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Why I now hate squares

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  • Why I now hate squares

    So this lady comes up with a bolt of rather expensive fabric. Apparently she's on a scavenger hunt and needs a bandana.

    SC: I need a bandana
    Me: Ok, what size
    SC: Square
    Me: You want a square?
    SC: Yes
    Me: (this is a 44" piece of fabric, she probably doesn't notice how big it is because it's folded in half.) I can only cut it this way (I motion down the fabric's width.)
    SC: Square
    Me: Ok (I measure out 44", that's a yard 8". That's a lot) I'll be here
    SC: (apparently I had my hand resting on the counter) To your thumb?
    Me: (I move my hand) No, all of it
    SC: Square
    Me yes ma'am, this would be a square.
    SC: Square
    Me: (I unfold the fabric to show her that it is indeed a square) I asked how much you wanted, you said square which means you obviously want the same width and length, which would be 44".
    SC: SQUARE! BANDANA! SQUARE! (speaking slowly and loud as if I'm an idiot)
    Me:...and can you tell me how long you would like this square to be?
    SC: ARE YOU AN IDIOT? SQUARE!
    Me: Ok, why don't we try using numbers? 20"? 10"? Maybe 15"?
    SC: (sigh) Don't you know what a bandana is?
    Me: I do. You asked for a square, the only way for me to get you that square would be to give you 44".
    SC: A square can be any size, just cut both sides!
    Me: (oh, we're finally getting it. Yes, a square can be any size, but you have yet to give me that f***ing size! Argh!) As I've already stated, I can only cut the width for you, which I'd be more than happy to do if you'd just give me a measurement. Might I recommend 22"? That's the average size for a bandana.
    SC: Square
    Me: Alrightly then, 22" inches it is. (At this point I don't care anymore)
    SC: (Takes fabric then notices it's folded and not just double sided. I thought she already knew that since I had unfolded it for her once. No, it's not a square when you unfold it. It's 22" By 44". Just keep it folded or cut it in half, there's already a line to follow.) This isn't square!
    Me: I cannot cut it to be a square, I cannot cut it lengthwise. I cannot cut bandanas, I can only cut fabric. I cut the fabric, you make the bandana.
    SC: SQUARE!
    Me: We have bandanas in the second to last row, I can show you.
    SC: I want this pattern, I want it square (Again talking very slow as if I'm a child)
    Me: Alright, fine. (I cut the d*** fabric.) SQUARE! (I throw the ticket at her and go to the back room for a little break. Five minutes later my CW comes to the back.)

    CW: What should I do with this? (She holds up the cut fabric.) The lady said it costs too much. (At this point I die a little on the inside. F***ing squares)

    Oh, I'd also like to mention random lady who kept asking me the same question over and over during this exchange. It wasn't enough that I had to hear the word square 20 times, lets toss this into the mix.

    RL: Where's the dollar fabrics?
    Me: We don't have a section for dollar fabrics. The only ones you'll find are the 44" kona muslins and some of the red tag fabrics, though not many.
    RL: I'm looking for the dollar cottons.
    Me: We don't have any. The symphony are on sale for $1.99 and the Country Classics are a dollar off. Maybe that's what you saw?
    (meanwhile SC from before looks like her head is going to explode)
    RL: So you don't have dollar fabrics?
    Me: Well, we have thousands of fabrics in the store. Only 1% of those are a dollar a yard. Try checking in the red tags.
    RL then walks by every 5 minutes for 2 hours insisting there's a section for dollar fabrics. You got me. The gremlins that live in the sealing saw you coming and ate all the dollar fabrics just so your cheep ass wouldn't be able to buy them.

  • #2
    Quoth flutes_and_fabric View Post
    RL: So you don't have dollar fabrics?
    You should have offered her the square....
    "I'm not smiling because I'm happy. I'm smiling because every time I blink your head explodes!"
    -Red

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    • #3
      That little exchange was grown from the same compost heap that about a quarter of the conversations I had at Kinko's did.

      "I need a poster!"

      Okay, what size?

      "You know! A POSTER!"



      One idiot did it with colors:

      Idiot: What color can you make this?
      Me: Sir, I can make this any color you like.
      Idiot: And what color would that be?
      Me: I don't know.
      Idiot: Why dont' you know?
      Me: Because you haven't told me yet.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
        Me: Sir, I can make this any color you like.
        Dark Side of the Moon rules!

