knit backed one has knit fabric, like a T-shirt, fused to it, and the flannel-backed has flannel fused to it.
SC: Is the knit backed stretchy?
Me: No, because the vinyl is bound to the knit, so even though knit fabric is stretchy, once its fused it doesn't stretch.
SC: Can you spell flannel for me?
Me: F-L-A-N-N-E-L
SC: OK. F-L-A-N-N-E-L (as if taking notes). What is flannel?
Me: It's a woven fabric, so it isn't stretchy, and it's soft and kind of fuzzy.
SC: Furry?
Me: No, not really, just like winter pajamas. fuzzy.
SC: Oh. So would you use the flannel backed or the knit backed?
OK you get the picture. Lets just say this went on for a full fifteen minutes, with only two employees in the store and customers to help, too. Finally, when I was asked "Who manufactures the flannel backed vinyl, and where is it made?" which was at least a creative new question, I may have rolled my eyes slightly. ONLY physically, not in my voice. SC had no idea. Kari did. "Put her on hold," she directed.
Kari: OK. We've both been dealing with this woman for several minutes, we have patiently answered all of her questions multiple times, and we have recommended multiple times that she come in to see the vinyl for herself. Right?
Me: yeah.
Kari: OK. Give me the phone. *picks up* Ma'am?... yes. Well, we don't have that information available. If you call back tomorrow and talk to the woman who does the ordering, she may be able to help you with that. ... Well, actually, we have several customers in the store, and we have been on the phone with you for fifteen minutes now, so we really need to get back to helping them.
SC (loudly): You've been TIMING me!? I'm a customer, I'm going to come in and spend money at your store, and you're TIMING me? Don't you want my business?
Kari: Actually, ma'am, I don't really care if you buy from us or not at this time. We really need to get back to our other customers. I'm going to hang up now, good bye. *hangs up*
Now, admittedly, telling the SC that she didn't care if we got her business or not was probably not the best choice, and I can think of at least two things that could have been said that would have kept everyone happy and calm, but Kari has a breaking point, after which she isn't really concerned with keeping SC's happy. So instead, she called the manager and explained what had happened. The manager agreed that the end could have been handled better, but mostly supported the decision to hang up on this individual. The customers who are actually in the store are our first priority. Part of the explanation was, "Even JESS was getting irritated." Apparently, despite having a famously short temper for most of my life, I have a reputation for a cool head when dealing with SC's. I'm proud of myself for that.
OK, in my first thread I mentioned working retail. I also currently work at a law office. First off, let me establish that two lawyers have offices in this building. I work for "John." I have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with "Amy's" practice, unless you count transferring phone calls to voice mail, and sometimes taking mail back to her assistant.
I do, however, usually stay later than either Amy or her assistant. So sometimes I take calls from people who want to talk to Amy. In this case:
Me: "Hello, Law Offices, How can I help you?"
ELWRFMG: I want to talk to Amy.
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, but Amy and her assistant are both out of the office for the evening. If you can leave a message on her voice mail, she or her assistant will call you back in the morning.
ELWRFMG: Well, my son's in jail, and it's all Amy's fault and I want to talk to her and tell her that she ruined my life because my son won't be here for Thanksgiving, or Christmas. (Insert profanity as you desire, there was a lot of it)
Me: Well, I'm sorry, ma'am, but I truly can't do anything for you. If you wish to speak with Amy, you will have to leave a message.
ELWRFMGstill spewing profanity and yelling about how Amy destroyed her family)
Me: *looks terrified*
John: Oh, is that the Crazy Lady? She rents from your grandma, you know. Haven't you heard about her? She calls here every year around this time.
Me: *nods*
ELWRFMGstill yelling)
John: hang up on her.
ELWRFMG: (still yelling)
me: *looks terrified some more*
John: hang up on her.
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, I wish I could help, but I can't. *hangs up* Are you sure she isn't going to come after me now?
John: *laughs*
It turns out she is now harassing my grandma, too. She calls with questions like, "What are the people across the street doing? Why aren't they parked the same place they were parked yesterday? What are you going to DO about the fact that they moved their car?"
Creepy Men Who Like My Chest - part 1
or
Why I hate mirrored sunglasses
I also spent 3 months in Alaska, where I climbed a lot of mountains. A LOT of mountains. And thousands upon thousands of stairs. I lost about fifteen pounds that summer. All of it from my stomach, none from my chest. I made the mistake of wearing a slightly tight-fitting shirt on my first day back to working at TV Hardware. (Where, by the way, my brother also works)
Me: Scanning items
Sunglass man: (to my brother) Wow, you're a lucky guy, you get to spend your time here with the pretty girl.
Brother: Uh, gross, man, she's my sister!
Sunglass man: Oh! Well, then, it's my lucky day, because I get to see the pretty girl!
Let me draw this scene for you. This man would be somewhat taller than me, except that our register area is elevated slightly, so that customers typically have to look up slightly to look me in the eye. This man's face was pointing straight ahead... about at my throat. I am aware that my throat is not a particularly interesting area of my body, and although with mirrored sunglasses he could have been directing his eyes at my face, his comments, vocal tone, and the creepy feeling I had about him all suggested that he was actually staring somewhat lower than my throat.
I fought back the urge to slap him, yell "I'm up here!," rip off his sunglasses, or run away crying, finished the transaction, and went to my supervisor to inform her that I would no longer be helping male customers who wore mirrored sunglasses. She, being the wonderful person that she was (she died of cancer last fall, and every single person at the store misses her terribly) told me in no uncertain terms that if I was ever uncomfortable with a customer again, I was to call one of the boys to finish the transaction, and remove myself from the situation.
