Plugging The Coldness Hole

[Gravekeeper]

ARGH! Excessive and unnecessary back story is one of my biggest pet peeves!

Amen. The only thing I hate more than back story, is a story that continues on after we have clearly completely whatever call, procedure or transaction they came for.

[EvilEmpryss]

First off, OMG. I hope they pay you enough for all that. If not (at the risk of losing out on the stories here) save them and publish them!

It sort of sounds like he was evading, as in, probably a squatter. Either that or he's just plain stooopid.

Illegally sublet, most likely. He rents from the guy with the lease, and if he gets caught, he's out on his ear with a police escort.

[MsCrankypants]

Wow. And here I thought my clients took the idiocy cake. Gravekeeper, I don't know how you do it. How do you stay sane??

[XCashier]

To coldness hole man, so what you're saying is that everytime you stuff the fridge so full that the coldness can't circulate, then the fridge gets too warm? Guess what, a new fridge would do the EXACT SAME THING!!!

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” -- Albert Einstein

[Dark Psion]

Last night I watched the movie Idiocracy and I thought, this isn't a comedy, someone has managed to film Gravekeeper's worst nightmares and made them into a movie. There's prostitutes and everything!

Maybe the people from this future are using the Crank-call Time Phone from South Park's future to call Gravekeeper so they can order hats....... in the future!

[LadyAndreca]

Illegally sublet, most likely. He rents from the guy with the lease, and if he gets caught, he's out on his ear with a police escort.

That's exactly what I was thinking. He's not supposed to be there, so he wanted you to just take an apartment number and not a name so he wouldn't get caught. Then he hoped you had the name of the apartment holder because he didn't know it off the top of his head.

Following that line of reasoning, he probably reeeeeeeally didn't want the property manager/maintenance out there to bust him and tried to repair a minor leak or something himself, but botched it. So he'd be furious at himself for messing up the job, and for doing something that could get him busted...and at GK for not helping him cover his ass.

[Jester]

This guy has been calling for 3 years, and it’s taken me this long to finally get him to listen to a word I say.

I've know my older sister for my entire 39 years, and she still doesn't listen to a word I say!

Me: “I’m afraid billing isn’t in till 8am pacific.”
SC: “Oh, I’m in Florida. What time is it there now?”
Me: “It’s 5am pacific currently.”
SC: “Ok….um………so….when should I try to call back?”
Me: “3 hours from now?”
SC: “………….........oooooh, ok.”

I pondered this call for some time, trying to figure out exactly how she had failed so miserably at tackling such a simplistic math problem. After much deliberation the only possible explanation I came up with is that she only has 7 fingers.

And even with 7 fingers, she should have been able to add THREE.

Oh, wait. 5 plus 3....shit, you have a point.

See, here I am thinking someone would think "five," then use their fingers to add three, as in "six, seven, eight." Silly me, I forgot that some people need their fingers for the entire equation.

Has that ever worked? Ever? In the history of goods and services? Omigawd you won’t pay for my stuff for me, I demand to see your manager? You’ll have to excuse my incredulity here, but I’m really having trouble figuring out how even the most primitive sloped forehead missing link of a person could possibly make that sort of argument with a straight face.

I don't have any trouble seeing someone make that argument. What pains me, though, is that I can easily picture some of the world's more jellyfish-like managers actually bowing to such idiocy and giving the "customer" what they wanted for free....for free.

And here I thought you were as jaded as myself. Tsk, tsk.

Me: "Ok, so what is your name please?"
SC: “I don’t know, probably written on my lease. I imagine it’s like Scott or something.”

Okay, I have four possibilities here.

1. As suggested, dude is illegally subletting the apartment from someone else and does not actually know the name of the guy he is illegally subletting from. Which makes him a fucking idiot.
2. He is the apartment's tenant, but for some reason he thinks you are asking for the landlord's name. Which makes him a fucking idiot who doesn't listen.
3. He is an extraterrestial alien secretly living on earth and can't be bothered to remember some essential parts of his cover identity...like, say, his earth name. Which makes him a fucking idiot alien.
4. He actually can't remember his own name. Which makes him a huge flaming fucking idiot. Sadly, this is the one I believe to be most likely.

Whoa, like, quit blocking my coldness hole man.

There are so many ways I could apply this to some dates I have had and some women I have known, it makes me unsure whether to laugh or cry.

Wow, GK. How you don't go ballistic and start killing left & right, I'll never know.

And if he ever does, I feel quite safe. Not only am I geographically across a freakin' continent from him (in both north-south and east-west senses), but I am also in a climate that would probably melt his Canadian blood.

She was calling from Florida, that explains everything.

There's a reason I refer to many of them as "Floridiots."

[Gravekeeper]

And if he ever does, I feel quite safe. Not only am I geographically across a freakin' continent from him (in both north-south and east-west senses), but I am also in a climate that would probably melt his Canadian blood.

Its true you know. We vacationed in Florida once when I was a kid. I think I made it about 3 days before I was confined to the hotel room, seared from head to toe. It sucked, I had to sleep in a chair because I couldn't lay down with the sunburns.

If you need to escape my inevitably reign of terror, fleeing south would indeed be your best bet. I would be delayed at least until I could employ warm blooded minions to send in my stead. ;p

[SG15Z]

Wow. And here I thought my clients took the idiocy cake. Gravekeeper, I don't know how you do it. How do you stay sane??

Who says he stays sane. Are any of us sane after what we go through?

[MoonChild2007]

Dude, your apartment is being flooded, and you're concerned about the order of the questions the phone guy is asking?! Where the hell are your priorities?! He knows what he is doing, you don't! Just follow his directions and he will help you!

The customer is probably exaggerating the whole mess. its probably just a small puddle and just being stupid just for fun. Believe me, some customers will make their cable issues this big deal and when we find solutions, they act dumb. And those customers whose priorities are stupid little things and refuse to look at the big picture, are the ones we should not be assisting.

I disgress, btw, it also imo depends on the urgency in the customers voice, too.
How was the customers tone, was it "this is serious" or was it just a "blah, who cares" tone.

[Devonian]

Plugging The Coldness Hole

...if you know what I mean?

[Mr Hero]

3. He is an extraterrestial alien secretly living on earth and can't be bothered to remember some essential parts of his cover identity...like, say, his earth name. Which makes him a fucking idiot alien.

These are the aliens that instead of carrying a copy of "To Serve Man" they carry around a catelog with the latest pink camo.