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So, this one's from my hubby, originally posted to LiveJournal's customers_suck community. It's so damn tasty, I had to drag it over here:
I am having trouble writing this down, because I can't believe it. I cannot truly believe that this actually happened in my department. Well, I can believe it because I read this forum every day and archive copies of the juicier ones for my personal reading pleasure. It's just so...HOW? How can you be so...so...bah. Just read.
Recap: Former ELNK techie, former Kodak Dental techie, current web hosting company teching a legacy database since 06/06.
Important note: The legacy database was that of a company that was bought by Company in January 2006. The only person to come over from the old company is J below. I and my fellow co-workers are all of recent vintage; none of us has been here earlier than May.
Me: Me.
R: Dominican Co-worker
G: Fellow African-American Co-worker
J: Jamaican Supervisor
AssHat: Like it says, m'main man.
*ring*
R: *accented* Thank you for calling , this is R in Legacy Support speaking.
AssHat: *scream I can hear in my cube* I don't want to speak to no foreign n-----!!! Transfer me to a WHITE MAN!
R: I assure you, sir, that I am a fully qualified *click*
R: Damn -Me-, I think he has hung up on me.
We support bunch are mightily amused by this, as R is probably the most stiffly educated fellow to ever join us. Total starched shirt. We engage in joking about the obviously race-challenged asshat.
*ring*
G: Hey, this is -G- with support speaking. What can I do for you?
Please note that this is stated in almost full "gangsta" accent, as G is the original OG from the hoods of Atlanta. Or something. He's really just extremely laid back.
AssHat: Not another n------! TRANSFER ME TO A WHITE MAN!
G: Alright, sir, you can quit with the racist comments right now or the line will be disconnected.
AssHat: I don't talk with foreigners!
G: I'm not a foreigner. I was born right here in Atlanta, GA.
AssHat: THE LAST GUY COULDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH! I WON'T TALK WITH ANY N------ OR FORIEGNERS!
G: Not even an American black man who speaks English?
AssHat: A! WHITE! MAN!
G: One moment. Hold. *holds the dude* Yo, J, what should I do with this guy?
J: *chuckles* Give him to -Me-. He'll end up speaking to me anyway.
G: S'all you, -Me-.
Me: Right. Transfer.
*transferring occurs*
Me: Good afternoon, this is -Me- with Legacy -Company- Support. What domain or ticket number may I assist you with today?
AssHat: Finally, a WHITE man! You are a WHITE MAN, ain't you?
Me: That would be correct, sir. I am Caucasian.
AssHat: Don't get no fancy with me.
Me: I am definitely white, sir. What may I do for you today? Internal: White as bleach. Jaysus, what is your damage?
AssHat: I can't renew my domain name!
Me: What is the domain name, sir?
AssHat: iamaragingracistasshat.com
[snip] The story gets more normal here. Long story short, the domain has been expired for way over 90 days and was released to the public. Someone else [DomainDiscover] has snapped it up and is wanting to charge an exorbitant amount for him to buy it back. He doesn't want to pay, it was our fault the wrong contact email was on the WHOIS info, we should have called him, etc. Argument ensues. We won't pay for the domain to come back to him, he needs to negotiate that himself with the new [legit] owners of the domain. It was his responsibility to update the old information, yadda, yadda. It gets more an more heated. Finally:
AssHat: Get me a supervisor! NOW!
Me: Sir, my supervisor is-
AssHat: NOW!
Me: One moment, please. *hold* J...
J: Transfer him on over.
*transfery goodness*
J: *exaggerating Jamaican accent to the hilt* Goo' afternoon, sir, this is June-yer [name he goes by with customers], the manager of Legacy Support. Now what's the drama?
AssHat: *way audible* GODDAMIT! *click*
I blink a bit.
Me: J, uh, what should I put the notes under?
J: You'll find his main account under -blah-. He has several domains with us. Just put the notes in and don't worry about it. He used to call in before the merger; he did the same thing then. He won't call back for about six months or so. By then, the database merge will be complete and he'll only get the reps in Baggio [sp?; outsource in Philippines]. He'll never get up to our department again.
I put my notes in. I went on break and got some tea. And I am totally flabbergasted. W.T.F.? I shouldn't be surprised, considering what I read, but I am. Why hasn't he gotten shot yet?
Edit: BTW, yes, "what's the drama?" is my supe's standard escalation question.
It was such an awesome story, with such an awesome ending (in spite of the grade-A asshole who made such a post necessary), I made my darling hubby make me an icon/avatar/insert-your-choice-of-user-pic-term-here.
