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Been a while since you heard from me, hasn't it?
I've been holding down my usual job at the grocery store, and it seems like I can't even spend my days off without hassle. I'll talk about those first.
No, I work at the OTHER red polo place.
I got off work early one day and Mom asked if I wanted to accompany her to Target. I said fine, she picked me up and we went. I was still in uniform, mind you, and the HEB uniform is a red polo shirt and nametag (we can wear jeans or slacks with it) with a big 'ol logo on the front.
We get to Target, and five people thought I worked there because I had a red shirt on. It didn't matter that it said HEB on it in huge letters. I obviously worked at Target. Most of them were nice about the misunderstanding and apologized, I laughed it off, they were no big deal. But jeez, people, learn to read!
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So...you're saying I can't shop in a grocery store because I work here?
After work one day I realize I need groceries, so I put my nametag in my pocket (no nametag is a sign to managers that means 'I'm off duty') and I get a cart. I'm walking through the aisles and a few people come up with questions. Usually it's just where stuff is located, and I point them on their way, no big deal.
However, one person saw me and said, 'Hey, are you working now?' I go, 'No, I'm doing my grocery shopping, I'm off work right now.' Person scowls and says, 'You know, you really shouldn't be shopping. It looks unprofessional.'
I was shocked. 'Excuse me? My employers are not paying me, I need food just like everyone else, I am perfectly able to shop where I like.' Person goes, 'You'll be sorry.' and storms off. In checkout, my manager rings me up and goes, 'So a lady came up and complained about you shopping while off the clock.'
'And?'
Manager grins. 'I only pretended to care. You learn a lot of that in this job.'
I love my manager.
---
Okay, now onto the work stories.
But I want the deal MY way!
We're having a meal deal this week where if you buy a rotisserie chicken (around $6.99 or so) you get a large box of macaroni and cheese and a 2-liter Dr. Pepper for free. Not a bad deal, right? A lot of people have been buying it with no problem, but I get a lot of people who just don't get it.
One woman didn't understand she had to buy the whole chicken to get the deal. She tried to buy just leg quarters instead. (It actually costed more than the chicken with the deal. What the fuck?)
Several people couldn't understand why they couldn't buy the chicken on their foodstamp card. Hot Deli Food is no longer allowed on TX foodstamp cards. It has been this way since December of 08, perhaps even further back. I'm not knocking anyone on government assistance, but you've had a long time to know that you can't buy it.
And I can't change it for you either, so don't ask. And it's also not my fault. Write your congressman.
---
You mean I have to PAY for my food???
I got a lady who came to my line with an empty soda bottle and I swear to all that is holy, she said this:
'I already drank it before I came up to the register, so I don't have to pay for it, right?'
It took all my strength not to laugh at her. Yeah, we're having a contest to see if you can chug your soda before we check you out. She seemed genuinely surprised that she had to pay, but she did.
---
Jokes? Oh, I get it! I get jokes.
A guy comes up to my line and asks me a question about the seafood department. He goes, 'Do you serve crabs?'
I grin and go, 'We serve anybody!'
He starts laughing, which is nice, but he keeps laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world, when it was just a pun...it creeped me out, to be honest, and some of the customers went to another line.
----
So, uh....yeah. That's about it.
I've been holding down my usual job at the grocery store, and it seems like I can't even spend my days off without hassle. I'll talk about those first.
No, I work at the OTHER red polo place.
I got off work early one day and Mom asked if I wanted to accompany her to Target. I said fine, she picked me up and we went. I was still in uniform, mind you, and the HEB uniform is a red polo shirt and nametag (we can wear jeans or slacks with it) with a big 'ol logo on the front.
We get to Target, and five people thought I worked there because I had a red shirt on. It didn't matter that it said HEB on it in huge letters. I obviously worked at Target. Most of them were nice about the misunderstanding and apologized, I laughed it off, they were no big deal. But jeez, people, learn to read!
---
So...you're saying I can't shop in a grocery store because I work here?
After work one day I realize I need groceries, so I put my nametag in my pocket (no nametag is a sign to managers that means 'I'm off duty') and I get a cart. I'm walking through the aisles and a few people come up with questions. Usually it's just where stuff is located, and I point them on their way, no big deal.
However, one person saw me and said, 'Hey, are you working now?' I go, 'No, I'm doing my grocery shopping, I'm off work right now.' Person scowls and says, 'You know, you really shouldn't be shopping. It looks unprofessional.'
I was shocked. 'Excuse me? My employers are not paying me, I need food just like everyone else, I am perfectly able to shop where I like.' Person goes, 'You'll be sorry.' and storms off. In checkout, my manager rings me up and goes, 'So a lady came up and complained about you shopping while off the clock.'
'And?'
Manager grins. 'I only pretended to care. You learn a lot of that in this job.'
I love my manager.
---
Okay, now onto the work stories.
But I want the deal MY way!
We're having a meal deal this week where if you buy a rotisserie chicken (around $6.99 or so) you get a large box of macaroni and cheese and a 2-liter Dr. Pepper for free. Not a bad deal, right? A lot of people have been buying it with no problem, but I get a lot of people who just don't get it.
One woman didn't understand she had to buy the whole chicken to get the deal. She tried to buy just leg quarters instead. (It actually costed more than the chicken with the deal. What the fuck?)
Several people couldn't understand why they couldn't buy the chicken on their foodstamp card. Hot Deli Food is no longer allowed on TX foodstamp cards. It has been this way since December of 08, perhaps even further back. I'm not knocking anyone on government assistance, but you've had a long time to know that you can't buy it.
And I can't change it for you either, so don't ask. And it's also not my fault. Write your congressman.
---
You mean I have to PAY for my food???
I got a lady who came to my line with an empty soda bottle and I swear to all that is holy, she said this:
'I already drank it before I came up to the register, so I don't have to pay for it, right?'
It took all my strength not to laugh at her. Yeah, we're having a contest to see if you can chug your soda before we check you out. She seemed genuinely surprised that she had to pay, but she did.
---
Jokes? Oh, I get it! I get jokes.
A guy comes up to my line and asks me a question about the seafood department. He goes, 'Do you serve crabs?'
I grin and go, 'We serve anybody!'
He starts laughing, which is nice, but he keeps laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world, when it was just a pun...it creeped me out, to be honest, and some of the customers went to another line.
----
So, uh....yeah. That's about it.
Don't forget to hide the body. 
)
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