I require full disclosure

[Argabarga]

When I don't get it, bad things happen to you

Tow truck drivers don’t make up a large percentage of Nobel Chemistry Prize candidates, but we ain’t stupid neither. And we’ve seen enough wrecks that we can spot an attempt at a DUI coverup from a mile away. .

For instance, if you call in that your car needs towed because it “has a flat” and we gets on scene to find that it in fact has a flat, because, hey, any tire would go flat after you failed to take a turn, ran headlong into a snowbank, bounced off it and took down 2 street signs, and in fact, both your headlights, both your foglights, and most of the grillework to your car is now splayed over 2 lanes, a gutter and someone's lawn , well, that’s a tad bit more than "a flat". The fact you didn't tell us this when you called is rather suspicious.

Well, foremost it’s infuriating, if your car is halfway up a tree, you need to TELL us that, preferably before we get on scene, dontcha think? If your ship just sprung a leak, you logically should tell the Captain “we’re taking on water” not “things are getting uncomfortably damp down below the waterline” So if your car is up a tree, or up a stop sign, or you did a little late night ditch digging without a permit, there’s an unspoken obligation on your part to TELL US THIS. Not just “I need a tow” No, you weren’t really lying persay, but, failing to tell us the exact conditions we were getting into is going to make us suspicious.

Suspicious enough in your case to warrant a call the cops and ask if you happened to REPORT that you just damaged public property. Well, shock and awe, you didn’t. Now they have to come out and file a report.

Thanks for crashing in an area that’s under State Police jurisdiction and takes 20 minutes for a response due to location and bad weather.

Thanks for getting lippy with the cops, which goads them into doing a field sobriety check on you, which you promptly fail, as I expected.

Thanks for getting arrested, meaning it’s going to be DAYS that I’ll have to move things AROUND your smashed car while it rots in the impound lot and impedes our work because you’re too incarcerated to be able to come and pick it up and won’t have the money to pay the bill after someone springs for your bail.

Seriously,

If you just wrecked your car because you were DUI, and don’t want to get cited for driving drunk, then please for the love of God, just have the common sense to flee the scene under your OWN power, don’t ask me to help you out.

We're a commercial service, not an alabi

[Jester]

To be fair, the dude was drunk, so his thinking and judgment were a bit cloudy. That is not an excuse, mind you, but an explanation as to why he might try to pull a fast one on the tow company, or not mention everything.

Me, I love tow companies, as they have bailed me out of bad situations on more than one occasion. For example, there was the time on my road trip three summers ago where I realized I had passed where I needed to go, and went to turn around by making a K-turn on a street just off the back highway I was on....and misjudged things badly, backing right into a ditch. And in such a way that my rear wheel drive truck was NOT going to be able to extricate itself. So, I called my insurance company, since I have roadside assistance as part of my package, and they sent me a tow truck. And on the phone, I told them PRECISELY what the problem was: "I'm an idiot, and I backed into a ditch, and I'm stuck."

Picture included so y'all can laugh at me. And yes, I was completely sober. Just stupid.

And before anyone says anything, yes, I know, it looks like I could have just backed up further, back on to the grass, and thus gotten out of the situation. While I did not want to mess up the person's field (yard?) any further, my politeness ends at my truck's well-being, and I would have done just that. Except I couldn't. I tried. I couldn't go forward or back--I was truly and deeply stuck.

[Juggler]

"I'm an idiot, and I backed into a ditch, and I'm stuck."

I've found that fessing up to being an idiot up front can work wonders. Not so recently I got a card in my mail offering me free Cinemax for a year, all I had to do was call. I hadn't read it when I got it and put it in my "look at when I'm really bored pile". Recently I got really bored and saw it. I called and they told me that the offer expired. My response was something to the effect of "Aren't I a complete moron, Oh well. KTHXBYE" (I didn't actually speak in lolcat), and was about to hang up when the girl on the other end stopped me, talked to her supervisor and they gave it to me.

[Jester]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: my "I'm an idiot" line is not only funny and self-deprecating, it gets shit done. I have gotten more done by being a polite "idiot" than most people get done by screaming their fool heads off.

