Boss threatens to punch SC

[Refkeila]

oh, I beg to differ... the worst coffee on the planet is served at the hotel

..I just got back from a week long vacation in San Francisco (No idea where Smiley is, assuming it's nowhere close to his hotel) and have to agree. Worst ever coffee I drank was at the hotel. I had to go to Starbucks or Peet's to get my java fix.

Lesson learned: Always travel with a tin of Timmies.


Back on topic...


Everyplace that serves that serves food/beverages of any sort has this thing called a 'menu', at least the ones I've eaten at. Where are the 'Special Snowflakes' coming from that they don't understand it's concept? Not on the menu, don't order it, or, don't have a meltdown when someone's decided to be nice and attempt to make what you described to them. They're doing you a favour.

I tried ordering a paralyser at a restaurant in Las Vegas once, the waiter came back to me and explained that it wasn't a known drink to the bartender, but if I could tell them how to make it, they would. It ended up being a bit milkier than I would have liked, but it was *gasp* not on their drink list, not something they make 30 times an hour, but they went out of their way for me so I was happy.

[EricKei]

Dude, how can you justify this perversion of the natural order? Coffee is not meant to be combined with..roots. And nasty-tasting roots at that. Oh this is so wrong. I'm speechless. Really.

Fear not, Dear Lady, for I am merely the messenger ^_^ I don't drink the stuff myself (as I said), I prefer to get my caffeine buzz from carbonated beverages. The coffee drinkers here, however, love it.

If yer ever in town, I recommend hitting up Cafe du Monde in the Quarter or Morning Call out by the Lakeside -- both are open 24 hours -- ask for "Coffee and Doughnuts" (which is pretty much all they serve anyway), and specify that you want cafe au lait. They will show you how this stuff is *supposed* to taste. It should be noted that "doughnuts", in this case, refers to the almighty beginet.

As for roots in food, have you never had (real, "homestyle") root beer? Nor gumbo or another dish that includes filé? Both are made from dried sassafrass root.

[dalesys]

...As for roots in food, have you never had...

Potatos? Cattail flour? ...

[Green_Fairy]

You know, thats what I originally thought as well. However, Starbucks does have a "correct" iced cappuccino. You have the ice in the cup, pour espresso in, fill about half way with cold milk, then actually top off with foam from steamed milk. As to how it actually tastes, not that great, but I was intrigued when I saw the directions and made one for myself.

i totally didn't know that! lol learn something new every day ^_^

Oh, and the worst coffee I ever had?

Starbucks.

dude. harsh.

[Jester]

The worst coffee on the planet is the nasty crap my mom drinks.

This is probably one of the reasons that I'm not a coffee drinker. She ruined the experience for me.

My mom ruined coffee for me, but I have never figured out if it was intentional or not.

My parents, as many parents, always had coffee in the morning. I have always been an inquisitive guy, even as a child, and one day I guess I was pestering Mom about what coffee tasted like. I remember specifically we were out on our back deck, it was morning, and Mom was having her morning coffee. I was all of six. So Mom gave me a taste of her coffee.

Have you ever seen that face where someone tastes something awful, than spits it out? Yeah. That was my face. Except I didn't spit it out, because Mom would have killed me. Especially since she was right in front of me, and would have gotten all the coffee all over her. I hated it. How much so? I didn't try coffee again until I was in college. Where I ordered it two different times, when I was drunk, and trying to sober up in a local diner. Both times, I took one sip, and remembered that I hated the stuff. Other than those three sips, I have only ever had three other sips of coffee, and that was when an idiot waitress took our order for Bailey's and hot chocolates and brought us Bailey's and coffees. Not being familiar with the taste myself, my friend figured out the problem. I was just wondering why the hot chocolate tasted so....off.

So yeah, I've had a grand total of six sips of coffee in my entire life, three of them unintentional.

Why would anyone even want to drink something that your boss pulled out of his ass? Must have been some serious caffeine jonesin'.

