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I've had a whole gaggle of SCs recently, which hopefully will at least amuse someone.
One or two amuse me now, too soon for some of the fresh ones.
I work at a spa as an attendant/receptionist. So I clean and beautify the spa then handle the customers when it gets too busy for the real front desk girls.
Screamy McScreamerton
This lady was a hassle from the minute she came into the spa. She had a party of 8 people with her and she wanted everyone to be able to use the facilities to get ready and go out for the night. She had probably a grand worth of treatments booked, so the managers let it happen.
From the get go, nothing was good enough for her. We didn't have curling irons?! No makeup brushes?! It was like a peasants spa!
The real problem came when she was getting ready to leave. I walk into the locker room to pick up some towels and she looks straight at me
"I can't find my CHANEL SUNGLASSES." At this point I don't know if she's accusing me of taking her glasses or if she wants my help, so I tread softly.
"Oh no! Goodness. Do you remember if you brought them out of your locker?"
"I SAW A STUPID BITCH LOOKING IN MY PURSE WHEN I WAS GETTING DRESSED!I EVEN ASKED HER IF SHE NEEDED HELP. FUCK! I KNOW SHE STOLE THEM. NICE FUCKING PLACE YOU'RE RUNNING HERE! NO AMENITIES! THIEVES RUNNING LOOSE! WTF!@42%%@#%#"
I'm not going to be screamed at and certainly not cursed at for literally no reason. I turn around to leave and I hear her daughter
"Mom. They're in the bottom of your purse."
Does she apologize? Of course not. Not a word. Pretends like it never happened.
Indecent exposure
There's a guy who comes in every Sunday. He always gets the day pass and spends three or four hours at the spa.
Each time he uses at LEAST 20 towels. How he manages I do not know or understand and if that was the only suck, I wouldn't really bother. The problem is he takes naps in our co-ed "relaxation" area, which is really just a glorified waiting room. He naps in his robe, also not much suckage. However, every time (at least 6 weeks in a row) he naps with his knee up and EVERY time I see this guys balls. Immediately when I notice I make a bunch of loud noise to try to wake him up and hopefully force himself to cover up.
6 weeks in a row?! I'm starting to think he's doing it on purpose, honestly.
Tattoo Convention
I love you tattoo convention. I wish you were there every week. I want to hug you and keep you in my pocket.
I was super excited that this convention was so close to my job (which lead to me doing some "marketing" over there, aka getting in for free). What really pleased me is that my coworkers ideas of heavily tattooed people were completely turned around. Every artist we got in was super intelligent and very kind, which most people who know about modification have come to expect out of people into the tattoo culture, but it's really foreign to people unfamiliar.
But this is not "the best customers in the world.com" and of course the suck doesn't come from any of these extraordinary tattooed people.
I came into work this morning and the receptionist fills me in on all of the people in the spa. right away she tells me that there's a man with a day pass and he's a total douche. Right outside the spa we have a gorgeous pool. This morning, they happen to be draining the pool because there was a broken glass found there and they need to be sure it's cleaned 150%. It's inconvenient, but understandable.
This man spent a good 10 minutes screaming at security, house keeping, and anyone in a uniform about how his entire vacation was ruined and how it needed to be filled immediately. After he realized he was getting nowhere, he then spends THREE HOURS out at the pool deck sunbathing. As he's walking back into the spa and he starts again, but he managed to piss me right off.
(imagine a bellowing man, because my shift key is getting tired)"It's these TATTOO freaks that are doing it! Who even let these FREAKS in?! They're getting drunk and they just don't care about anyone. They're OBVIOUSLY doing it on purpose" Five more minutes of ranting outside the door at the security guards wherein I make sure to hide my tattoos and flip up my septum piercing and rage internally.
He finally walks in "Sorry about that ladies."
Me in my best i-hate-you voice - "Not a problem, sir. I understand it's a frustration."
"It's MORE than a frustration. It's damned inconvenient and I don't know how something like that could happen!" he then scuttles into the locker room which is lucky, because if he had said something about those "freaks" to me I may not have taken it as lightly as security.
Oh. Good. You're insane
I'm going to try to keep this one brief, but it happened over the course of the day. Again that same receptionist tells me right when I walk in that we have a weirdo in the spa. Not a big deal, it happens a lot. When I come in for work, he's getting his first massage of two.
