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The burrito warrior reminded me of this story. Friend of mine used to work at a Denny's during the night shift. Mostly it was drunks and insomniacs, but she got her fair share of crazies as well.
One crazy man we'll call Mr. Kleenix. Why you ask? Well, Mr. Kleenix was homeless, and wore dirty overalls over a tshirt, and a jacket if it was cold. He had stringy hair, a nasty beard, and two kleenix boxes stuffed under his shirt. They were his "boobs." Not kidding. Not kleenix, the WHOLE boxes. Seriously.
Ususally, Mr. Kleenix would come in, have some toast or pancakes or something with money he got from wherever, then he'd wander off into the night. Well on one particular night, he did his normal eating thing, then on his way out the door, my friend and a co-worker of hers noticed him pause next to a small ornamental shrub outside by the sidwalk. He cocked his head sideways at it, then suddenly took it in a bear hug and yanked it out of the ground. He then hauled ass off the property.
My friend and her co-worker were perplexed, but called the police anyway. Mr. Kleenix was found running like hell down the street. When stopped, he declared that he'd "comfiscated this wacky-tabbacy plant" and was on his way to the downtown police station to turn it in. Apparently he thought the folks at Denny's were selling it on the side or something. The police managed to wrestle him into the car and tried to convince him the bush was just a bush. They drove him back to Denny's and made him return the plant, though Mr. Kleenix was still indignant that it was a "wacky-tobbacy" plant and he couldn't understand why the police didn't see it. The police took Mr. Kleenix away, and I'm unsure if he was charged with anything, or if they just took him to the local homeless shelter to get some sleep.
In the end, the bush was re-planted and is doing fine. It also, incidently, looked NOTHING like a pot bush, so that was the real amusing part of the whole thing.
Anyways, that was my crazy-person story.
One crazy man we'll call Mr. Kleenix. Why you ask? Well, Mr. Kleenix was homeless, and wore dirty overalls over a tshirt, and a jacket if it was cold. He had stringy hair, a nasty beard, and two kleenix boxes stuffed under his shirt. They were his "boobs." Not kidding. Not kleenix, the WHOLE boxes. Seriously.
Ususally, Mr. Kleenix would come in, have some toast or pancakes or something with money he got from wherever, then he'd wander off into the night. Well on one particular night, he did his normal eating thing, then on his way out the door, my friend and a co-worker of hers noticed him pause next to a small ornamental shrub outside by the sidwalk. He cocked his head sideways at it, then suddenly took it in a bear hug and yanked it out of the ground. He then hauled ass off the property.
My friend and her co-worker were perplexed, but called the police anyway. Mr. Kleenix was found running like hell down the street. When stopped, he declared that he'd "comfiscated this wacky-tabbacy plant" and was on his way to the downtown police station to turn it in. Apparently he thought the folks at Denny's were selling it on the side or something. The police managed to wrestle him into the car and tried to convince him the bush was just a bush. They drove him back to Denny's and made him return the plant, though Mr. Kleenix was still indignant that it was a "wacky-tobbacy" plant and he couldn't understand why the police didn't see it. The police took Mr. Kleenix away, and I'm unsure if he was charged with anything, or if they just took him to the local homeless shelter to get some sleep.
In the end, the bush was re-planted and is doing fine. It also, incidently, looked NOTHING like a pot bush, so that was the real amusing part of the whole thing.
Anyways, that was my crazy-person story.
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