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As previously mentioned in some of my threads, I have a friend who I call 'Sarah' who works at a supermarket. I've been saving up a few of her delightful experiences which she emparts to me over large alcoholic beverages, since none are really long enough to merit their own thread.
The Durex Fairy
Sarah is working checkout and is scanning through a middle-aged man's items. The last item is a large dispenser of Durex play gel. For those who like their sex a little stickier. He winks at her and says 'wouldn't you like to know?' Surprisingly enough, she didn't.
Bananarama
Old lady purchases a bunch of bananas. She gets her change, then peers into her carrier bag, looks at Sarah suspiciously, and says 'if you stole one of my bananas I'll call MI5' and wanders off in a state of old-lady mentalness.
If the Sock Fits
Sarah gets a call to deal with an 'issue' in clothing. Finds a guy sitting on the floor with several multipacks of socks opened and trying them on. He didn't quite get the concept that you couldn't try on socks like shoes, and was eventually escorted from the building.
'Lil Licker
She was forced to call for security when she couldn't make a woman stop her child from picking up apples and licking them, and then replacing them for unsuspecting customers to buy. Apparently saying 'don't you tell me how to raise my child!' is a valid response.
Satanic Blockbuster
While stacking DVDs she was cornered by a religious zelot who wanted her to tell him the plots of all the latest releases so he could figure out if they glorified Satan.
Not in Front of the Children!
Watched in horror as a couple at her checkout went from sniping at each other to screaming and threatening divorce. They were asked to leave when the wife took a swing at the husband.
The Durex Fairy
Sarah is working checkout and is scanning through a middle-aged man's items. The last item is a large dispenser of Durex play gel. For those who like their sex a little stickier. He winks at her and says 'wouldn't you like to know?' Surprisingly enough, she didn't.
Bananarama
Old lady purchases a bunch of bananas. She gets her change, then peers into her carrier bag, looks at Sarah suspiciously, and says 'if you stole one of my bananas I'll call MI5' and wanders off in a state of old-lady mentalness.
If the Sock Fits
Sarah gets a call to deal with an 'issue' in clothing. Finds a guy sitting on the floor with several multipacks of socks opened and trying them on. He didn't quite get the concept that you couldn't try on socks like shoes, and was eventually escorted from the building.
'Lil Licker
She was forced to call for security when she couldn't make a woman stop her child from picking up apples and licking them, and then replacing them for unsuspecting customers to buy. Apparently saying 'don't you tell me how to raise my child!' is a valid response.
Satanic Blockbuster
While stacking DVDs she was cornered by a religious zelot who wanted her to tell him the plots of all the latest releases so he could figure out if they glorified Satan.
Not in Front of the Children!
Watched in horror as a couple at her checkout went from sniping at each other to screaming and threatening divorce. They were asked to leave when the wife took a swing at the husband.
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