It is Thursday. On Tuesday I go on holiday. Such joy one cannot describe. I have not had a holiday longer than three consecutive days since 2007. It is not an exaggeration to say that I have been whistling a merry tune for the best part of a fortnight in anticipation of a week of relaxation with my significant other. Assuming he finds his passport in time…
Anyway, my glow of happiness was slightly dented this morning when a brand spanking new author rang up. Uber Boss (who is at home today, potentially with Swine Flu, but more likely a bad case of ‘comfybeditis’) commissioned it a few months back and this morning the manuscript arrived by special delivery (often a bad sign when authors treat their book like their first-born). I fear I may have been a little sharp with him...
At 8.54 (six minutes before I am paid to give a damn) New Author (NA) rings me up. Italics are my thoughts.
NA: Hello, is that BookBint?
BB: Never pick up the phone, never pick up the phone... Yes it is.
NA: This is New Author. I am ringing to see if my manuscript arrived.
BB: Yes it did, it's sitting in front of me now.
NA: Excellent, now tell me, what do you think of it?
BB: Um... well, it arrived approximately seven minutes ago, so I haven't looked it yet. Doof
NA: Well when will you get on to it?
BB: WTF? Who are you, the Editing Enforcer TM? Well since it's a November title we will be starting the edit almost right away.
NA: Good, good. And what type of edit will you be doing?
BB: Back seat editor. Type? Lemon-flavoured? Well I am on holiday from next week so that will be up to Uber Boss or CW.
NA: What? But won't you be dealing with it? Didn't you do the contract?
BB: Yes I did, but I imagine UberBoss won't want to wait for me to come back to start the edit.
NA: Well I think you should have scheduled your time off a little better! Didn't you know you had an important manuscript coming in?
BB: Sir, I have three or four books coming in a week. If I thought like that I wouldn't be able to schedule a holiday for the rest of my working life. Approximately 41 years.
Anyway, my glow of happiness was slightly dented this morning when a brand spanking new author rang up. Uber Boss (who is at home today, potentially with Swine Flu, but more likely a bad case of ‘comfybeditis’) commissioned it a few months back and this morning the manuscript arrived by special delivery (often a bad sign when authors treat their book like their first-born). I fear I may have been a little sharp with him...
At 8.54 (six minutes before I am paid to give a damn) New Author (NA) rings me up. Italics are my thoughts.
NA: Hello, is that BookBint?
BB: Never pick up the phone, never pick up the phone... Yes it is.
NA: This is New Author. I am ringing to see if my manuscript arrived.
BB: Yes it did, it's sitting in front of me now.
NA: Excellent, now tell me, what do you think of it?
BB: Um... well, it arrived approximately seven minutes ago, so I haven't looked it yet. Doof
NA: Well when will you get on to it?
BB: WTF? Who are you, the Editing Enforcer TM? Well since it's a November title we will be starting the edit almost right away.
NA: Good, good. And what type of edit will you be doing?
BB: Back seat editor. Type? Lemon-flavoured? Well I am on holiday from next week so that will be up to Uber Boss or CW.
NA: What? But won't you be dealing with it? Didn't you do the contract?
BB: Yes I did, but I imagine UberBoss won't want to wait for me to come back to start the edit.
NA: Well I think you should have scheduled your time off a little better! Didn't you know you had an important manuscript coming in?
BB: Sir, I have three or four books coming in a week. If I thought like that I wouldn't be able to schedule a holiday for the rest of my working life. Approximately 41 years.
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