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And I'm starting to get those blues and I can't drink them away..
Most irritating thing I hear every single monkey-nekkid night!
Me: Spewing out company spiel and stating name
SC: Yes, are you a machine/computer/robot?
I used to always say "No sir/ma'am, I'm a live person" but lately I've been snapping "Do I sound like a computer/machine/robot?" in not the friendliest voice.
Someone, I need a snappy/smart assed answer that won't get me in trouble with corporate.
Ears to fingers disconnect
One of our competitors ran a roses and free bottle of wine special for 30 bucks plus shipping on the radio. We never advertise on the radio and we don't offer that special, which is substandard short stemmed roses that are seconds and a bottle of wine not much better than Boones Farm. You'd be better off stopping at Wal Mart to get wine and roses than buying this chumps setup.
So all day I get -
SC: Yes, I want to order your rose and wine special I just heard advertised on the radio.
Me: Ma'am/Sir that was not our ad, that was a competitors ad.
SC: But... but.. but......... I called this number and it was the number on the ad!
Me: We never advertise on the radio. You must have taken down the number wrong.
SC: No I didn't! This is bait and switch! YOU WILL SELL ME WHAT YOU ADVERTISE!!!! Eleventtttttttyy111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: (speaking in a very stern school marmish voice now) Ma'am, That. Was. A. Competitors Ad. You have misdialed. We do not offer wine because none of our florist have liquor licenses. That is not our ad.
SC: Well, I demand you price match their ad!!
Me: Madam, I cannot price match because, as I just explained, none of our florists have the proper licensure to sell or deliver wine and the flowers in the ad are seconds or substandards, which we do not carry. I bid you a good day.
Usually by this time they are screaming and carrying on about calling consumer advocates and the BBB, refusing to consider that they lied to me, didn't write the phone number down from the radio, just opened the yellow pages and called the first large floral company listed.
Yeah, and Jack Bauer is looking through our main office for a bomb too..
Since school has let out I've been deluged on the 3-11 shift with kids making crank calls. Mostly I know without seconds by the giggling and I just hang up. But last night's was creative even if I knew as soon as the caller started speaking..
Me: spilling out company spiel followed by name.
SC: I am a cop...
Me: Yes?
SC: I am calling to investigate a murder
Me: I don't think so. I'm disconnecting now Sipowitz.
Is it the heat or the stupidity?
This week I've been forced to endure the most mushy stupid stomach turning card messages to go with the flowers. I can't decide if I should sprinkle Saltpeter on the phone or Lysol after these calls. Travesties listed below.
My hot sexy chocolate fudge packing chica
I love you like a fat man loves cake
You are my soul mate through all time and eternity. Please forgive me for sleeping with your sister.
From your hot passionate Big Red One.
Your toes taste like chocolate covered macadamia nuts, I can't wait to taste the rest of you.
The way you dance on the stage before me lets me know you really do love me. Please let me get to know you!
I'm losing my gag reflex listening to this drivel.
Most irritating thing I hear every single monkey-nekkid night!
Me: Spewing out company spiel and stating name
SC: Yes, are you a machine/computer/robot?
I used to always say "No sir/ma'am, I'm a live person" but lately I've been snapping "Do I sound like a computer/machine/robot?" in not the friendliest voice.
Someone, I need a snappy/smart assed answer that won't get me in trouble with corporate.
Ears to fingers disconnect
One of our competitors ran a roses and free bottle of wine special for 30 bucks plus shipping on the radio. We never advertise on the radio and we don't offer that special, which is substandard short stemmed roses that are seconds and a bottle of wine not much better than Boones Farm. You'd be better off stopping at Wal Mart to get wine and roses than buying this chumps setup.
So all day I get -
SC: Yes, I want to order your rose and wine special I just heard advertised on the radio.
Me: Ma'am/Sir that was not our ad, that was a competitors ad.
SC: But... but.. but......... I called this number and it was the number on the ad!
Me: We never advertise on the radio. You must have taken down the number wrong.
SC: No I didn't! This is bait and switch! YOU WILL SELL ME WHAT YOU ADVERTISE!!!! Eleventtttttttyy111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: (speaking in a very stern school marmish voice now) Ma'am, That. Was. A. Competitors Ad. You have misdialed. We do not offer wine because none of our florist have liquor licenses. That is not our ad.
SC: Well, I demand you price match their ad!!
Me: Madam, I cannot price match because, as I just explained, none of our florists have the proper licensure to sell or deliver wine and the flowers in the ad are seconds or substandards, which we do not carry. I bid you a good day.
Usually by this time they are screaming and carrying on about calling consumer advocates and the BBB, refusing to consider that they lied to me, didn't write the phone number down from the radio, just opened the yellow pages and called the first large floral company listed.
Yeah, and Jack Bauer is looking through our main office for a bomb too..
Since school has let out I've been deluged on the 3-11 shift with kids making crank calls. Mostly I know without seconds by the giggling and I just hang up. But last night's was creative even if I knew as soon as the caller started speaking..
Me: spilling out company spiel followed by name.
SC: I am a cop...
Me: Yes?
SC: I am calling to investigate a murder
Me: I don't think so. I'm disconnecting now Sipowitz.
Is it the heat or the stupidity?
This week I've been forced to endure the most mushy stupid stomach turning card messages to go with the flowers. I can't decide if I should sprinkle Saltpeter on the phone or Lysol after these calls. Travesties listed below.
My hot sexy chocolate fudge packing chica
I love you like a fat man loves cake
You are my soul mate through all time and eternity. Please forgive me for sleeping with your sister.
From your hot passionate Big Red One.
Your toes taste like chocolate covered macadamia nuts, I can't wait to taste the rest of you.
The way you dance on the stage before me lets me know you really do love me. Please let me get to know you!
I'm losing my gag reflex listening to this drivel.
)
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