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Creeps, Freaks, and Thieves...In Textbook Hell...
I think I've discovered a new circle of hell the last few days. Seriously. It's like the 42nd circle of hell... >.< I got all the strange and crazies!
Er...not very bright for a would be thief, are you...?
Guy comes in. Guy grabs copy of newspaper and very blatantly puts it in front of his face and hustles to the textbook section. I intercept, ask if I can help. What follows is a very painful 20 minutes of him very blatantly trying to force me to leave him alone and me being peppy and cheerful and oh-so-helpful. Included are tidbits of the following.
Me: All right, and what can I help you find, sir?
Him: Nothing! Go away!
Me:
Him: Just go stand on the other side of the store, and I'll call you if I want you.
OR
Me: All right well, <goes into spiel about textbooks for incoming freshmen because he claims he has a son who's starting this fall. This spiel includes a few deals>
Him: All right, now go away!
Me: <Wanders off, but not far, I have a cart of books to shelf. I wander back down that aisle to shelf books and he turns, startled>
Him: I said go away! I'll call you if I need you!
Me: sir, I'm putting books away, I'm doing my job...
Him: Do it in another aisle!
Me: <Thinking: Oh, yeah, that's not suspicious at ALL...>
Mind you, aside from him coming in suspiciously, AND the fact that he was wearing a shirt 7 sizes too big for him, (Generally, people will slide a book into the waistband of their pants, and walk out. People wearing huge clothing always get a second look, regardless of gender or race, etc.) I had the niggling feeling he was familiar.
And then my CW walked in to clock in and saw me craning to keep an eye on him while running another transaction for another customer. She offered to take over, then commented:
CW: Hey...isn't that the guy you turfed for hiding a book under his jacket on one side, then showing you the empty side and screaming you're a racist bitch??
Me:
Is it...? <Takes a second look> It is
I page the manager, explain the situation, and we go approach the would be thief.
Me: Sir, you have to leave our store, you've been banned.
Him: No I haven't!
Me: Yes, you have. I banned you...
Him: Lying racist bitch!
Me: <To MOD> Yep, definitely him.
MOD: You. Out. Now.
Him: Racist bastard!
MOD: You leave now, and never come back. <He has his cell phone out> And now the police are going to know you're never allowed in here again.
Aaaaand, he leaves, cursing and ranting...
Farking panhandlers...
We had a few customers come in complaining about a woman panhandling in the parking lot. I mean REALLY aggressive panhandling. As in, she pounds on their car windows and won't let them get out while she's demanding money.
We tell her to GTFO of our parking lot. She leaves. She comes back. We call cops, she scurries out, screaming at us. But she keeps coming back! Guess she's not really an SC, but she's causing customers to bitch at us because she's out there. Fun times.
We turfed her one last time, after another call to the police. And I watched her leave the parking lot because there were customers going to their car. She proceeds to go out to the streets, step into traffic until a car stops, and proceeds to pound on their window, demanding money...
We called the police again after that. Well, my managers did. I figured, why interfere with Darwin...?
No money, no goods. Period. End of story.
Scruffy, zoned out guy shuffles in. Shuffles to drink cooler. Grabs a bottle of juice, brings to register. We ring him up. Tell him total.
Him: I don't have money.
CW:
Me:
Him: I can have it though?
CW: Er...no. NO money, no juice, sorry...
Him: I can have it!
Me: I'm sorry, sir, but if you can't pay for it, we can't just give it to you.
Him: Can I have candy instead?
CW: No!
Him: <Huffs and gives CBF> You fucking suck!
Me: Sir, please leave now...
Him: You SUCK! <He storms out, and shuffles off to the Domino's Pizza next door. To try the same ruse, I presume...>
You don't get a discount!
Two ladies came in with two children. One in a stroller, one about 3 or so. Stroller child keeps shrieking her head off. I mean, it's a wail of "I'm in agony, DO SOMETHING!", and the women completely ignore her as they scavenge the clearance section. Every 2 minutes, screaming child. >.<
They grab their goods and come up to the registers, and haul out a shirt they want to exchange. Of course, they have no receipt. CW explains that we can't do anything without a receipt, so they immediately demand a manager. MOD gives the ok for an exchange, but it MUST be at equal or greater value of the current retail price. Their clearance items are less, so since we're not giving any credit, they have to go find something to add to what their buying.