Though to be fair, I have yet to get laid by proclaiming my idiocy......

[Broomjockey]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: my "I'm an idiot" line is not only funny and self-deprecating, it gets shit done.

Totally true. I used it not long ago. CSR laughed, and willingly explained in small details how I was completely blind and silly. And she didn't sound annoyed at the slightest.

[friendofjimmyk]

Well, foremost it’s infuriating, if your car is halfway up a tree, you need to TELL us that, preferably before we get on scene, dontcha think? If your ship just sprung a leak, you logically should tell the Captain “we’re taking on water” not “things are getting uncomfortably damp down below the waterline” Suspicious enough in your case to warrant a call the cops and ask if you happened to REPORT that you just damaged public property. Well, shock and awe, you didn’t. Now they have to come out and file a report.

First of all - the comparison is HILARIOUS! Second of all, I feel your pain. I've been on both sides of the tow business - driver and now dispatch. As a dispatcher, we have been called up by drivers telling us that the scene is suspicous...or the member is passed out in their car and cannot be woken up...

My favorite when I was driving? Opening the door of a car that I'm about to tow and getting smacked in the face by a wall of funny, sweet smelling "cigarette" smoke. I don't care if you get high, I really don't - but if you are broke down on the side of the road and/or obtructing traffic, do you really think it's a good idea to fire up that spliff? What if the cops got to you before I did?

Most drivers will not tow you if they suspect you are drunk if you have wrecked your car or not. Hell, most companies won't go and help you get your keys unlocked from your car if you are in the parking lot of a bar.

On a related topic and relevant to this crappy weather. The members who call in and say, "Oh, I'm only 10 - 15 feet off the road" and then when the driver arrives, they discover the vehicle is more like 100+ feet off the road, down a steep embankment, hung up on a tree, wrapped up in a sign, upside down - you name it - it's not how we were told.

And the people who get really pissed off when you won't tow their car because you see property damage and you have to get a police report first. Look, we don't make the laws and your ass isn't worth breaking it.

So, yeah, I feel you on this one.

[EvilEmpryss]

Yes indeed. It is important to tell the dispatcher why the tow is needed. In some cases it can get the truck out there quicker than usual.

Like when my friend hit a deer and totalled her little car. Dispatcher asked her if the deer was dead. She says yes, she believes it keeled over in some bushes a bit off the road.

Truck was there in record time, and after the driver got her car up on the truck, he went and found the deer. They didn't leave until he had Bambi strapped down as securely as her car.

[Jester]

Hell, most companies won't go and help you get your keys unlocked from your car if you are in the parking lot of a bar.

Now that is lame. What if you lost your keys when you were drunk but were taking a cab home anyway, and were calling the tow company the next morning when you realized what a drunken buttsurfer you were? Or something equally feasible and semi-responsible?

Look, we don't make the laws and your ass isn't worth breaking it.

I have said variations of that very line countless times to people who are attempting to purchase drinks without proper identification. Preach on, FoJK, preach on!

[infinitemonkies]

Thanks for getting arrested, meaning it’s going to be DAYS that I’ll have to move things AROUND your smashed car while it rots in the impound lot and impedes our work because you’re too incarcerated to be able to come and pick it up and won’t have the money to pay the bill after someone springs for your bail.

That is a great line. I'm gonna figure out a way to work that into the log book at work

[crashhelmet]

The last time I had to call a tow truck for an accident, I didn't actually call. The State Trooper/Ranger did. I was 30 feet down the side of a mountain, just a few feet from a cliff with a 10-20 foot drop off. Cost me $150 to get it back up to the road.

CH

[blas]

There are only certain places around here that you can park overnight (and with it being winter, calendar parking is a pain), so even if you're smart and get a DD or a cab, you still risk getting towed.

[jedimaster91]

Yes indeed. It is important to tell the dispatcher why the tow is needed. In some cases it can get the truck out there quicker than usual.