I didn't catch him before he left to the pool after that massage, but I talk to the massage therapist. The entire thing left her really shaken. He apparently spent the entire time talking about how he was in town to "take care" of some politicians and how he had spent a lot of time in jail and he knew that this time he would either be killed or go away forever. This is only drilled home by the huge number of scars across his body. He spends the entire 50 minutes going on like this, scaring the crap out of the therapist.
I take over the front desk for a little while and he saunters back in about 5 minutes before his second massage. He's not imposing, smaller than I am, but he looks an awful lot like charles manson and he's wearing his spa robe but no shoes.
"Welcome back! You're just in time for your second massage"
"Yeah. I'm just going to check out the steam room."
"Oh. Well, your therapist is waiting for you and she's booke-"
"I'm going to the steam room."
He walks off. Fine, not my money, you can run in a circle around the massage table the whole 50 minutes if you're paying for it. I don't care!
The second therapist comes out to talk to me after her turn with him. He carried on the same threatening way to talk. She's a tough 'ol broad so she wasn't as scared, but she knew that he had some serious issues.
He finally walks out and starts to leave.
"Excuse me sir, we need to settle your bill."
"The front desk will take care of it."
"I'm sorry, but we're not directly affiliated with the hotel, so I'll have to handle it up here."
"Listen. I'll just come back and take care of it."
Not what I wanted to hear, but at worst I'll charge it to the room and that will be the end of it.
Two hours late he comes back with a plastic bag. Inside the bag is a paper bag. He walks up to the desk very, very slowly.
"Great! Let me just get your account pulled up."
"Hold on. I have something for you."
He starts to reach into the paper bag. I don't know whether to reach for the phone and possibly freak him out or try to diffuse whatever the hell is about to happen.
"Oh.. what do you have there."
He pulls out some mexican peanut candy.
"Man.. this stuff is great. You have to try it."
WTF. wtfwtfwtf. I just thought I was going to die and now you, a stranger, are offering me unwrapped candy. Awesome. Then he says "Oh. This too." And he pulls out $200 in 50s. "This is for the girls in the back *slides two 50s*" "This is for you *slides two 50s*"
What just happened?!
He ends up charging it all to the room and booking 6 appointments for the next day, where he apparently pulls the same odd behavior. I was told he spent two of the massages just crying. .-.
One or two amuse me now, too soon for some of the fresh ones.
I work at a spa as an attendant/receptionist. So I clean and beautify the spa then handle the customers when it gets too busy for the real front desk girls.
Screamy McScreamerton
This lady was a hassle from the minute she came into the spa. She had a party of 8 people with her and she wanted everyone to be able to use the facilities to get ready and go out for the night. She had probably a grand worth of treatments booked, so the managers let it happen.
From the get go, nothing was good enough for her. We didn't have curling irons?! No makeup brushes?! It was like a peasants spa!
The real problem came when she was getting ready to leave. I walk into the locker room to pick up some towels and she looks straight at me
"I can't find my CHANEL SUNGLASSES." At this point I don't know if she's accusing me of taking her glasses or if she wants my help, so I tread softly.
"Oh no! Goodness. Do you remember if you brought them out of your locker?"
"I SAW A STUPID BITCH LOOKING IN MY PURSE WHEN I WAS GETTING DRESSED!I EVEN ASKED HER IF SHE NEEDED HELP. FUCK! I KNOW SHE STOLE THEM. NICE FUCKING PLACE YOU'RE RUNNING HERE! NO AMENITIES! THIEVES RUNNING LOOSE! WTF!@42%%@#%#"
I'm not going to be screamed at and certainly not cursed at for literally no reason. I turn around to leave and I hear her daughter
"Mom. They're in the bottom of your purse."
Does she apologize? Of course not. Not a word. Pretends like it never happened.
Indecent exposure
There's a guy who comes in every Sunday. He always gets the day pass and spends three or four hours at the spa.
Each time he uses at LEAST 20 towels. How he manages I do not know or understand and if that was the only suck, I wouldn't really bother. The problem is he takes naps in our co-ed "relaxation" area, which is really just a glorified waiting room. He naps in his robe, also not much suckage. However, every time (at least 6 weeks in a row) he naps with his knee up and EVERY time I see this guys balls. Immediately when I notice I make a bunch of loud noise to try to wake him up and hopefully force himself to cover up.
6 weeks in a row?! I'm starting to think he's doing it on purpose, honestly.
