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The Family Garoo...(kind of long)

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  • #16
    Were Pa and Ma Garoo husband and wife or brother and sister?! I almost feel sorry for those kids; a bunch of unwashed brats, for sure, but look at the genestock they came from!

    Great storytelling! And for your own sake, I'm glad you're out of there.
    I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
    My LiveJournal
    A page we can all agree with!

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    • #17
      Quoth XCashier View Post
      Were Pa and Ma Garoo husband and wife or brother and sister?!
      My guess is BOTH!
      The only words you said that I understood were "His", "Phone" and "Ya'll". The other 2 paragraphs worth was about as intelligible as a drunken Teletubby barkin' come on's at a Hooter's waitress.

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      • #18


        Whoa, that's just...whoa....
        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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        • #19
          The prose sound very English and not American, with lots of words an American kid would probalby not use. Calling someone a cunt is very British, for example. And it's a bit overwrought.

          But well-written and fun to read. Keep posting.

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          • #20
            If this isn't a war story, I don't know what is.

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            • #21
              Did you ever find out what happened to the mutants from the planet redneck?




              (no offense meant to any mutants or rednecks in the audience)


              I'm tolerant of everyone and everything except for assholes. - Mongo Skruddgemire

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              • #22
                Wow, just wow. I hope you have more stories, welcome to CS by the way.
                The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.

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                • #23
                  That was BRILLIANT!

                  Welcome to CS. Please continue to tell wonderful stories!

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                  • #24
                    That is just bloody brilliant! And you write very well *laughs*.

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                    • #25
                      Quoth XCashier View Post
                      Were Pa and Ma Garoo husband and wife or brother and sister?!

                      I believe the word is "and".


                      In any case, well done!
                      Last edited by I See Stupid People; 12-05-2006, 10:51 PM. Reason: aw, Banrion beat me to it!
                      ISSP

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                      • #26
                        Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
                        Oh, my God.

                        You write like Joe Lansdale, one of my favorite writers.

                        In fact, you even use the term "rumble tumble", a title of one of his so-called "Hap and Leonard" books.

                        You a Lansdale fan?

                        God Bless America, can you write. It was a great story, and HILARIOUS story, and written so well it took my breath.

                        You rock!
                        Thanks to all for your positive feedback. I knew that this would be a fun place out which in to hang.

                        However, in reply to your query; yes, I do enjoy Joe Lansdale's works (particularly Hap & Leonard) and, in fact, know Joe personally (from the time I lived in Houston, but drilled sloppy, messy oil wells in East Texas). Inevitably, some of his vernacular must have rubbed off. No complaints here, mind you.

                        Well, since there's been such an overall positive response, I guess I'll have to dust off the old Corona (upgraded grudingly to MiscoSquash Word) and regale some more tales of when I had to deal with SC's. Mind you, these are going lean a bit to the weird side.

                        I tend to have adventures that slide that way, for some reason.

                        Oh, if anyone has the inclination, time or depravity to see some of my earlier scrawlings, go to www.holysmoke.org and search under "Marty". Be forewarned, you do so at your own considerable peril.

                        Quoth Auto View Post
                        The prose sound very English and not American, with lots of words an American kid would probalby not use. Calling someone a cunt is very British, for example. And it's a bit overwrought.

                        But well-written and fun to read. Keep posting.
                        Yep, there are a plethora of Angelicisms in the story. But, since this happened in Wisconsin (i.e., "Baja Canada"), we had a lot of displaced Brits and other forms of Euroflotsam with which we shared evolutionary hyperspace. Plus, I lived in England for a while (before the tale occurred), so some of that toffee-nosed banter has crept into (and resists removal with a tire iron) my vocabulary.

                        But, still, hope you enjoyed.
                        Last edited by NightAngel; 12-06-2006, 02:37 AM. Reason: No need for a second post

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                        • #27
                          Quoth HappyCthulhu View Post
                          This should be submitted directly to the War Stories section.
                          Can I get a second?
                          Already sent a nomination request to Raps.
                          I AM the evil bastard!
                          A+ Certified IT Technician

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                          • #28
                            But, since this happened in Wisconsin (i.e., "Baja Canada"),


                            That's a new one. Never heard of Wisconsin referred to as "Baja Canada".

                            Would you mind telling us where in WIsconsin this happened? The family Garoo sounds a lot like some people in my neck of the woods.
                            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                            • #29
                              Adding my serious accolades to the pile - and WELCOME!

                              I hope you have many, many more stories!

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                              • #30
                                Quoth Auto View Post
                                The prose sound very English and not American, with lots of words an American kid would probalby not use. Calling someone a cunt is very British, for example. And it's a bit overwrought.

                                But well-written and fun to read. Keep posting.
                                Actually, calling someone a cunt *is* quite American. At least in the part of the USA from which I hail.
                                And just because someone uses more formal or sophisticated vocabulary does not make them not American.

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