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  • #1

    The Village Gate Is Open Again...

    ...and all the idiots have escaped and are calling Flowers O Suck tonight.

    Tonight's list of wacky entertainment included....
    Lady calling up asking the time.
    Lady calling up wanting to know what day of the week it was and the date
    Lady calling up shrieking about a discount she says we're offering even if I keep pointing out to her it's a competitors coupon.
    Man calling up asking for a midnight delivery
    Man calling up going into 45 minute conspiracy rant about how GLADD is homophobic

    Lots and lots and lots of people bemoaning prices or just generally acting like someone replaced their brain with kitchen sludge.


    but the kicker...

    3 fetish callers all eager to rant about the joys of TP. Triple Penetration for the uninitiated, sort of a fancy way to say orgy. This seems to be the popular fetish term of the season. Told the last guy that men like him were the reason I would turn lesbian if my husband left me.

    I should assemble a list of all the weird sexual fetishes I didn't realize existed before I came to work here. I need a stiff drink
    "No, I will not poop a shopping cart out for you." - Irving Patrick Freleigh
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Quoth calulu
    Man calling up going into 45 minute conspiracy rant about how GLADD is homophobic
    GLADD, GLADD... um Gays and Lesbians Against Drunk Driving? why would they be homophobic?
    To err is human, to blame someone else shows good management skills.

    my blog --> http://www.hendrices.com/joesblog/
    my brother's blog --> http://www.hendrices.com/ryansblog/

    Comment

    • #3
      Quoth joe hx View Post
      GLADD, GLADD... um Gays and Lesbians Against Drunk Driving? why would they be homophobic?
      It's a conspiracy, who says it has to make sense...
      Did you know Elvis is alive and hiding in my sugarpot? The government doesn't want you to know about it...
      "I call murder on that!"

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      • #4
        Quoth calulu View Post
        Man calling up going into 45 minute conspiracy rant about how GLADD is homophobic
        GLADD? As in... the guys who make the trash bags?

        What, do they feel all the garbage bags are getting to friendly on garbage day?

        "It's not a garbage truck! It's an ORGY ON WHEELS!!"
        Check out my webcomic!

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        • #5
          Quoth calulu
          I should assemble a list of all the weird sexual fetishes I didn't realize existed before I came to work here.
          Dear merciful heavens, Calulu.

          What kind of flowers are you selling???
          "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
          .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth calulu View Post
            3 fetish callers all eager to rant about the joys of TP. Triple Penetration for the uninitiated, sort of a fancy way to say orgy. This seems to be the popular fetish term of the season. Told the last guy that men like him were the reason I would turn lesbian if my husband left me.

            I should assemble a list of all the weird sexual fetishes I didn't realize existed before I came to work here. I need a stiff drink

            More information that I think I needed to know...

            Stiff, huh?

            Sorry.
            I don't go in for ancient wisdom
            I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
            It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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            • #7
              Quoth South Texan View Post
              Dear merciful heavens, Calulu.

              What kind of flowers are you selling???
              Poppies, clearly!
              "So, if you wanna put places like that outta business, just stop being so rock-chewingly stupid." ~ Raudf, 9/19/13

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              • #8
                Three calls about the same fetish... gotta be the same bunch of people doing prank calls in bulk.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth Polenicus View Post
                  "It's not a garbage truck! It's an ORGY ON WHEELS!!"


                  Thank you Polencius, for making me laugh. May I steal that?
                  The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                  Now queen of USSR-Land...

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth calulu View Post
                    ...and all the idiots have escaped and are calling Flowers O Suck tonight.

                    I should assemble a list of all the weird sexual fetishes I didn't realize existed before I came to work here.
                    Wait a minute. Let me see if I understand this. You work at a flower shop....and yet at that job, you have learned, through your clientele, about a whole slew of sexual fetishes you were previously unaware of?

                    Really?!?!?

                    Not that I have anything against perverts, but why the hell would you, if you were a pervert, call a flower shop to discuss your particular kink?

                    I work at a fucking BAR and I don't get calls like that. People like that, sure....but they show up to discuss their predilections in PERSON.

                    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is                     Still A Customer."

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Yeah but you're not working at a place that has it's 800 number plastered hither and yon all over the yellow pages. We night shifters get the bulk of the pervs and weirdos. Hell, I grew up in New Orleans, used to play in a band, am a jaded old bird but I never heard of most of these fetishes either, including a pancake fetish being the oddest one.

                      When they call they call and call and call again, getting everyone on shift at least a couple of times..

                      I don't know perhaps I have a freak magnet tied to my rear bumper.
                      "No, I will not poop a shopping cart out for you." - Irving Patrick Freleigh

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