They bring up more shirts, clearanced for $5. Ring up, the difference is around $10. Then it gets really fun. I'm standing off to the side, working on another project. Also, mind you, throughout the entire exchange, the child is STILL shrieking at odd intervals, and completely ignored by both women...
SC1: And how much is that with our discount?
CW: what discount?
SC2: The alumni discount!
CW: Do you have your alumni card?
SC2: NO! They NEVER ask us for it, just give us the discount!
CW: <Going through their purchases.> Actually, these are all clearance items, there is no extra discount on those.
SC1: But you did it for us last time!
CW: I'm sorry, but we literally can't take a discount in the computer on clearance items.
SC1: But SHE did it for us the other day! <Points to me>
Me: <blinky blinky> Uh...what...?
SC2: Yes, she gave us the alumni discount on the shirts over here!
Me: Huh? I'm sorry, i dont' remember serving you, ma'am.
SC1: You did!
SC2: AND you gave us a DISCOUNT! WITHOUT any stupid alumni card AND on clearance stuff!
CW: Ma'am, if these items WERE on clearance, then all sales are final, regardless, so I couldn't exchange them for anything you have today.
SC1: No, they're not clearance, but we did get a discount!
SC2: And we didn't need an alumni card.
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, but without the alumni card, we don't give a discount. Store policy.
SC2: But you did it LAST time.
Me: <Hides the smirk, hides the smirk!!> Well, ma'am, if you had your receipt showing the discount, and who served you, we could help, but as it stands, I can only stand by CW and what he, and the manager say. Sorry!
They eventually paid and left, grumbling the entire time. And the poor child was still shrieking... >.>
Phone time fun!
Yay...incoming freshmen (AND parents!) calling about textbooks already...joy...
#1:
SC: I'm on your website trying to order books and they're saying Na.
Me: Na? I'm sorry, I'm not sure what that means...
SC: It's spelled N-line-A.
Me: ....ma'am, that means "not available" meaning we don't have any stock in the store, so they're unavailable for purchase at the moment.
SC: So, I can order them...?
Me:
#2:
SC: Hi, I'm trying to get some information on books?
Me: Sure, how can I help?
SC: I'm taking these classes. Can you tell me what books are being used?
Me: Sure! <I go through the process.>
SC: Uh huh, great, and can you give me the IBC numbers?
Me: The wha...?? <I know she means ISBNs, but still...wha...? Mmm...root beer...>
SC: You know, the numbers so I can order them online!
Me: ...ma'am, I can't give that information over the phone, it's store policy.
SC: But I don't want to purchase them from you!
Me: And, with all due respect ma'am, I'm not going to give you the information required so you don't have to buy from us.
SC: <Huffs and demands a manager. I pass the phone to a random manager, and upon hearing the explanation, they with me...I didn't get in trouble, though. Yay me!>
#3:
SC: Uh, hi, I'm on your website, trying to order books?
Me: Ok...and, how can I help you today?
SC: Well...I click on order, and then it asks me for a CC. Do I HAVE to pay for my son's books before I get them.
Me: ... ... ...
SC: Hello?!?!
Me: Um...yes, ma'am, we can't ship the books until we get payment for them...
SC: <Huffs> Well, can't I just send a check once I get them?
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, it doesn't work that way...
SC: Well that's just too damned inconvenient!! <click>
CW: Huh...?
Bonus first thing this morning!
I get to work and there's a body lying on the sidewalk near the Domino's Pizza next door. I pass it as I'm walking inside, and morning manager asks me if it looked like they were breathing. I don't know. Apparently this person has been there since manager got there at 6 am that morning. She didn't know what to do. Idjit coworker showed up a little before I did and started hypothesizing it was a dead body, and we should call the morgue. Right...
We did call the police. They came and verified that it was female, and yes, she was still alive. They poked at her. They shook her. And she didn't wake up. It took THREE blasts from their sirens to wake her up. They told her she couldn't sleep on the sidewalk, and she had to go home. She nods and agrees. Then proceeds to walk to our doors...and lie down directly in front of the door, after flipping us off.
Police tell her she HAS to leave. She grumbles and shuffles off. Police leave, and she shuffles back. This time, she lies down directly in our parking lot next to manager's car.
Oy...
We call the police again, and thankfully, a cruiser was still nearby. They came back and literally followed her out of the parking lot, down the street, etc, until she was gone and was sure she wasn't coming back.