Creepy Men Who Like My Chest - part 2
or
Learn your numbers before you ask for them
I don't have a problem with hispanic people who have difficulties with English, in general. I understand that it is scary and uncomfortable to be in a place where you dont' understand the language, and intimidating to even begin to learn the language. Some things, in my mind, are more important than others.
Also, for the record, my brother speaks fluent Spanish. I speak German and enough Spanish to find a bathroom or order a meal.
Creep: *waves key at me, pointing to the key machine and jabbering in Spanish.*
Me: You would like a key made?
Creep: si. yes.
Me: How many?
Creep: *looks confused*
Me: Would you like one key or two? (hoping that at least he would recognize "one" and "two" and pick up on what I was asking)
Creep continues looking confused.
Me: (into my radio) Bob, could you come cut a key please? (to Creep) Would you like one? *hold up one finger* or two? *two fingers* *point to key to clarify that I am referring to his keys*
Creep: Two. Two.
Bob arrives and I request two copies of the key.
Creep: You have telephone?
Me: yes.
Creep: I can have your number?
Me: No.
Creep: Why no?
Me: I don't give out my number to people I don't know.
Creep: I call. Then you know me.
Me: I don't give out my number.
Creep: Please?
Me: No, I'm sorry, I don't give out my number.
Creep: I call you.
Me: No.
Creep: You pretty. I give you number. You call, I take you dinner. *hands me a business card and walks away*
This guy didn't make me feel as naked as Sunglass man, so mostly I told my Supervisor because I knew everyone would get a kick out of the guy who couldn't understand "how many" but could ask for a girl's phone number with no problems.
So you would use the easier one to use?
I was checking out a customer at ABC fabrics when the phone rang, so I called my supervisor, "Kari," up to grab the phone. As I was finishing my transaction, this is what I heard.
Kari: ...Yes, we do have several different shades of brown vinyl. ...Well, yes, there are some that are chocolate color, but it would be best if you could come in and determine whether one of them matches what you want yourself. ... We carry vinyl that is backed with flannel and some that is backed in knit. ...The flannel backed costs $$$ and the knit backed costs $$$. Well, for that, I personally would use the flannel backed. ...It's more flexible and easier to work with. ...Flannel is soft. ... Yes, kind of fuzzy. ... No, not furry. ...Yes, we do have some in brown. ... yes, we have a few different shades. ...yes, flannel backed and knit backed. ... well no, it isn't stretchy. ... I would use the flannel backed. ... It's more flexible and easier to use. (and so on and so forth for several minutes.) ... Could you hold for a moment, please? ... OK. *puts customer on hold.*
Jess, could you take this phone call for me? I've answered all of her questions several times, and she just doesn't seem to be understanding, and I just can't take it anymore.
Me: sure. *picks up phone* This is Emily, how can I help you?
SC: Yes, I'm trying to cover a child's chair in vinyl. Do you have brown vinyl?
Me: Yes, we do have several different shades of brown vinyl. We have some that is backed with flannel and some that is backed with knit fabric. The flannel backed costs $$$ and the knit backed costs $$$.
SC: Which one would you use, if you were doing this?
Me: I would use the flannel backed. It's easier to deal with because it's thinner and more flexible.
SC: What's the difference between flannel backed and knit backed?
Me: The vinyl is the same, but for stability, vinyl has fabric fused to the back. The knit backed one has knit fabric, like a T-shirt, fused to it, and the flannel-backed has flannel fused to it.
SC: Is the knit backed stretchy?
Me: No, because the vinyl is bound to the knit, so even though knit fabric is stretchy, once its fused it doesn't stretch.
SC: Can you spell flannel for me?
Me: F-L-A-N-N-E-L
SC: OK. F-L-A-N-N-E-L (as if taking notes). What is flannel?
Me: It's a woven fabric, so it isn't stretchy, and it's soft and kind of fuzzy.
SC: Furry?
Me: No, not really, just like winter pajamas. fuzzy.
SC: Oh. So would you use the flannel backed or the knit backed?
OK you get the picture. Lets just say this went on for a full fifteen minutes, with only two employees in the store and customers to help, too. Finally, when I was asked "Who manufactures the flannel backed vinyl, and where is it made?" which was at least a creative new question, I may have rolled my eyes slightly. ONLY physically, not in my voice. SC had no idea. Kari did. "Put her on hold," she directed.
Kari: OK. We've both been dealing with this woman for several minutes, we have patiently answered all of her questions multiple times, and we have recommended multiple times that she come in to see the vinyl for herself. Right?
Me: yeah.
Kari: OK. Give me the phone. *picks up* Ma'am?... yes. Well, we don't have that information available. If you call back tomorrow and talk to the woman who does the ordering, she may be able to help you with that. ... Well, actually, we have several customers in the store, and we have been on the phone with you for fifteen minutes now, so we really need to get back to helping them.
SC (loudly): You've been TIMING me!? I'm a customer, I'm going to come in and spend money at your store, and you're TIMING me? Don't you want my business?
Kari: Actually, ma'am, I don't really care if you buy from us or not at this time. We really need to get back to our other customers. I'm going to hang up now, good bye. *hangs up*
Now, admittedly, telling the SC that she didn't care if we got her business or not was probably not the best choice, and I can think of at least two things that could have been said that would have kept everyone happy and calm, but Kari has a breaking point, after which she isn't really concerned with keeping SC's happy. So instead, she called the manager and explained what had happened. The manager agreed that the end could have been handled better, but mostly supported the decision to hang up on this individual. The customers who are actually in the store are our first priority. Part of the explanation was, "Even JESS was getting irritated." Apparently, despite having a famously short temper for most of my life, I have a reputation for a cool head when dealing with SC's. I'm proud of myself for that.
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