Tweet
I don't work in retail anymore - but my husband does. 
He manages one of the local, uh, Transistor Huts. DTV customers aside, most of the people that wander in there are perfectly civil.
I'm always in there helping out by putting stock away or cleaning since they're about 3 staff members short right now. Last week I was helping put out the latest shipment. Mr. Skeen was on the phone with the internet people trying to see when their service would be restored (the whole strip mall was down), and the new kid was helping a really sweet young kid find a power adapter.
A car pulls up out front and an older man and his wife get out. You know how sometimes you can just look at someone and tell they're going to be trouble? That's how this guy looked. Anyway, Mr. Skeen finishes up his phonecall and helps the guy within 10 seconds of him being in the store. This is pretty much the coversation:
Sucky Old Guy: "Yeah, I called about 30 minutes ago."
Mr. Skeen: "Ah, you wanted the phone line coupler."
SOG: ::grunts::
MS: "Well, they're all back here in the parts drawers. Let me show you."
::He takes SOG and SOG's wife to the back of the store. I go one aisle over to put product away and am very near the new kid and his customer.::
MS: "Here we go. What are you trying to connect?"
SOG: (Here's where I have no idea what he was talking about.)
MS: "This is the one you need then." ::gives SOG the part::
SOG: "Is it waterproof? It has to be waterproof!!!eleventy!"
MS: ::confused stare for a minute:: "I don't believe any of our phone couplers are tested to be waterproof, sir. These are all meant to be used indoors."
SOG: "WHAT?!!!!?!! I called you on the goddamned phone thirty goddamned minutes ago and you told me you had the goddamned part!!"
MS: "And I do. It's right here."
SOG: "Don't lie to me! That's not waterproof! It's not what I need! I called you on the goddamned phone!"
SOG's WIFE: "He called you. You said you had the part."
MS: "I do have the part. It's not waterproof. If you'd said you needed a waterproof part, I would have told you we don't have one. You'll have to call the phone company and see what they say."
SOG: "We drove all the way here from Coweta (about 15 minutes, ooh!) and you lied to me!"
The old guy is like throwing his arms upin the air and getting up in my husband's face about it. Mr. Skeen never bats an eyelash. This goes on for a few minutes. The new kid and I are trying not to make a scene by laughing at the guy's histrionics, but it's getting hard to do. The young customer looks like he's about to poop himself. SOG finally decided yelling isn't going to get him his magical waterproof part so he leaves, all the while yelling.
SOG: "You should know your product better! You should be ashamed of yourself making us come all the way out here!
MS: "Sir, I assure you, I know my products. Have a nice night." ::has mentally already moved on to other things::
SOG: "You do NOT know your products! You should know them!... You JET SCIENTIST!"
Well, new kid and I lost it. We're rolling on the floor, tears, the whole bit. The young customer is even laughing.
We're not even half done laughing when the guy storms back in. "I NEED TO KNOW WHO YOUR MANAGER IS!" He didn't look happy when Mr. Skeen told him HE'S the manager.
So, now we have a new general use store insult, as in, "Damn, Matt! Get those price tags up, you stupid jet scientist!" or "Well, it doesn't take a jet scientist to figure that out."
He manages one of the local, uh, Transistor Huts. DTV customers aside, most of the people that wander in there are perfectly civil. I'm always in there helping out by putting stock away or cleaning since they're about 3 staff members short right now. Last week I was helping put out the latest shipment. Mr. Skeen was on the phone with the internet people trying to see when their service would be restored (the whole strip mall was down), and the new kid was helping a really sweet young kid find a power adapter.
A car pulls up out front and an older man and his wife get out. You know how sometimes you can just look at someone and tell they're going to be trouble? That's how this guy looked. Anyway, Mr. Skeen finishes up his phonecall and helps the guy within 10 seconds of him being in the store. This is pretty much the coversation:
Sucky Old Guy: "Yeah, I called about 30 minutes ago."
Mr. Skeen: "Ah, you wanted the phone line coupler."
SOG: ::grunts::
MS: "Well, they're all back here in the parts drawers. Let me show you."
::He takes SOG and SOG's wife to the back of the store. I go one aisle over to put product away and am very near the new kid and his customer.::
MS: "Here we go. What are you trying to connect?"
SOG: (Here's where I have no idea what he was talking about.)
MS: "This is the one you need then." ::gives SOG the part::
SOG: "Is it waterproof? It has to be waterproof!!!eleventy!"
MS: ::confused stare for a minute:: "I don't believe any of our phone couplers are tested to be waterproof, sir. These are all meant to be used indoors."
SOG: "WHAT?!!!!?!! I called you on the goddamned phone thirty goddamned minutes ago and you told me you had the goddamned part!!"
MS: "And I do. It's right here."
SOG: "Don't lie to me! That's not waterproof! It's not what I need! I called you on the goddamned phone!"
SOG's WIFE: "He called you. You said you had the part."
MS: "I do have the part. It's not waterproof. If you'd said you needed a waterproof part, I would have told you we don't have one. You'll have to call the phone company and see what they say."
SOG: "We drove all the way here from Coweta (about 15 minutes, ooh!) and you lied to me!"
The old guy is like throwing his arms upin the air and getting up in my husband's face about it. Mr. Skeen never bats an eyelash. This goes on for a few minutes. The new kid and I are trying not to make a scene by laughing at the guy's histrionics, but it's getting hard to do. The young customer looks like he's about to poop himself. SOG finally decided yelling isn't going to get him his magical waterproof part so he leaves, all the while yelling.
SOG: "You should know your product better! You should be ashamed of yourself making us come all the way out here!
MS: "Sir, I assure you, I know my products. Have a nice night." ::has mentally already moved on to other things::
SOG: "You do NOT know your products! You should know them!... You JET SCIENTIST!"
Well, new kid and I lost it. We're rolling on the floor, tears, the whole bit. The young customer is even laughing.
We're not even half done laughing when the guy storms back in. "I NEED TO KNOW WHO YOUR MANAGER IS!" He didn't look happy when Mr. Skeen told him HE'S the manager.
So, now we have a new general use store insult, as in, "Damn, Matt! Get those price tags up, you stupid jet scientist!" or "Well, it doesn't take a jet scientist to figure that out."
Would you kiss your momma with that mouth?!? (then stare pointedly at the wife 
)
Comment