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Khiras climbs out of his hole...and weeps

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  • Khiras climbs out of his hole...and weeps

    Been a while! I have had quite the month...been so busy and stressed, there wasn't even enough time to write...or I was too tired to write That said, I've had a few doozies.

    Restaurant Ailments...

    SC: I want to make a reservation for your (busy Christmas-time event that sells out a year in advance EVERY YEAR)
    Me: Ok ma'am, unfortunately all of our (event) seatings are fully booked at this time.
    SC: What!?
    Me: We start reserving them every year on January 2nd, 99% of the seatings are reserved on that day.
    SC: But that's not FAIR! I don't know when people will come see me!

    It's not fair? FAIR!? To quote Walter, who's the farking Nihilist here!? How in the shit is this unfair? The people who called FIRST and RESERVED the spots shouldn't get it because you can't make plans, then, I don't know, invite some goddamned friends along? Or at least a man whore or something? I don't think you understand the concept of fair, or at least "fair" as much as I care for the word.

    Fair is me not giving a shit that you don't make plans when the 900 people who made reservations on January 2nd did. Get over it.

    Ok...OK...OK!!!!!

    Me: And your first name?
    SC: Rodolfo. R-O-D-O-L-F-O
    Me: ok-
    SC: R-O-D-O-L-F-O
    Me: Ok, s-
    SC: R-O-D-O-L-F-O

    Seriously, stop it! I got it the first time, I really got it the second time, and I honestly started to wonder the third time. Did someone have to slap you to get the needle to stop skipping? Unless your name is honestly Rodolfo Rodolfo Rodolfo, in which case kill your parents, you're being a jackass. Granted, I am quite dumbed down by talking to you and the other parasites that speak to me over the phone on a daily basis, but I still thing I can manage to identify a damn name on the first try.

    Hello, Police?

    Me: The rates for that room will be $$$ tonight.
    SC: Ok... (in the background) Is $$$ okay?
    SC2: Do whatever you damn want, woman.
    SC: Oh no you... (to me) ...Sorry, I'm gonna have to call you back, motha f*&^er's 'bout to get his ass whipped.

    Oh, please, could you pull around to the corner where I can see you from my window? I haven't seen a good Hobo fight this week, but you sound juuuuust classy enough to qualify, and I want to see what weight class you're in.

    Spoiler, I bet it's not featherweight. Or "Not-Hooker".

    /sigh

    Me: Alright, what type of credit card would you like to use?
    SC: A debit card.
    Me: Ooookaaaay, what type of debit card?
    SC: *angry sigh* It's a DEBITUH CARDUH (enunciated just like that).
    Me: ...What...type...of...debit...card!?
    SC: *yelling* There is no TYPE, damnit! IT'S A DEBIT CARD!!!
    Me: Sir...look at the front of the card. Does it say Visa, Mastercard, Discover, or American Express!?
    SC: Jesus, it's a goddamned debit card!!! There is no "TYPE"!!!
    SC's Friend: (in the background) Dude, what the hell?
    SC: He doesn't understand what the hell a debit card is, he keeps asking what type.
    SC's Friend: Uh, that's because it says f*&^ing "VISA" on the front of it, f&^%tard.
    SC: Oh...uh...ah hell, ain't that some shit...

    Yeah, ain't that some shit? You know what buddy, fuck you. You sat there screaming into the damn phone, looking like a jackass in front of your pals, and what do I get from you after you finally realize you're an idiot?

    SC: Oh, it's a Visa.

    Fuck you! How about "I'm sorry for being such a collosal douchebag"? "I'm sorry for screaming at you because I'm stupid"? "I'm sorry I'm still breathing, or that I ever started"? You've lost my favor, flesh sack. Leave your eyes, tongue, and epidermis at the door, you have been kicked out of the party. Don't forget your helmet before you get on the bus, though I'm not sure it matters...as far as I can tell, another shot to the head certainly couldn't make you dumber than you already are.

    Congratulations

    I was covering the Operator station a couple times recently, so I was the one transferring calls...and we're busy as all hell in reservations, so naturally with me not in there, there's fewer people and calls are backing up. So I get this moron.

    SC: This is the third time I've called, I want to talk to reservations!
    Me: Ok sir...
    SC: You keep connecting me, the last 2 times I've sat on hold for 10 minutes, and no one picked up!
    Me: Sir, our reservations are receiving a very high call volume at the moment. I can connect you again, but there may still be a delay, but by hanging up it will start you at the end of the queue again.
    SC: *SIGH* Fine, connect me again.

    There should be a law; anyone dumb enough to hang up, call back, complain about the wait, then get put into the line again...TWICE...should just be drawn and quartered. Imagine waiting in line at your favorite restaurant. Then, right as you get near the front of the line, you run to the back, roll around in the poop, then get into the back of the line and complain how long the wait is. Would you do that? No, because anyone reading this isn't a waste of skin, and I'm sure you all have brain cells. IN YOUR BRAINS!

    Reservations Boy, however, will just continue rolling around in the poop all day long. Where is the poop from?

    You'd rather not know.

    Seriously?

    This is a co-worker rant, because it just bugs the hell out of me. One of my jobs at the hotel is working e-mail stuff, since I'm quick at it...so every person who sends e-mails about reservations gets directed to Yours Truly, Dr. Smartass. Now, most of the time, I give about as much of a shit as someone would give to a small piece of lint in their belly button. That said, sometimes I do actually care, because hell, I didn't have my nightly shot of bourbon and bitterness last night or something. Who knows.

