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If you weren't such a ^#@%# I'd be more inclined to be nice.
So, another day at the green apron, getting so close to the end of my shift that I don't even mind the hole in my shoe, the aching in my feet, or the constant dinging of the drive-thru alert in my ear giving me a headache. An older lady comes up to the lobby register, and I figure, 'Hey, I'll take her, easy, quick, and no prob. then I'll go back to taking orders at the drive thru'. Ah, but as they say, if that were the case I would not be posting here.
Me: Howdy....kill me. Please?
OB: Old bi...bitty.
OB: I want to put $5 on my card. *throws her keys at me*
Me: Ok. *wonders why we made key-chain sized cards for these creeps. Oh yeah! Because the suits don't have to deal with people throwing money at them, so why would they IMAGINE that they'd throw keys at us...Anyway, do that, easy peasy*
OB: Alright, now I want this *flops salad on the counter* and decaf with soy.
Me: *Oh boy, here comes the fun.* Sorry, but we stop brewing decaf after noon. *Don't ask me why, the suits are in-mother fracking-sane*
OB: What?! I go to green apron stores all over, and they all manage to make decaf for me!
Me: *And now you're dead. Pulling out the "other people do it for me card" AND the "you're an imbecile" tone of voice. Any nice thing I may have done for you is no longer an option. But, just to save my own ass I will give you this:* Well, I can brew a quarter batch, but since another batch is almost done brewing it will take about 5 or 6 minutes.
OB: I JUST got out of the hospital for a caffeinated blahblahblah *kinda' zoned her out. hehe* so what do you expect me to do?!
Me: *inner sigh and repeat above spiel*
OB: Well the, I guess that's what we're gonna have to do.
Me: *Do...not...call...her...a...bitch...to...her....f ace* Anything else?
OB: No. *takes off the lid to her dingy coffee cup*
Me: *rings it up. Now, I ring it up as a coffee in a personal cup*
OB: What?! It's never that expensive!!1!111 I told you it's a refill! I went to another green apron store this morning *It is now 2 p.m* and so it's a refill!!!
Me: Sorry, but company policy says that you have to be here in the store within the hour, and then it's a refill. *Completely true. Now, if someone is nice I will give them the refill price, no worries. But for her, to hell with her.*
OB: WHAT?! No, I'm a travelling nurse *Bullcrap. I forget exactly what it is you do as a profession, but what you are is another story* and I go to blahblahblahblahblah *Yeah, I did it again. Aint' I a stinker
* and I ALWAYS get the refill price!
Me: Well, that's the policy they gave us.
OB: Well...*about ready to pop by the looks of it* if that's the way you want to do it, just cancel the whole thing!!!
Me: Ok. *Deletes the order. She stares at me, pissed and a little flabbergasted. I guess she expected me to cave in, get on my knees, and kiss her feet. 3 years ago, maybe. But now, no way in Hell.*
OB: And, you know what, *looks a little triumphant* I want your name!
Me: MorningChaser. *And then she deflates. I'm not sure if she was expecting me to quiver and wail in fear, but I suppose my quiet disinterest was not what she expected*
And so, the harpy sat at one of our tables and used our wi-fi. She came over the check the total on her green apron card, I'm supposing to make sure she had enough to be on it or to make sure I didn't somehow miraculously charge her for something.
For a while I was kinda' supercharged, but my nerves are easily rattled since I'm not used to having a backbone. I just refuse to be talked to like I'm a complete and utter moron when I've been doing the exact same thing for 3 years. I will not act nicely to you when you decide to attempt to make me your whipping boy, nor will I become your subserviant tool because you threaten to write in about me. Go right on ahead. I follwed company policies, I never raised my voice to you, and I wasn't sarcastic, mean, or nasty at all in my tone of voice (which anyone who knows me can tell you is nearly impossible when I'm in a good mood
).
Ah, but yes, just had to get that off of my chest.
Me: Howdy....kill me. Please?
OB: Old bi...bitty.
OB: I want to put $5 on my card. *throws her keys at me*
Me: Ok. *wonders why we made key-chain sized cards for these creeps. Oh yeah! Because the suits don't have to deal with people throwing money at them, so why would they IMAGINE that they'd throw keys at us...Anyway, do that, easy peasy*
OB: Alright, now I want this *flops salad on the counter* and decaf with soy.
Me: *Oh boy, here comes the fun.* Sorry, but we stop brewing decaf after noon. *Don't ask me why, the suits are in-mother fracking-sane*
OB: What?! I go to green apron stores all over, and they all manage to make decaf for me!
Me: *And now you're dead. Pulling out the "other people do it for me card" AND the "you're an imbecile" tone of voice. Any nice thing I may have done for you is no longer an option. But, just to save my own ass I will give you this:* Well, I can brew a quarter batch, but since another batch is almost done brewing it will take about 5 or 6 minutes.
OB: I JUST got out of the hospital for a caffeinated blahblahblah *kinda' zoned her out. hehe* so what do you expect me to do?!
Me: *inner sigh and repeat above spiel*
OB: Well the, I guess that's what we're gonna have to do.
Me: *Do...not...call...her...a...bitch...to...her....f ace* Anything else?
OB: No. *takes off the lid to her dingy coffee cup*
Me: *rings it up. Now, I ring it up as a coffee in a personal cup*
OB: What?! It's never that expensive!!1!111 I told you it's a refill! I went to another green apron store this morning *It is now 2 p.m* and so it's a refill!!!
Me: Sorry, but company policy says that you have to be here in the store within the hour, and then it's a refill. *Completely true. Now, if someone is nice I will give them the refill price, no worries. But for her, to hell with her.*
OB: WHAT?! No, I'm a travelling nurse *Bullcrap. I forget exactly what it is you do as a profession, but what you are is another story* and I go to blahblahblahblahblah *Yeah, I did it again. Aint' I a stinker
* and I ALWAYS get the refill price!Me: Well, that's the policy they gave us.
OB: Well...*about ready to pop by the looks of it* if that's the way you want to do it, just cancel the whole thing!!!
Me: Ok. *Deletes the order. She stares at me, pissed and a little flabbergasted. I guess she expected me to cave in, get on my knees, and kiss her feet. 3 years ago, maybe. But now, no way in Hell.*
OB: And, you know what, *looks a little triumphant* I want your name!
Me: MorningChaser. *And then she deflates. I'm not sure if she was expecting me to quiver and wail in fear, but I suppose my quiet disinterest was not what she expected*
And so, the harpy sat at one of our tables and used our wi-fi. She came over the check the total on her green apron card, I'm supposing to make sure she had enough to be on it or to make sure I didn't somehow miraculously charge her for something.
For a while I was kinda' supercharged, but my nerves are easily rattled since I'm not used to having a backbone. I just refuse to be talked to like I'm a complete and utter moron when I've been doing the exact same thing for 3 years. I will not act nicely to you when you decide to attempt to make me your whipping boy, nor will I become your subserviant tool because you threaten to write in about me. Go right on ahead. I follwed company policies, I never raised my voice to you, and I wasn't sarcastic, mean, or nasty at all in my tone of voice (which anyone who knows me can tell you is nearly impossible when I'm in a good mood
). Ah, but yes, just had to get that off of my chest.
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