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I hate college students...I was one, but I hate them anyway (Long)

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  • I hate college students...I was one, but I hate them anyway (Long)

    I work running a common room for college students at a local college.

    We do a lot of different things, but I only need to tell you about 2 of them for this post.

    First of all, we hire out pool cues for students. It doesnt cost anything, all they need is a £5 deposit and a student card.

    Secondly, we issue student cards.

    Heres the stories...

    Deposit haggling
    People occasionally come in trying to get pool cues without a deposit. They are usually happy with the response that the deposit is to make sure that:

    1. They bring the cue back
    2. If the break the cue, the deposit helps pay for a new one

    But every so often someone says something along the lines of
    "I don't have a fiver, can I give you my wallet/phone/shoes instead?"

    Ummm...No? Haggling doesnt work so well in sports shops anymore thanks, if you break the cue, we cant exactly trade a wallet for a new cue, can we?

    Change?
    Each game of pool costs 50p, and only in a 50p coin. Now I accept that not all students have an abundance of 50p coins, but we keep having people coming in asking for change.

    Do you see a sign saying "Change Here" anywhere?

    Oh, and I forgot to mention, our office is situated between a change machine, and a shop.

    Oh how I wish I was kidding...

    Pool game cheapskates
    Occasionally people will hire the cue, and pay for a game of pool as per usual, but then catch every ball before it goes in the pocket to avoid paying for any more games.

    This isnt hard to notice, as there is a window in the office through which you can see all the pool tables very well.

    But then they get all angry when I refuse to give them their deposit back.

    Well, yeah. You broke the rules, and conned us out of about a fiver, which would have gone back into the common room anyway, so im not gonna give you your money back.

    Student card woes
    The student cards are a b*tch. They take a long time to do, and we have about 10,000 students wanting one from an office which is about 2x4 metres.

    Every day I get someone coming in asking for a card. I ask them if they have a passport sized photograph for it, and this is where I get the odd answers.

    They range from:

    1. "No, dont you have it?"

    Uhhh, lets see, theres 7 of us working here, and 10,000 students.....im gonna go with no.


    2. "Yup! Here you go!" *Hands me college library card*

    *Looks incredulous*
    Yes, your library card has a passport sized picture in it. But, as you may have noticed, the aforementioned picture is ALREADY IN A FRIGGIN CARD.

    I can never work out what they expect to happen here. And this happens a lot.


    And just one more story. This didnt happen to me, but its still funny.

    My office can also handle complaints from students, and we had a good one a couple of days ago.

    A student was facing suspension from the college, and complained to us about the staff who were suspending him.

    His excuse? "I only broke a couple of rules..."

    Seriously. How did he think that this was a valid complaint?

    Whats more worrying is that this college is the 5th best college in England.

    ITS FILLED WITH BLEDDY IDIOTS!

  • #2
    I remember the rec room at my college, it went through a lot of the same problems. It was $0.10 a game for pool, $0.50 a game to bowl (they had an old 6 lane alley), but I wish they'd had a deposit system like that. The equipment would have been in much better shape if there was money on the line. As it was, people treated it horribly. The bowling alley was the worst.

    One day I was in there bowling a few games. (I got pretty good in college, I think my average broke 190.) This group of jocks comes in, whooping and hollering and just being general annoyances. It was obvious they didn't come to truly bowl. One of the guys, who I swear was part gorilla due to the amount of hair on his arms, heaved two 16 lb balls in his arms and tossed them together. The first hits and triggers the pin sweeper, which is then smacked dead center by the second ball. Then people wonder why the lights on the machines don't work, why the machines often mis-set the pins, and why they keep balls so often.

    Next idiot steps up, goes to throw the ball, but lets go of it at such an angle that it flies into the air and punches a hole in the ceiling. Both times, these guys are just rolling in the aisles at how funny it is.

    Now, when I bowl, I like to use a hand positioner (You see the pros wearing something similar), it's a lot more comfortable. Plenty of jokes from them about it's uses of a sexual nature ( ), but I had to laugh when they watched me bowl 4 strikes in a row. The looks on their faces were priceless.

    They tore that old alley out after I graduated, the machines were abused so much, it wasn't worth keeping them, and there were only a few die hards (like myself) who used them. Now if they'd required people to put down a hefty deposit to use the machines, I suspect they would have been treated with more care.
    A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F.....

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    • #3
      It always seems like its the college kids who make the smartass comments to the cashiers and are shouting random stupid shit and generally making asses out of themselves.

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      • #4
        When I managed the student center on campus in college, we had a few pool tables. We took your Student ID as the deposit for the equiptment. Now where I went, you had to swipe your student ID for 1) food, 2) access to the dorms, 3) access to any of the class buildings, 4) access to the library, and to check out books, 5) to use any on campus copiers 6) to use the laundry rooms. To get a new student ID practically took an act of congress, so no one ever dared to try to rip off equipment or stiff me on the pool bill (we charged by the hour, not the game).
        The only words you said that I understood were "His", "Phone" and "Ya'll". The other 2 paragraphs worth was about as intelligible as a drunken Teletubby barkin' come on's at a Hooter's waitress.

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        • #5
          Quoth erik316wttn View Post
          It always seems like its the college kids who make the smartass comments to the cashiers and are shouting random stupid shit and generally making asses out of themselves.
          Karma usually gets them though. Around here, many of those same kids end up *receiving* those smartass comments
          Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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          • #6
            At my school, you can borrow athletic equipment (Hockey equipment, for example) and all you need is a student ID card. Most of the equipment is in pretty good shape, if you can accept the odd wet piece ( ) and they don't have a problem with people stealing stuff. Concidering that it's easier to go without your left leg than your ID, this isn't all that surprising.
            I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

            Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

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