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        • #5
          Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
          Idiot: What color can you make this?
          Me: Sir, I can make this any color you like.
          ...as long as it's blue.


          ...


          Ok, so I watched too much TV as a kid.
          The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
          "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
          Hoc spatio locantur.

          Comment


          • #6
            You Can All Join In - Traffic 1968

            Here’s a little song you can all join in with
            It’s very simple and I hope it’s new
            Make your own words up if you want to
            Any old words that you think will do
            Yellow, blue, what’ll I do?
            Maybe I’ll just sit here thinking
            Black, white, stop the fight
            Does one of these colours ever bother you?
            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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            • #7
              I sent a link to this thread to my mom and her response was "Can I have a square in every color??????????????" LOL
              "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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              • #8
                I seem to recall a quote on the CustomersSuck.com main page thing comparing a tech support call to going to a restaurant and demanding "Food!"

                I can understand people can REALLY suck with computers (Especially my parents... My God, I saw a thread several pages back of Gravekeeper's which referred to the dreaded 867. Another poster in that thread referred to the dreaded 781 and I thought "Oh My God, that's probably my dad") and not get how to fix things.

                But I never met someone who didn't know something as basic as "Square isn't a size"
                Childrenofthenight.Thecomicseries.com/comics/latest

                Check out my comic. I write, my friend Red draws. Comments welcome. Leave them on their, or on my profile here.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Food Lady View Post
                  I sent a link to this thread to my mom and her response was "Can I have a square in every color??????????????" LOL
                  So do you need help hiding the body?
                  How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Soulstealer View Post
                    So do you need help hiding the body?
                    I thought it was hilarious. It's now one of our frequent jokes. Gotta say--I love CS.
                    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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                    • #11
                      Quoth flutes_and_fabric View Post
                      So this lady comes up with a bolt of rather expensive fabric. Apparently she's on a scavenger hunt and needs a bandana.
                      If she wanted a bandana for a scavenger hunt, why the hell didn't she just buy a pre-made one?! I mean, that makes absolutely no sense at all! And to assume that someone who cuts fabric for a living doesn't know what a square is is just beyond preposterous.

                      The thing about fabric stores is, 95% of the customers know what the hell they're doing, or at least have the decency to admit if they need help. The other 5%...yikes. They assume any idiot can sew and you can just "whip it together", they can't understand why the silk velvet is so much more expensive than the cotton muslin, they just plain don't have a clue and can't be bothered to ask. Between "SQUARE!" woman, CFL and the pattern idiot, I wonder how you keep your sanity there.
                      Last edited by XCashier; 07-18-2009, 02:54 PM.
                      I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                      My LiveJournal
                      A page we can all agree with!

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                      • #12
                        Quoth flutes_and_fabric View Post
                        So this lady comes up with a bolt of rather expensive fabric. Apparently she's on a scavenger hunt and needs a bandana.
                        I first read that as "She's on a scavenger hunt and needs a BANANA"... I thought to myself "What, she's an ape??" after reading the story I realize I shouldn't compare her to poor apes.
                        I pet animals, I rescue insects, I hug trees.

                        "I picture the lead singer of Gwar screaming 'People of Japan, look at my balls! My swinging pendulous balls!!!'" -- Khyras

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Red_Dazes View Post
                          You should have offered her the square....


                          Dammit! My husband came running downstairs because he thought I'd hurt myself.

                          That first post just made my head hurt. I would have been sooo tempted to cut out a one inch square and tell her I was done.

                          And you'd think since we sell one basic product that wouldn't happen to us, but it does.

                          "My demo is putting extra characters in the [output]. I need a license!"

                          "I'll be happy to give you a quote. Do you a need single-user license or a multi-user license?"

                          "It says I need a lic-ense!"



                          If they keep that crap up for too long I just give 'em a quote for 20-user license. The sticker shock usually knocks them out of the loop they're stuck in.
                          Last edited by Dips; 07-23-2009, 11:37 PM.
                          The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

                          The stupid is strong with this one.

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                          • #14
                            Now, now, don't hate the squares. A square is just a rhombus with special needs.

                            <Ducks thrown protractors and graphing calculators>
                            The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                            "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                            Hoc spatio locantur.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Geek King View Post
                              Now, now, don't hate the squares. A square is just a rhombus with special needs.
                              Ugh. I'm surprised nobody smacked you in the circles for that one
                              Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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