grrrrr

[EricKei]

EW: Hello, Dave? I paid very good money to come here and get away from the big city, but now my vacation is RUINED! There's just too damn much NATURE here! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!

[bunnyboy]

Did he come into the place to look for Gideon's bible?

NO... but he had come, equipped with a gun to shoot off the legs of his rival.

[Sonoma]

EW: Hello, Dave? I paid very good money to come here and get away from the big city, but now my vacation is RUINED! There's just too damn much NATURE here! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!

Next thing you know, they'll be calling to complain that the nature is 'too dirty'. All that muck & grime, someone should get out there to clean that up....of course, there was the request to rake the beach, so maybe it has already happened.

[calulu]

Dave, I'm laughing here. We stayed this week in a vacation rental and my mother was making a list, MAKING A LIST, of all the crap she was disappointed in. I tried to talk her out of it but she was insistent. If you get an older lady complaining about her luxury beachside condo smelling like shrimp with a semi working dryer and possessing broken boogie boards don't blame me, I tried to stop her ass....

[Ironclad Alibi]

Guest: yes Dave, I wanted to report I saw a racoon on the bike trail here

Dave: That's terrible. There's supposed an oppossum down there today.

[LillFilly]

Oh My Gods! There's Nature...in my Nature! Compensate me Rawrawrrawr!

Where do these people come from???

And I'm sure you get the ones who complain that they DIDN'T see any animals!

[Shironu-Akaineko]

Oh My Gods! There's Nature...in my Nature!

Yo Dawg, I herd you like Nature so we put a nature in your nature so you can nature while you nature!

sorry, too much 4chan.

[protege]

Uh, the bike trail is outside, correct? In, like, nature 'n stuff? How can you let raccoons out there? They could get rampant stupidity or something from the tourists.

Edited for my amusement

Seriously though, this sounds *exactly* like some of the people here. They move out by the airport, and bitch about the loud planes. They move to the country, and then get upset when critters eat their plants.

As long as the 'coon isn't doing anything, why is it even an issue? Rabid 'coons act differently than normal ones. That is, they don't run from humans. Instead, they're rather aggressive

[elsporko]

That reminds me of the time I was told their was a rattle snake on the walking trail. I know it wasn't a rattle snake, they don't live in the U.P. I told them this. They then asked me what I was going to do about it. I'm not going to do anything about it. Its a snake in the woods. How is anybody even suppose to find it? Now a bear, I'll call sombody when you see a bear.

[cinema guy]

Dave, I'm laughing here. We stayed this week in a vacation rental and my mother was making a list, MAKING A LIST, .... and possessing broken boogie boards don't blame me, I tried to stop her ass....

What are boogie boards?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Guest: yes Dave, I wanted to report I saw a racoon on the bike trail here

Dave: That's terrible. There's supposed an oppossum down there today.

Really. His head would have exploded if I'd answered the phone. He would have told me he'd seen a racoon and I probably would have said "Really? Cool!"

[Broomjockey]

What are boogie boards?

They're sorta like really short surf boards that you lie down on, I think. That's how I've always understood them, anyways. Similar to flutterboards used to help teach people to swim.

[tropicsgoddess]

Welcome to "Earworms 'R' Us"

We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine

And still those voices are calling from faaaaaaaaar awaaaaay. Wake you up in the middle of the night just to hear them saaay "Welcome to the Hotel California!" Such a lovely place, such a lovely face. Plenty of room at the Hotel California. What a nice surprise, with your alibis. Now THERE'S your earworm!

[mikoyan29]

Really. His head would have exploded if I'd answered the phone. He would have told me he'd seen a racoon and I probably would have said "Really? Cool!"

Or you could ask if he was carrying a Gideon's Bible....

Oh wait...did I use that already...?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

HA!

How I wish we could go back in time and have the OP say that to him!