<BIG SIGH>
And those were just the big incidents occurring in the last THREE DAYS. Holy cow...doesn't include the random incidents of suck.
Er...not very bright for a would be thief, are you...?
Guy comes in. Guy grabs copy of newspaper and very blatantly puts it in front of his face and hustles to the textbook section. I intercept, ask if I can help. What follows is a very painful 20 minutes of him very blatantly trying to force me to leave him alone and me being peppy and cheerful and oh-so-helpful. Included are tidbits of the following.
Me: All right, and what can I help you find, sir?
Him: Nothing! Go away!
Me:
Him: Just go stand on the other side of the store, and I'll call you if I want you.
OR
Me: All right well, <goes into spiel about textbooks for incoming freshmen because he claims he has a son who's starting this fall. This spiel includes a few deals>
Him: All right, now go away!
Me: <Wanders off, but not far, I have a cart of books to shelf. I wander back down that aisle to shelf books and he turns, startled>
Him: I said go away! I'll call you if I need you!
Me: sir, I'm putting books away, I'm doing my job...
Him: Do it in another aisle!
Me: <Thinking: Oh, yeah, that's not suspicious at ALL...>
Mind you, aside from him coming in suspiciously, AND the fact that he was wearing a shirt 7 sizes too big for him, (Generally, people will slide a book into the waistband of their pants, and walk out. People wearing huge clothing always get a second look, regardless of gender or race, etc.) I had the niggling feeling he was familiar.
And then my CW walked in to clock in and saw me craning to keep an eye on him while running another transaction for another customer. She offered to take over, then commented:
CW: Hey...isn't that the guy you turfed for hiding a book under his jacket on one side, then showing you the empty side and screaming you're a racist bitch??
Me:
Is it...? <Takes a second look> It isI page the manager, explain the situation, and we go approach the would be thief.
Me: Sir, you have to leave our store, you've been banned.
Him: No I haven't!
Me: Yes, you have. I banned you...
Him: Lying racist bitch!
Me: <To MOD> Yep, definitely him.
MOD: You. Out. Now.
Him: Racist bastard!
MOD: You leave now, and never come back. <He has his cell phone out> And now the police are going to know you're never allowed in here again.
Aaaaand, he leaves, cursing and ranting...
Farking panhandlers...
We had a few customers come in complaining about a woman panhandling in the parking lot. I mean REALLY aggressive panhandling. As in, she pounds on their car windows and won't let them get out while she's demanding money.
We tell her to GTFO of our parking lot. She leaves. She comes back. We call cops, she scurries out, screaming at us. But she keeps coming back! Guess she's not really an SC, but she's causing customers to bitch at us because she's out there. Fun times.
We turfed her one last time, after another call to the police. And I watched her leave the parking lot because there were customers going to their car. She proceeds to go out to the streets, step into traffic until a car stops, and proceeds to pound on their window, demanding money...
We called the police again after that. Well, my managers did. I figured, why interfere with Darwin...?
No money, no goods. Period. End of story.
Scruffy, zoned out guy shuffles in. Shuffles to drink cooler. Grabs a bottle of juice, brings to register. We ring him up. Tell him total.
Him: I don't have money.
CW:
Me:
Him: I can have it though?
CW: Er...no. NO money, no juice, sorry...
Him: I can have it!
Me: I'm sorry, sir, but if you can't pay for it, we can't just give it to you.
Him: Can I have candy instead?
CW: No!
Him: <Huffs and gives CBF> You fucking suck!
Me: Sir, please leave now...
Him: You SUCK! <He storms out, and shuffles off to the Domino's Pizza next door. To try the same ruse, I presume...>
You don't get a discount!
Two ladies came in with two children. One in a stroller, one about 3 or so. Stroller child keeps shrieking her head off. I mean, it's a wail of "I'm in agony, DO SOMETHING!", and the women completely ignore her as they scavenge the clearance section. Every 2 minutes, screaming child. >.<
They grab their goods and come up to the registers, and haul out a shirt they want to exchange. Of course, they have no receipt. CW explains that we can't do anything without a receipt, so they immediately demand a manager. MOD gives the ok for an exchange, but it MUST be at equal or greater value of the current retail price. Their clearance items are less, so since we're not giving any credit, they have to go find something to add to what their buying.
They bring up more shirts, clearanced for $5. Ring up, the difference is around $10. Then it gets really fun. I'm standing off to the side, working on another project. Also, mind you, throughout the entire exchange, the child is STILL shrieking at odd intervals, and completely ignored by both women...