Tattoo Convention
I love you tattoo convention. I wish you were there every week. I want to hug you and keep you in my pocket.
I was super excited that this convention was so close to my job (which lead to me doing some "marketing" over there, aka getting in for free). What really pleased me is that my coworkers ideas of heavily tattooed people were completely turned around. Every artist we got in was super intelligent and very kind, which most people who know about modification have come to expect out of people into the tattoo culture, but it's really foreign to people unfamiliar.
But this is not "the best customers in the world.com" and of course the suck doesn't come from any of these extraordinary tattooed people.
I came into work this morning and the receptionist fills me in on all of the people in the spa. right away she tells me that there's a man with a day pass and he's a total douche. Right outside the spa we have a gorgeous pool. This morning, they happen to be draining the pool because there was a broken glass found there and they need to be sure it's cleaned 150%. It's inconvenient, but understandable.
This man spent a good 10 minutes screaming at security, house keeping, and anyone in a uniform about how his entire vacation was ruined and how it needed to be filled immediately. After he realized he was getting nowhere, he then spends THREE HOURS out at the pool deck sunbathing. As he's walking back into the spa and he starts again, but he managed to piss me right off.
(imagine a bellowing man, because my shift key is getting tired)"It's these TATTOO freaks that are doing it! Who even let these FREAKS in?! They're getting drunk and they just don't care about anyone. They're OBVIOUSLY doing it on purpose" Five more minutes of ranting outside the door at the security guards wherein I make sure to hide my tattoos and flip up my septum piercing and rage internally.
He finally walks in "Sorry about that ladies."
Me in my best i-hate-you voice - "Not a problem, sir. I understand it's a frustration."
"It's MORE than a frustration. It's damned inconvenient and I don't know how something like that could happen!" he then scuttles into the locker room which is lucky, because if he had said something about those "freaks" to me I may not have taken it as lightly as security.
Oh. Good. You're insane
I'm going to try to keep this one brief, but it happened over the course of the day. Again that same receptionist tells me right when I walk in that we have a weirdo in the spa. Not a big deal, it happens a lot. When I come in for work, he's getting his first massage of two.
I didn't catch him before he left to the pool after that massage, but I talk to the massage therapist. The entire thing left her really shaken. He apparently spent the entire time talking about how he was in town to "take care" of some politicians and how he had spent a lot of time in jail and he knew that this time he would either be killed or go away forever. This is only drilled home by the huge number of scars across his body. He spends the entire 50 minutes going on like this, scaring the crap out of the therapist.
I take over the front desk for a little while and he saunters back in about 5 minutes before his second massage. He's not imposing, smaller than I am, but he looks an awful lot like charles manson and he's wearing his spa robe but no shoes.
"Welcome back! You're just in time for your second massage"
"Yeah. I'm just going to check out the steam room."
"Oh. Well, your therapist is waiting for you and she's booke-"
"I'm going to the steam room."
He walks off. Fine, not my money, you can run in a circle around the massage table the whole 50 minutes if you're paying for it. I don't care!
The second therapist comes out to talk to me after her turn with him. He carried on the same threatening way to talk. She's a tough 'ol broad so she wasn't as scared, but she knew that he had some serious issues.
He finally walks out and starts to leave.
"Excuse me sir, we need to settle your bill."
"The front desk will take care of it."
"I'm sorry, but we're not directly affiliated with the hotel, so I'll have to handle it up here."
"Listen. I'll just come back and take care of it."
Not what I wanted to hear, but at worst I'll charge it to the room and that will be the end of it.
Two hours late he comes back with a plastic bag. Inside the bag is a paper bag. He walks up to the desk very, very slowly.
"Great! Let me just get your account pulled up."
"Hold on. I have something for you."
He starts to reach into the paper bag. I don't know whether to reach for the phone and possibly freak him out or try to diffuse whatever the hell is about to happen.
"Oh.. what do you have there."
He pulls out some mexican peanut candy.
"Man.. this stuff is great. You have to try it."
WTF. wtfwtfwtf. I just thought I was going to die and now you, a stranger, are offering me unwrapped candy. Awesome. Then he says "Oh. This too." And he pulls out $200 in 50s. "This is for the girls in the back *slides two 50s*" "This is for you *slides two 50s*"
What just happened?!
He ends up charging it all to the room and booking 6 appointments for the next day, where he apparently pulls the same odd behavior. I was told he spent two of the massages just crying. .-.
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