I have seen some people going through some serious caffeine joneses. Trust me, some of these people would have drank stuff that came out of a diseased camel's ass if it would have given them their caffeine fix.

My classmates one day started offering around a package of lemon gum...

I would have probably loved it. I used to get myself awake at one job when I worked opening shifts by biting into a big ole wedge of lemon. If that doesn't wake up up, you're either still drunk, you're seriously hungover, or you're dead.

You make iced coffee the same way you make any iced drink: pour it over ice.

Not true. Because coffee is scalding hot, when you pour it over ice, much of it melts, so you do need to add more ice to make a true iced coffee. Also, if you make the drink in a glass, you need to put a long spoon in it so that the sudden temperature change doesn't crack the glass. (The metal takes a lot of the temp transfer out of the glass so it doesn't absorb as much shock. Some of the science types in here could probably explain the thermodynamics far better than me.)

My mom was an iced coffee drinker when I was a kid. She loved the stuff.

Amusing side note: had a guy order an iced Irish coffee the other day. That's right....irish whiskey and coffee over ice.

Dude, how can you justify this perversion of the natural order? Coffee is not meant to be combined with..roots. And nasty-tasting roots at that.

You realize, of course, that you are talking about a drink that is made from running hot water through ground up beans, making, essentially, dirty water? You do realize that, right?

I tried ordering a paralyser at a restaurant in Las Vegas once, the waiter came back to me and explained that it wasn't a known drink to the bartender, but if I could tell them how to make it, they would.

This happens to bartenders all the time. "Hey, yeah, can you make me a Jester's Laugh?" Just because it happens to be your favorite drink and your favorite pub in your home town doesn't mean every bartender everywhere knows how to make it. Quite often, establishments have specialty drinks unique to their place. I know The Bar does. Or perhaps it is an invention of one of the bartenders there. There are at least two drinks at The Bar that I invented, and another that a coworker invented. And yet a fourth that a former (and once again) employee invented when it first opened.

Look, it's going to happen that you want a drink that the bartender is not familiar with. If you like the drink, it's always a good idea to know what is in it. I recently was asked for a drink that this couple had had in Jamaica, but I had never heard of. They told me what was in it, and while I did not have all the ingredients, I had a flash of how I could attempt to replicate it for them. And they were utterly shocked to taste it and find out that it was damned close to what they were talking about.

But if you order a drink, they don't know it, and you don't know what's in it, telling the bartender something inane like "it's pink" won't help. Half the damn cocktails are pink anyway. So don't get pissy, and order something else.

Unless, of course, the drink in question is a "rum and coke" and the bartender has no idea how to make it. Then you don't get pissy....you just go to another bar where they have more than three brain cells.

[jackfaire]

On the flip side my friend was ordering a drink told the bartender exactly how to make it and the bartender told him that one of the things he mentioned isn't whiskey. We were like oh okay we thought it was. Later we checked and it was fricking whiskey.

I don't like coffee either and not because anyone ruined it for me. I tried coffee the first time and was surprised that even though I loved the smell it tasted really bitter and not at all good. My friend told me, "You have to drink it until you like it"

That boggled my mind I told her I will stick to soda which I liked the first time I drank it.

[XCashier]

I don't like coffee either and not because anyone ruined it for me. I tried coffee the first time and was surprised that even though I loved the smell it tasted really bitter and not at all good. My friend told me, "You have to drink it until you like it"

Same here. Love the smell of coffee, but hate the taste. Plus, I've found that most things that are an "acquired taste" really aren't worth the bother of acquiring the taste for them.

[Jester]

Love the smell of coffee, but hate the taste.

A lot of people who know my hatred of coffee are surprised to find out that I love the smell of it. To me, nothing says "morning" more than the smell of fresh-brewed coffee and the smell of freshly-cooked bacon.

I've found that most things that are an "acquired taste" really aren't worth the bother of acquiring the taste for them.