SC1: And how much is that with our discount?
CW: what discount?
SC2: The alumni discount!
CW: Do you have your alumni card?
SC2: NO! They NEVER ask us for it, just give us the discount!
CW: <Going through their purchases.> Actually, these are all clearance items, there is no extra discount on those.
SC1: But you did it for us last time!
CW: I'm sorry, but we literally can't take a discount in the computer on clearance items.
SC1: But SHE did it for us the other day! <Points to me>
Me: <blinky blinky> Uh...what...?
SC2: Yes, she gave us the alumni discount on the shirts over here!
Me: Huh? I'm sorry, i dont' remember serving you, ma'am.
SC1: You did!
SC2: AND you gave us a DISCOUNT! WITHOUT any stupid alumni card AND on clearance stuff!
CW: Ma'am, if these items WERE on clearance, then all sales are final, regardless, so I couldn't exchange them for anything you have today.
SC1: No, they're not clearance, but we did get a discount!
SC2: And we didn't need an alumni card.
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, but without the alumni card, we don't give a discount. Store policy.
SC2: But you did it LAST time.
Me: <Hides the smirk, hides the smirk!!> Well, ma'am, if you had your receipt showing the discount, and who served you, we could help, but as it stands, I can only stand by CW and what he, and the manager say. Sorry!
They eventually paid and left, grumbling the entire time. And the poor child was still shrieking... >.>
Phone time fun!
Yay...incoming freshmen (AND parents!) calling about textbooks already...joy...
#1:
SC: I'm on your website trying to order books and they're saying Na.
Me: Na? I'm sorry, I'm not sure what that means...
SC: It's spelled N-line-A.
Me: ....ma'am, that means "not available" meaning we don't have any stock in the store, so they're unavailable for purchase at the moment.
SC: So, I can order them...?
Me:
#2:
SC: Hi, I'm trying to get some information on books?
Me: Sure, how can I help?
SC: I'm taking these classes. Can you tell me what books are being used?
Me: Sure! <I go through the process.>
SC: Uh huh, great, and can you give me the IBC numbers?
Me: The wha...?? <I know she means ISBNs, but still...wha...? Mmm...root beer...>
SC: You know, the numbers so I can order them online!
Me: ...ma'am, I can't give that information over the phone, it's store policy.
SC: But I don't want to purchase them from you!
Me: And, with all due respect ma'am, I'm not going to give you the information required so you don't have to buy from us.
SC: <Huffs and demands a manager. I pass the phone to a random manager, and upon hearing the explanation, they
with me...I didn't get in trouble, though. Yay me!>#3:
SC: Uh, hi, I'm on your website, trying to order books?
Me: Ok...and, how can I help you today?
SC: Well...I click on order, and then it asks me for a CC. Do I HAVE to pay for my son's books before I get them.
Me: ... ... ...
SC: Hello?!?!
Me: Um...yes, ma'am, we can't ship the books until we get payment for them...
SC: <Huffs> Well, can't I just send a check once I get them?
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, it doesn't work that way...
SC: Well that's just too damned inconvenient!! <click>
CW:
Huh...?Bonus first thing this morning!
I get to work and there's a body lying on the sidewalk near the Domino's Pizza next door. I pass it as I'm walking inside, and morning manager asks me if it looked like they were breathing. I don't know. Apparently this person has been there since manager got there at 6 am that morning. She didn't know what to do. Idjit coworker showed up a little before I did and started hypothesizing it was a dead body, and we should call the morgue. Right...
We did call the police. They came and verified that it was female, and yes, she was still alive. They poked at her. They shook her. And she didn't wake up. It took THREE blasts from their sirens to wake her up. They told her she couldn't sleep on the sidewalk, and she had to go home. She nods and agrees. Then proceeds to walk to our doors...and lie down directly in front of the door, after flipping us off.
Police tell her she HAS to leave. She grumbles and shuffles off. Police leave, and she shuffles back. This time, she lies down directly in our parking lot next to manager's car.
Oy...
We call the police again, and thankfully, a cruiser was still nearby. They came back and literally followed her out of the parking lot, down the street, etc, until she was gone and was sure she wasn't coming back.
<BIG SIGH>
And those were just the big incidents occurring in the last THREE DAYS. Holy cow...doesn't include the random incidents of suck.
Scratch that, it actually happened twice. 
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