    So, I get this e-mail from a Senior Staff Sergeant stationed in Iraq...she's coming back home, and wants to spend a nice trip with her boyfriend. They get the WORKS...nice room, meals, champagne service, spa massages, EVERYTHING. I happily set it up for her because I'm a softy like that, and I'd like someone in the Military to get to come here for a nice relax, no problem. I spend 1 month...36 days actually...trading e-mails, setting up the stay, and generally making sure everything's perfect. Here's the rundown:

    Friday they arrive. They go to dinner, and spend the night. Saturday, they get breakfast, mess around town, go to the spa that evening, and come back to rose petals, champagne, and strawberries in their room.

    I'm off Friday, but I get in on Saturday and there's an e-mail...everything's gone wrong with the details so far. The rose petals/champagne/strawberries got delivered on Friday, because idiots can't read the amenity requests, and they delivered it on the wrong day. I spend 4 hours calling employees left and right...we comp the room service and housekeeping. We set everything up. I make sure that EVERYONE in the damn hotel knows this stuff is getting delivered at 7:00pm to 7:20pm that night, no exceptions, and it's free, damnit. Done, right?

    NO! They get the stuff right at least, but after they leave...they get their bill. The room service wasn't comped because the front desk guy forgot to do it! AWESOME!!! I spend another hour going through their bill bit by bit, picking it apart, then spend 20 more minutes with accounting refunding them the money correctly.

    The upside? I'm apparently this woman's hero...she sent the best letter I've gotten in years in thanks for everything that we did to make sure their 2nd night was perfect. I'm such a softie sometimes...but god I hate the ineptitude cannons when they start firing around me...


    That's about all...I have an entire month's worth of BS, but I'm too tired to write it all now, maybe next time Uncle Khiras, OUT!

    Oh, and PS, these people are really making me Crazy. Not like "Oh he's so crazy!"

    As in, "We the people find the defendant..."
    Last edited by KhirasHY; 08-18-2009, 02:27 AM.
    "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
    "What IS fun to fight through?"
    "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

  • #2
    Uncle Khiras, I was wondering where you were. Welcome Home.

    As for the debt card idjit...I bet anything his friends are going to be ribbing him for that for about the next week.

    Comment


    • #3
      Welcome! We missed you. As for the last story, I'm so glad you're this woman's hero. If customers knew the amount of running around and chaos that went on behind the scenes...well the company would probably look pretty bad.
      A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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      • #4
        Poor Khiras. We missed you. Don't disappear because you don't think the latest idiocy is worth reporting.
        Labor boards have info on local laws for free
        HR believes the first person in the door
        Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
        Document everything
        CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

        Comment


        • #5
          There's some good news, though. Your case of Nunavut seems to have cleared up. I'd say that that's a good thing. Right?
          Low lie the Fields of Athenry/ Where once we watched the small free birds fly/ Our love was on the wing/ we had dreams and songs to sing/ It's so lonely around the Fields of Athenry

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          • #6
            Khiras, I picked up an ice cream maker at a yard sale this spring. Would some homemade Baileys ice cream make you feel better?

            What colour is the sky in your world and how high of a dosage do you need before it turns back to blue? --Gravekeeper

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            • #7
              Quoth mharbourgirl View Post
              Khiras, I picked up an ice cream maker at a yard sale this spring. Would some homemade Baileys ice cream make you feel better?

              *drools* Waaaaaaaaant.....
              "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
              "What IS fun to fight through?"
              "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

              Comment


              • #8
                That Bailey's ice cream would go great with a slice of fresh rhubarb pie. I'll go get you one.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I love how the debit card guy got pwned by his buddy. I'd bet you anything he'd been drinking.

                  As for your coworkers slam, I feel you on that. I've gottent to the point where, if something is important enough, I take whatever measures necessary to do it myself to guarantee it won't get fucked up. It amazes me how some people can bungle up even the easiest of tasks.
                  "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

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                  • #10
                    Quoth KhirasHY View Post

                    Oh, and PS, these people are really making me Crazy. Not like "Oh he's so crazy!"

                    As in, "We the people find the defendant..."
                    Well.. maybe "NGI" if you're really crazy.
                    I will never go to school!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      *sends the chocolate dipped shortbread to go with the homemade ice cream*

                      Seriously, that kind of stupid is hazardous to your health.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        *sets up the jacuzzi and some calming music*

                        I can also provide backrubs.

                        And fuzzy things.

                        Or a punching bag.

                        Whatever your desire. *bows*
                        "FUCK NO I DON'T WANT YOUR FREAKY ALIEN MOTHERSHIP ORANGES. " - Cookiesaur
                        ~~

                        Munkie's NaNo WC: 9648

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Munkie View Post
                          I can also provide backrubs.

                          And fuzzy things.
                          I can provide both at the same time.

                          Rapscallion

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Welcome back, Uncle Khiras.

                            I think it was several levels of awesome what you did for that SSG and her b/f . . .so I'm sending a virtual bottle of Herding Cats Chenin Blanc/Chardonnay blend.


                            Enjoy it in good health.
                            Attached Files
                            Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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                            • #15
                              Your case of Nunavut seems to have cleared up. I'd say that that's a good thing. Right?
                              they have a cure for that? is it a pill, cream or powder med? i'm sure gravekeeper would be interested in this cure (although, his would need to be xtra super sized)...

                              welcome back, uncle; here's a burbon, hot tub, massage and chippendale's private review for your pains.
                              look! it's ghengis khan!
                              Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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