I disagree. Many things that are "acquired taste" are rather worth acquiring, in my opinion and experience. Some things that not everyone loves the first time but that I have acquired the taste for include Guinness, beer in general, red wines, sushi, liver, pate, beef tongue*, bleu cheese, sauerkraut*, and rum. (*I list these as acquired tastes because for many people they are, even though for me they are not technically "acquired" since I have loved them since before I can remember.)

[EricKei]

A lot of people who know my hatred of coffee are surprised to find out that I love the smell of it. To me, nothing says "morning" more than the smell of fresh-brewed coffee and the smell of freshly-cooked bacon.

That's pretty much how it is for me ^_^ Mmmmm IIIIIIT'S BACONNNNNNNNNN!

[Peppergirl]

Could we PLEASE dispense with the talk of chicory coffee and beignets at Cafe du Monde? It's my bed time and now I'm drooling on my pillow.

[rvdammit]

Worst coffee in the world is anything I drink. A few minutes later it gets ejected with prejudice.

[Fox One]

oh, I beg to differ... the worst coffee on the planet is served at the hotel

Apparently I'm staying at said hotel, because lemme tell ya, YECH!

[XCashier]

I disagree. Many things that are "acquired taste" are rather worth acquiring, in my opinion and experience. Some things that not everyone loves the first time but that I have acquired the taste for include Guinness, beer in general, red wines, sushi, liver, pate, beef tongue*, bleu cheese, sauerkraut*, and rum. (*I list these as acquired tastes because for many people they are, even though for me they are not technically "acquired" since I have loved them since before I can remember.)

I've liked sushi, liver, pate and bleu cheese since I first tasted them. Red wine, depends on what kind. I was thinking along the lines of coffee, cigarettes, cigars and Jerry Lewis movies for the "acquired tastes that aren't worth acquiring" category.

[Bliss]

I am sorry to say this, but the worst coffee in the world is served in all of your country, as someone from a country with a vigorous traditional coffee culture I can tell :P

Yet I must say the most horrible coffee experience I've had in particular was in a florida denny's during a visit there... I almost passed out on the spot lol.

[Shalom]

Jester said: "A lot of people who know my hatred of coffee are surprised to find out that I love the smell of it."

XCashier said: "Same here. Love the smell of coffee, but hate the taste."

and Jackfaire said: "I don't like coffee either and not because anyone ruined it for me. I tried coffee the first time and was surprised that even though I loved the smell it tasted really bitter and not at all good."

OK, you are all me.

There is a genetic marker in a certain percentage of the population. Persons with this marker will have three attributes: 1. Coffee tastes bitter, 2. The stringy bits inside a banana peel will not taste bitter, although to most of the population they do, and 3. Cilantro tastes like soap, or has a metallic taste. (This last is not 100% correlated.)

Bear in mind I grew up with instant "coffee", and can't take caffeine anyway due to it causing lethal irritability. I still drink decaf instant, but have no idea why. Still think it tastes bitter.

Jester said further: "Also, if you make the drink in a glass, you need to put a long spoon in it so that the sudden temperature change doesn't crack the glass."

I lost a nice souvenir glass from the NYC Transit Museum, with a subway map on it, this way. It handled the coffee fine, but I wanted to have some plain milk after. Poured the milk and heard this little "tink" sound. Paid no attention, until I lifted the glass and the bottom fell off.

"Amusing side note: had a guy order an iced Irish coffee the other day. That's right....irish whiskey and coffee over ice."

Swap vanilla ice cream for the ice, and now you're talking... They used to make a premixed syrup containing Irish whisk(e)y, coffee, and sugar, specifically for pouring over ice cream. I think it was called Irish Velvet, but it seems to not be made anymore.

Erin said: "The worst coffee on the planet is the nasty crap my mom drinks. She gets it mail ordered from Louisiana. It's got this chicory crap in it."

I'll tell you a worse one: My late grandfather ע״ה drank Postum.

The only thing I can think of is that he got used to it during World War II, when coffee was unavailable, and got "set in his ways".