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  • My Dear Customers

    ...I am well aware that you have found yourself in desperate need of a bathroom. The fact that you obviously waited until the VERY last moment to search out that blissful relief only the porcelain god can bring is in no way my fault. Perhaps that Slurpee was just TOO much... or maybe that Indian food was just too spicy... or perhaps you (being a full grown man) have forgotten your mother's good advice of "Go before you leave the house". Whatever your stupid reasons may be for the need of a bathroom... there is really nothing I can do to change the fact that our bathroom is BROKEN. I cannot make it work, I will not unlock the door, and I promise that I have not closed it out of some well hidden malicious streak towards you personally or anyone else.

    I do not have any other bathroom for YOU to use... there is one for ME to use... but you may not seat your ass upon it's cool plastic round, nor may your child... no matter how frantic his potty dance is... that is an EMPLOYEE ONLY area. NO POO FOR YOU!

    Trust me, while it does bring me some sadistic glee to tell people that their bowels will find no relief in my REALM, after about an hour I want that bathroom working as much as you do... if for no other reason that it would SHUT YOU THE FUCK UP!

    Thank you very much... Now go shoot yourself in the foot!
    RED



    *sighs* I'm really pissed at our bathroom right now... it just keeps breaking....
    "I'm not smiling because I'm happy. I'm smiling because every time I blink your head explodes!"
    -Red

  • #2
    After having been reading all the poopy fitting room stories on here, I'm slightly afraid for you in the fitting room! Here's hoping that no one decides to take it out (literally!) on you guys!
    Now, if you smell the roses but it doesn't lift your spirits, you're either allergic to rose pollen or you need medical intervention. ~ Seshat

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    • #3
      At the hotel, we do not have a public bathroom, since, of course, every room that we rent has it's own bathroom.

      But, since we're open 24/7, every night I get several people, who are not guests, wandering in, asking to use the facilities.

      One guy I recently denied service to tried to argue with me about it: "But what am I supposed to do?" 'I don't know, go home and use your own bathroom?' "But I'm on my way to my friends place" 'Oh, ok then. Use your friends bathroom when you get there.'

      Oh, whats that? You need to piss because you just had 30 drinks at the bar? Guess what? The bar has bathrooms, go there.

      Every time I have relented and let someone use the staff washroom, I've regreted it. The uber-hot 20-ish chick, in the company of 3 other uber-hot 20-ish chicks, shortly after closing time? She left her heroin needle in the sink.

      The cop who very politely asked to use the can shortly before 6 am? I have no idea what the hell he ate, but it took 2 days to clear out the stench.

      Never again.
      Aliterate : A person who is capable of reading but unwilling to do so.

      "A man who does not read has no advantage over a man who cannot" - Mark Twain

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      • #4
        Quoth infinitemonkies View Post

        Every time I have relented and let someone use the staff washroom, I've regreted it. The uber-hot 20-ish chick, in the company of 3 other uber-hot 20-ish chicks, shortly after closing time? She left her heroin needle in the sink.

        The cop who very politely asked to use the can shortly before 6 am? I have no idea what the hell he ate, but it took 2 days to clear out the stench.
        that could have been so much worse had the two happened right after each other
        If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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        • #5
          Quoth Spork4pedro View Post
          After having been reading all the poopy fitting room stories on here, I'm slightly afraid for you in the fitting room! Here's hoping that no one decides to take it out (literally!) on you guys!
          ...Oh believe me... I have stories.... *shudders* ... I just don't wish to re-live them any time soon....
          "I'm not smiling because I'm happy. I'm smiling because every time I blink your head explodes!"
          -Red

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