You are not a customer

[customersruinmylife]

We have had few really quiet days at the pub, it's been bliss! After the nightmare holiday weekend, all the customers must have spent their money, leaving us in peace. It has been that quiet, that it has been a real struggle finding things to do. We completed a load of odd jobs, gave the place a massive deep clean, and even did a touch of redecorating. But now it's getting to the end of the week and we have completely run out of things to do.

So I am in the middle of another really quiet shift. It is so quiet that I am sat on a stool behind the bar, reading a book, waiting for the customers to come to me. My peace is shattered by this lady, who came out of no where. She stormed up to the bar, and battered a glass down on the bar with such force, that I am amazed it didn't smash.

SC: I believe this glass belongs to YOU!!
Me: *completely startled* Wh...what??
SC: I found it!! On the street!! MY STREET!!
Me: Wh...what are you talking about?
SC: How clearer can I make this?!! YOUR glass was on MY street! It belongs to YOU and YOU are responsible for it!
Me: *I have finally composed myself* Lady, there are four pubs on this street alone, and there are two night clubs nearby, how do you know it didn't belong to one of them?
SC: It must be yours!!
Me: Well, for starters, it is not "mine", it does not belong to me personally, it might not belong to this pub, and lastly, so what? It was on your street. Someone must have snuck out with their drink and left it there.
SC: You are responsible for this!
Me: I am not. I suggest you talk to your neighbours and find out who put it there.
SC: It is YOUR...
Me: Oh just go away! I was having a nice quiet day until YOU came along.
SC: You can't talk to customers like that!
Me: You are not a customer. You haven't bought anything. Now go away.

I picked my book back up. She glared at me, and grunted.

SC: I am so writing a letter about YOU.

I love the fact I am leaving. I can finally say everything I've ever wanted to say to SC's.

[Catianna]

It must be nice to be able to do that. All I get to do is threaten to call over any wandering MPs where I work, although that has it's own reward. Good luck with your new job, hopefully the sucky customers won't follow you.

[tropicsgoddess]

Lucky you! Even if and when I leave I can't do that since all calls are recorded. Good luck with your new gig!

[mattm04]

I would have been tempted to grab it and forcefully throw it into the nearest trash can.

[Nyx]

WTF?! My neighbors throw garbage in my yard all the time. Maybe I should take the candy bars wrappers back to their factories and complain? And how the hell does she know it's a pubs glass and not something a neighbor bought?