I need a good excuse like that the next time my car sputters and dies in a bad part of town and it's getting dark. Long story short, I was on my way to pick up keys to Mr Jedi's car (that had broken down the day before) from the repair shop and mine crapped out. I waited over 2 hours in the cold and in the dark for the dang tow truck.

[JoitheArtist]

I love my towing company! Or at least, the one that usually gets sent to my house by AAA. They responded when my car died in the left turn lane at the top of a hill during rush hour traffic, and the driver was both professional and very nice. Turns out his sister-in-law and I went to the same university.

When I called AAA a few days later to get the car towed to my (also amazing) mechanic, they sent the same company out. The guy asked what was wrong with the car, I explained about it dying a few days ago. He managed to get the car started for me (not only had the car died, but I thought I'd drained the battery trying to restart it), and said that he didn't want me to pay for a tow (my mechanic is outside my AAA free towing range, so it would have cost some cash). So he called AAA, told them to take the tow off my record, and gave me his cell phone to call him if the car died on the way to the mechanic.

I really like that tow company!!

[Andara Bledin]

Picture included so y'all can laugh at me. And yes, I was completely sober. Just stupid.

I came across something very similar and rather stupider, as the ditch in question was much more obvious, while attending a faire. The group had been working to try to get this little compact out of the ditch for about 15 minutes before I happened upon them. All they'd managed was to spin all the dirt out from under the tires and get it well stuck. I think they might have had to call a tow or get someone else to hook a chain up if I (or someone else with some engineering sense) hadn't shown up. A few bits of deadwood, proper leverage, and some well-placed manpower were all it took to get it clear.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: my "I'm an idiot" line is not only funny and self-deprecating, it gets shit done.

If you admit up front that you've done something stupid, then people get the idea that you won't be hiding any other foolishness from them.

The people who vehemently proclaim they are not idiots, however, are obviously lying, and you never know what sort of asshattery they've been up to.

I don't care if you get high, I really don't - but if you are broke down on the side of the road and/or obtructing traffic, do you really think it's a good idea to fire up that spliff?

Hotboxing your car when you're broken down and waiting on a tow seems like a fundamentally stupid idea.

The last time I had to call a tow truck for an accident, I didn't actually call. The State Trooper/Ranger did. I was 30 feet down the side of a mountain, just a few feet from a cliff with a 10-20 foot drop off. Cost me $150 to get it back up to the road.

Oooh... I had one of those.

I'd managed to do a flip (a forward flip, not a roll) my car off the side of a freeway due to debris I didn't see until it was far too late, and so the lovely Highway Patrol were the ones to call the truck in. $75 for the winch to get my car up and out of the ditch, and another $75 to get to the tow lot, 5 miles away.

He managed to get the car started for me (not only had the car died, but I thought I'd drained the battery trying to restart it), and said that he didn't want me to pay for a tow (my mechanic is outside my AAA free towing range, so it would have cost some cash).

I don't know about your state, but I know in California, they can only tow a car once for free per problem. So if you break down and have your car towed to your house, you can't then have your car towed to the shop. It sucks.

And if you have the option in your area, get the higher level of AAA. Here, AAA Plus gives you tows of up to 100 miles instead of the basic 7. Absolutely worth every penny.

^-.-^

[protege]

I'm sure the driver who ever towed my neighbor's car awhile back had fun... Seems the car's owner was a classmate of mine. She'd pulled her Mustang into the driveway, and forgot to set the handbrake. For whatever reason, the car started to roll In fact, it rolled down the driveway, across the street...and then down over the hill Somehow, it missed the two houses, the swimming pool, several trees...before coming to rest in a yard on the *next* street over the hill

Needless to say, I'm sure that getting that now-destroyed car out of that yard was expensive! It couldn't come back up the rather steep hill, so it had to get removed from below. I really didn't think the owner of that yard appreciated losing her back fence (taken out by the car), several small trees (again, car), her fence towards the front (taken out by the people removing the car), small stone planter in front (damaged when the tow truck drove over it)...as well as the massive tire tracks all over the place. Yep, that person was pissed!