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There are two nights a year I hate delivering newspapers, and that's Halloween and New Years (I'm not too fond of July 4, either). One of my routes I deliver in is a college neighborhood, which means I must weave my way around the inebriated masses and deal with their intoxicated stupidity.
This morning, as I pull up to one of my houses, a guy is staggering across the driveway. No problem. I pull up and wait for him to get out of my way. Once he's safely past, I toss the newspaper in the driveway, and begin to head on my merry way.
The guy hears the paper hit the ground (a good 15 feet away from him, mind you). Apparently he was thinking I was trying to hit him, because he stumbles around, glares at me, and screams loud enough to wake the neighborhood, "F
YOU!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!?"
First off, "F you!"
Um, no thanks, I'd really rather not. Besides, I highly doubt you could please any woman with that tiny dick of yours.
Secondly, "What do you want?"
I just want to get through my morning without being harrassed by drunken pedestrians, cyclists, and worst of all, drivers. I just want to do my job and not have pumpkins tossed at my car, be flashed, be hit by a drunk driver, or worse. This neighborhood has plenty of crime problems as it is, and I'm not to keen on being here when copious amounts of alcohol and partying are added to the mix.
And I certainly don't want to hit you (or at least I didn't at first). I've been delivering newspapers for several years, I have VERY good aim with these things, and if I'd wanted to hit you, I would have. Since it's a Sunday paper (aka a brick), it would have hurt as well.
Fortunately, my next route was much kinder. Lots of retirees in million dollar homes with pretty landscaped yards. Best of all: it was nice and quiet. I did accidentally startle a deer, but it was much more sensible. It certainly didn't scream "F you!" as I drove of.
This morning, as I pull up to one of my houses, a guy is staggering across the driveway. No problem. I pull up and wait for him to get out of my way. Once he's safely past, I toss the newspaper in the driveway, and begin to head on my merry way.
The guy hears the paper hit the ground (a good 15 feet away from him, mind you). Apparently he was thinking I was trying to hit him, because he stumbles around, glares at me, and screams loud enough to wake the neighborhood, "F
YOU!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!?"First off, "F
you!" Um, no thanks, I'd really rather not. Besides, I highly doubt you could please any woman with that tiny dick of yours.
Secondly, "What do you want?"
I just want to get through my morning without being harrassed by drunken pedestrians, cyclists, and worst of all, drivers. I just want to do my job and not have pumpkins tossed at my car, be flashed, be hit by a drunk driver, or worse. This neighborhood has plenty of crime problems as it is, and I'm not to keen on being here when copious amounts of alcohol and partying are added to the mix.
And I certainly don't want to hit you (or at least I didn't at first). I've been delivering newspapers for several years, I have VERY good aim with these things, and if I'd wanted to hit you, I would have. Since it's a Sunday paper (aka a brick), it would have hurt as well.
Fortunately, my next route was much kinder. Lots of retirees in million dollar homes with pretty landscaped yards. Best of all: it was nice and quiet. I did accidentally startle a deer, but it was much more sensible. It certainly didn't scream "F
you!" as I drove of.
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