*points to icon* I love my husband.
I am having trouble writing this down, because I can't believe it. I cannot truly believe that this actually happened in my department. Well, I can believe it because I read this forum every day and archive copies of the juicier ones for my personal reading pleasure. It's just so...HOW? How can you be so...so...bah. Just read.
Recap: Former ELNK techie, former Kodak Dental techie, current web hosting company teching a legacy database since 06/06.
Important note: The legacy database was that of a company that was bought by Company in January 2006. The only person to come over from the old company is J below. I and my fellow co-workers are all of recent vintage; none of us has been here earlier than May.
Me: Me.
R: Dominican Co-worker
G: Fellow African-American Co-worker
J: Jamaican Supervisor
AssHat: Like it says, m'main man.
*ring*
R: *accented* Thank you for calling , this is R in Legacy Support speaking.
AssHat: *scream I can hear in my cube* I don't want to speak to no foreign n-----!!! Transfer me to a WHITE MAN!
R: I assure you, sir, that I am a fully qualified *click*
R: Damn -Me-, I think he has hung up on me.
We support bunch are mightily amused by this, as R is probably the most stiffly educated fellow to ever join us. Total starched shirt. We engage in joking about the obviously race-challenged asshat.
*ring*
G: Hey, this is -G- with support speaking. What can I do for you?
Please note that this is stated in almost full "gangsta" accent, as G is the original OG from the hoods of Atlanta. Or something. He's really just extremely laid back.
AssHat: Not another n------! TRANSFER ME TO A WHITE MAN!
G: Alright, sir, you can quit with the racist comments right now or the line will be disconnected.
AssHat: I don't talk with foreigners!
G: I'm not a foreigner. I was born right here in Atlanta, GA.
AssHat: THE LAST GUY COULDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH! I WON'T TALK WITH ANY N------ OR FORIEGNERS!
G: Not even an American black man who speaks English?
AssHat: A! WHITE! MAN!
G: One moment. Hold. *holds the dude* Yo, J, what should I do with this guy?
J: *chuckles* Give him to -Me-. He'll end up speaking to me anyway.
G: S'all you, -Me-.
Me: Right. Transfer.
*transferring occurs*
Me: Good afternoon, this is -Me- with Legacy -Company- Support. What domain or ticket number may I assist you with today?
AssHat: Finally, a WHITE man! You are a WHITE MAN, ain't you?
Me: That would be correct, sir. I am Caucasian.
AssHat: Don't get no fancy with me.
Me: I am definitely white, sir. What may I do for you today? Internal: White as bleach. Jaysus, what is your damage?
AssHat: I can't renew my domain name!
Me: What is the domain name, sir?
AssHat: iamaragingracistasshat.com
[snip] The story gets more normal here. Long story short, the domain has been expired for way over 90 days and was released to the public. Someone else [DomainDiscover] has snapped it up and is wanting to charge an exorbitant amount for him to buy it back. He doesn't want to pay, it was our fault the wrong contact email was on the WHOIS info, we should have called him, etc. Argument ensues. We won't pay for the domain to come back to him, he needs to negotiate that himself with the new [legit] owners of the domain. It was his responsibility to update the old information, yadda, yadda. It gets more an more heated. Finally:
AssHat: Get me a supervisor! NOW!
Me: Sir, my supervisor is-
AssHat: NOW!
Me: One moment, please. *hold* J...
J: Transfer him on over.
*transfery goodness*
J: *exaggerating Jamaican accent to the hilt* Goo' afternoon, sir, this is June-yer [name he goes by with customers], the manager of Legacy Support. Now what's the drama?
AssHat: *way audible* GODDAMIT! *click*
I blink a bit.
Me: J, uh, what should I put the notes under?
J: You'll find his main account under -blah-. He has several domains with us. Just put the notes in and don't worry about it. He used to call in before the merger; he did the same thing then. He won't call back for about six months or so. By then, the database merge will be complete and he'll only get the reps in Baggio [sp?; outsource in Philippines]. He'll never get up to our department again.
I put my notes in. I went on break and got some tea. And I am totally flabbergasted. W.T.F.? I shouldn't be surprised, considering what I read, but I am. Why hasn't he gotten shot yet?
Edit: BTW, yes, "what's the drama?" is my supe's standard escalation question.
It was such an awesome story, with such an awesome ending (in spite of the grade-A asshole who made such a post necessary), I made my darling hubby make me an icon/avatar/insert-your-choice-of-user-pic-term-here.
*points to icon* I love my husband.
There is a slight flaw in my character.
Here's to hoping Mr. Asshat's head exploded.
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