Sounds like a concert I'd attend.
Doors are a necessity in today's society
So is the reading comprehension necessary to understand the signs on them!
I was coming back in from doing one of my many carryouts today. Some woman and her mom were leaving. I heard mom say "These doors sure are heavy and they're hard to open."
This is true--especially when you're trying to exit through the automatic entrance doors.
But Wally World is so much nicer!
We had been running another one of our loyalty coupon specials this week. The coupon comes attached to your sales flier that's mailed to you if you're a loyalty card member, and it's good for $X off a $Y purchase. Dollar amounts are determined by your spending habits at the swamp.
Anyhoo, some lady purchased a couple electric Razor scooters and used her loyalty coupon. Today she returned the scooters because of buyer's remorse or some other reason, and wanted a do-over on her coupon.
Ummm, no. Just no. That's not how this works. If you buy a can a soup and present a coupon at the checkout, and return the can of soup later, you don't get your coupon back. Lady demanded a manager and got shot down. As a parting shot, she bellowed "Wal-Mart would've done whatever it took to make me happy!"
Then why are you wasting your time here, fuckknob? Go darken their doorstep. Not ours. We've been $5-10K over salesplan every day this week, so we don't really need your chump change.
And then later some other lady complained about the cleanliness of the women's bathroom, and said we should have somebody cleaning it hourly, because Wally World has somebody checking on their bathrooms hourly, and she knows this because she talks to the person who cleans them every day, which makes me wonder if this means she talks to herself.
Then go pee and poo in their toilets, not ours! Geez....
They're all out today...
Three of our irregulars graced us with their presence today. Three!
Code Pink- As I've mentioned before, she's this crazy girl who visits the swamp often and goes on Tourette's fits and asks people stupid questions over and over again and buys stuff and returns it all, usually sans receipt.
It's even better when her mom is in tow. Then you get to hear her screaming at her mom across the store. "WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME! YOU DON'T NEED TO BE GOING WHERE I'M GOING! GO SIT ON THAT BENCH THERE UNTIL I'M DONE!"
Mom yells back. There's something wrong with her too.
Sideshow Bob- This guy who looks like a bum, has this huge, unkempt mop of gray hair down past his shoulders, and must have flat feet because he walks weird. He likes to corner people to ask them stupid questions today. Today, he was complaining to one of the ladies in optical about some razor, and AARP, and we were cheating him out of...something. Or something like that.
Everybody else calls him Eraserhead. I prefer to call him Sideshow Bob, because he looks like Sideshow Bob.
Boner Man- This guy doesn't visit nearly as often as he used to, but it's always entertaining when he does. That's because he always comes to the store sporting a tent in the pants region. And then he heads over to magazines and grabs a magazine to hold over his happy place, so that you won't see he's got a hard-on, but the magazine makes it rather obvious so you can't really help but gawk and giggle because who walks around rigidly holding a magazine over his crotchal region everyplace he goes?
One of the service desk ladies pointed him out to me today.
Losing the Loser Lottery:
The two closing floor people tonight happen to be the two laziest floor people we have, and it was hellishly busy today. In fact, at about 4:20 this afternoon I had to run around doing price checks while trying to schlep two items to a customer because one floor person was backup cashiering and the other wasn't down yet because he was supposed to start at 4:15 but was abusing the hell out of the 7-minute rule again.
I couldn't even get all my autopulls done before I left. Betcha those two losers just stuff a dump bin full of everything and anything that was in the system tonight, and leave it for the openers tomorrow. This will make them very unhappy, and they will ask me why this happened. When they do, I'm outing those two fucks.
Doors are a necessity in today's society
So is the reading comprehension necessary to understand the signs on them!
I was coming back in from doing one of my many carryouts today. Some woman and her mom were leaving. I heard mom say "These doors sure are heavy and they're hard to open."
This is true--especially when you're trying to exit through the automatic entrance doors.
But Wally World is so much nicer!
We had been running another one of our loyalty coupon specials this week. The coupon comes attached to your sales flier that's mailed to you if you're a loyalty card member, and it's good for $X off a $Y purchase. Dollar amounts are determined by your spending habits at the swamp.
Anyhoo, some lady purchased a couple electric Razor scooters and used her loyalty coupon. Today she returned the scooters because of buyer's remorse or some other reason, and wanted a do-over on her coupon.
Ummm, no. Just no. That's not how this works. If you buy a can a soup and present a coupon at the checkout, and return the can of soup later, you don't get your coupon back. Lady demanded a manager and got shot down. As a parting shot, she bellowed "Wal-Mart would've done whatever it took to make me happy!"
Then why are you wasting your time here, fuckknob? Go darken their doorstep. Not ours. We've been $5-10K over salesplan every day this week, so we don't really need your chump change.
And then later some other lady complained about the cleanliness of the women's bathroom, and said we should have somebody cleaning it hourly, because Wally World has somebody checking on their bathrooms hourly, and she knows this because she talks to the person who cleans them every day, which makes me wonder if this means she talks to herself.
Then go pee and poo in their toilets, not ours! Geez....
They're all out today...
Three of our irregulars graced us with their presence today. Three!
Code Pink- As I've mentioned before, she's this crazy girl who visits the swamp often and goes on Tourette's fits and asks people stupid questions over and over again and buys stuff and returns it all, usually sans receipt.
It's even better when her mom is in tow. Then you get to hear her screaming at her mom across the store. "WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME! YOU DON'T NEED TO BE GOING WHERE I'M GOING! GO SIT ON THAT BENCH THERE UNTIL I'M DONE!"
Mom yells back. There's something wrong with her too.
Sideshow Bob- This guy who looks like a bum, has this huge, unkempt mop of gray hair down past his shoulders, and must have flat feet because he walks weird. He likes to corner people to ask them stupid questions today. Today, he was complaining to one of the ladies in optical about some razor, and AARP, and we were cheating him out of...something. Or something like that.
Everybody else calls him Eraserhead. I prefer to call him Sideshow Bob, because he looks like Sideshow Bob.
Boner Man- This guy doesn't visit nearly as often as he used to, but it's always entertaining when he does. That's because he always comes to the store sporting a tent in the pants region. And then he heads over to magazines and grabs a magazine to hold over his happy place, so that you won't see he's got a hard-on, but the magazine makes it rather obvious so you can't really help but gawk and giggle because who walks around rigidly holding a magazine over his crotchal region everyplace he goes?
One of the service desk ladies pointed him out to me today.
Losing the Loser Lottery:
The two closing floor people tonight happen to be the two laziest floor people we have, and it was hellishly busy today. In fact, at about 4:20 this afternoon I had to run around doing price checks while trying to schlep two items to a customer because one floor person was backup cashiering and the other wasn't down yet because he was supposed to start at 4:15 but was abusing the hell out of the 7-minute rule again.
I couldn't even get all my autopulls done before I left. Betcha those two losers just stuff a dump bin full of everything and anything that was in the system tonight, and leave it for the openers tomorrow. This will make them very unhappy, and they will ask me why this happened. When they do, I'm outing those two fucks.
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