Ice, Ice, Baby

[Andara Bledin]

I have always wanted to go...never had the opportunity ... now I am just old ...wouldn't be nearly as much fun.

You're only as old as you let yourself get.

Although your health can have other ideas, which is completely outside any age issues.

^-.-^

[Lil Bunny]

HAH found this thread again!!!

Sooo much love for ya man, I'm so envious that you get to not only be there but work it!

I'd give you a hoop and a fire show for your awesomeness but goodness knows there are enough of us out there and my hoops are nothing special.

[Pinkie]

Bravo, Bravo!! Encore, Encore!! I want more stories!!!

[tropicsgoddess]

I would love to work with you under your tutelage!!!

[XCashier]

Just what is this hedonistic frolic of which you speak?

I do believe he is speaking of this hedonistic frolic.

[thedrunkenmonkey]

The "I know better what you should do than you do" guy

Oh, I saved the best for last. One of the hazards of working purely volunteer gigs (read: I don't get paid, people) is that the guys who you serve raw food to believe themselves entitled as a result of one thing or another. Whether or not it's the expensive ticket, their hangover, their lack of funding, or whatnot, it's almost always the same: Give me free shit because I'm a beautiful special snowflake.

No, no you're not. One of my counterparts on the coffee shift in the morning deals with people in a less gentle way than I do. He's been known to vault over the counter and turn someone upside down screaming, "THANK YOU FOR GIVING COFFEE TO THE NEXT FIVE PEOPLE IN LINE FOR FREE!" when someone says, "Hey, you should GIVE the coffee away. You know, free."

Like it or not we work concessions in an environment where there are only TWO concessions and neither of them make any cash. We have no labor overhead; were you to hire us to provide this service on spec, even at minimum wage, we'd be pricing the sales somewhere in the neighborhood of $8 a bag for ice. So no, fuck you, we have the prices set correctly.

SC: "Dude, you should give us ice."
Me: "Fascinating. So, I should give you something we already make a loss bringing here, huh?"
SC: "Yeah." *hopeful look*
Me: "No."
SC: "What?"
Me: "No. See, I've been here since 7AM cleaning this place up for people, getting rid of butts, garbage, setting up a good place for my crews to work here, getting coffee for them, and THEY actually work hard. You, on the other hand, are just some dude who walked in. I recognize people who bust ass. You probably set up in an RV down the street after rolling in last night and the most effort you've put forth today is standing here trying to mooch free ice. You want free ice? Get on the crew and put in three hours of work for a comp bag. If not, shut the fuck up and get your money out."
SC: "But I don't have any money with me."
Me: "I'm shocked. Maybe you could mooch off someone in the line to get a bag of ice from them."
SC: "You're not being very nice."
Me: "Did you just land from the planet Retard? I'm not paid to be nice to you. I'm not actually paid at all. My job is to provide ice to people at the lowest possible amount with the greatest amount of speed, and you're a speed bump."
SC: *waiting*
Me: *ignoring*
SC: *waiting*
Me: "Were you waiting for a further explanation or just doing a mime performance of a sack of hammers?"
SC: "Fuck you."
Me: "No no, fuck on. Fuck on, my idiotic moochable drainbow hippie asshat, fuck on."

Come on, I really need some ice, even though it's two hours past closing time

The line says it all. If I wind up back at the station drinking beers or picking up some stuff from behind the counter, inevitably someone will come in and say:

Late SC: "I really need some ice, I won't have cold drinks otherwise for this great party I'm hosting later."
Me: "It's 8PM, and all stations close at 6. I can't help you. We're locked up."
LSC: "Come on, can't you open the doors and sell me some ice?"
Me: "No registers means I can't take your money."
LSC: "What if I come back tomorrow and pay you then?"
Me: "No."
LSC: "Come on, man, don't be a jerk."
Me: "Me be a jerk? I'm not the slackass fucktard who has a time-telling disability and a whine that could make dogs howl. Learn to tell time and maybe get your silly ass up in time to make the ice sales."
LSC: "But it's so far for me to walk home from here, I just need, like, five bags."
Me: "What part of NO don't you understand, the N or the O? We open at 9AM tomorrow. We close at 6PM every day. This is the hours that have been standard for four years. It's labeled EVERYWHERE, including the front."
LSC: "Who brings a watch out here?"
Me: *holding up wrist* Live in the now. But be on time. See ya.

[thedrunkenmonkey]

I do believe he is speaking of this hedonistic frolic.

You are entitled to your belief. However, I may or may not be speaking of that event and cannot confirm or deny my presence or the veracity of these events. They are non-attributable to any specific event and should not, for purposes of discussion, be labeled any one event.

[42_42_42]

You are entitled to your belief. However, I may or may not be speaking of that event and cannot confirm or deny my presence or the veracity of these events. They are non-attributable to any specific event and should not, for purposes of discussion, be labeled any one event.

Oh. Ok. I only ask because it sounds damn scary crazy awesome.

[Moggie]

Me: "No no, fuck on. Fuck on, my idiotic moochable drainbow hippie asshat, fuck on."

Me: *holding up wrist* Live in the now. But be on time. See ya.

For these two quotes alone I would give you a whole internets worth of cookies. Well played!

[Seshat]

One year, I'm going to go.

I'll need:
* sweat-wicking ultra-high-SF sunproof clothing, including mask
* mobility devices appropriate for the desert, & solar charger
* particle-filtering breathing mask
* appropriate shelter
* enough heat-rash-prevention-cream to bathe in (well, almost)
* twice the recommended water (well, maybe not twice, but too much is better than too little)
* a carer
* my medical info provided to the medical care team
* medical advice from the medical care team
* the standard 'how to survive B------ M--' kit.

But dammit, I WILL make it. One year.

... hey, would fishnets OVER sweat wicking sunproof clothing count?

[depechemodefan]

really? a guy with two wangs? it's not a metaphor, right?

Ah, whisky at the job. and women in just fishnet stockings. And guys doing pole dances. That sounds like Nirvanah.

[42_42_42]

Just finished reading practically everything on the website linked above by XCashier.

Sad to say that I am 31 years and 6 months of age and had never heard of this awesome spectacle festival of human expression and experience before.

I am completely astounded and impressed by what has evolved.

[Bliss]

really? a guy with two wangs? it's not a metaphor, right?

It's a prince albert, more than two wangs it comes close to "meet mr. left half wang and mr right half wang, nice to meet you", google-image it (turning safe search off) if you're NOT at work and you do NOT have a queasy stomach

[Lil Bunny]

One year, I'm going to go.

I'll need:

Ok is it bad that my needs list includes
*Tandem hoop
*Fire hoops
*Camping fuel/fire kit
*F/A kit
*Extra tape, connectors, piping
*ratcheting pipe cutter
*all my fun shiny spinny hoops
*dread falls

How in the world did I manage to get that and forget oh, the stuff like you mentioned? This is why I wouldn't survive past day one. I'd spin myself into the ground!

[42_42_42]

It's a prince albert, more than two wangs it comes close to "meet mr. left half wang and mr right half wang, nice to meet you", google-image it (turning safe search off) if you're NOT at work and you do NOT have a queasy stomach

I thought (and GIS seems to confirm, unless my Google-fu is off today) that a PA was a ring through the head, the other description I've found under bisection. (For the LOVE OF ALL WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF????!!!!).