Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Upside-Down Menu

[customersruinmylife]

Here are a few of post-Christmas tales. Remember, I am in the kitchen now, so my encounters with SC's have been limited.

Vegetarian to the MAX!!

I partly blame the manager who was on for this. He barged into the kitchen, looking rather flustered.

Manager: Customersruinmylife, have you handled any meat today?
Me: Is that some kind of perverted joke?!?
M: Oh, sorry! No! Well, I've got a customer who is a vegetarian, and they want someone to prepare their food that has not touched any meat to make their food.
Me: Well...of course I've handled meat, it's pretty hard not to when you have to prepare a steak...
M: Oh...
Me: But I've washed my hands after handling the meat.
M: No...that won't do. She says she won't eat if you have handled meat today...

He walked out. The vegetarian stormed out the pub!

That is taking vegetarianism too far. Also, why didn't my manager simply lie to her?

Bread Bread Bread, the Bread is the Word

The deliveries have been really tight over the Christmas period. We ran out of bread...very simple. A co-worker burst into the kitchen.

CW: Customersruinmylife, do we have any bread?
Me: No, we don't. Completely out.
CW: OK...

She returned a minute later.

CW: Any burger buns?
Me: No...no bread.
CW: OK.

She burst back in.

CW: Baguettes?
Me: No. We have no bread related products. No bread, no rolls, no buns, no baguettes. Nothing.
CW: OK, but the stupid customer keeps sending me in to ask!

CW left the kitchen and returned a minute later, laughing.

CW: She wants you to go to the store and buy some bread.
Me: What?!?! For starters, the stores are closed. Tell her to bring her own fucking bread!!

CW walked out. She returned...AGAIN.

CW: *laughing* She wants you to double check.
Me: I'm not checking!
CW: I know, don't worry, let's just pretend you are.

CW left for the final time. The lady left the pub hungry.

Here's the funny part. As I was cleaning down the kitchen, I found some unopened bread that had fallen behind a counter...guess I should have checked!

Sherlock Holmes

I witnessed this first hand. I had just finished my shift, and was behind the bar getting my things. A customer walks up to the bar.

CW: Hi there, what can I get you?
SC: Oh, I'm not waiting to be served. I just want to have a word with you about this menu I have.
CW: Ok, how can I help?
SC: Well, you see, this was left upside down on the table. I mean, that is not really on, is it? This place is supposed to look presentable and respectable, and whoever is organising your tables has left this upside down!
CW: OK...sorry about that.
SC: Who did this?
CW: I don't know to be honest...
SC: Well, you need to find out. I'll be back!

I decided to stay back for a drink. About 20 minutes later, he returned.

SC: Well, have you found out yet?
CW: I don't know sir...
SC: Well you need to find out! If someone who works here doesn't know how to present a menu, then what hope do they have??!

[Ironclad Alibi]

Manager: Customersruinmylife, have you handled any meat today?

Me: I've handled my meat several times today.

[friendofjimmyk]

See, even if I didn't handle meat, if she did order, I'd be really tempted to go squeeze some steaks and ground beef in the cooler before preparing her food. Tempted - not sure if I'd do it...but I'd be tempted.

[Mike Taylor]

Here are a few of post-Christmas tales. Remember, I am in the kitchen now, so my encounters with SC's have been limited.

Vegetarian to the MAX!!

I partly blame the manager who was on for this. He barged into the kitchen, looking rather flustered.

Manager: Customersruinmylife, have you handled any meat today?
Me: Is that some kind of perverted joke?!?
M: Oh, sorry! No! Well, I've got a customer who is a vegetarian, and they want someone to prepare their food that has not touched any meat to make their food.
Me: Well...of course I've handled meat, it's pretty hard not to when you have to prepare a steak...
M: Oh...
Me: But I've washed my hands after handling the meat.
M: No...that won't do. She says she won't eat if you have handled meat today...

He walked out. The vegetarian stormed out the pub!

That is taking vegetarianism too far. Also, why didn't my manager simply lie to her?

Maybe your manager hated her and wanted her to leave? It sounds to me like she was being a royal pain in the ass.

[EvilEmpryss]

The only place anyone should have any reasonable expectation of meat-free handling of their food is at vegan restaurants. Even then, though, you can't insist that the chefs not eat a steak sandwich for lunch.

[NateTheChops]

SC: Well you need to find out! If someone who works here doesn't know how to present a menu, then what hope do they have??!

I mean god. They made one tiny mistake with setting a menu today but tomorrow it could be dropping bacon bits into a vegetarian salad!

[joe hx]

Y'know, back at <old pizza place> our Muslim customers were quite happy with us just cleaning the utensils and hands to avoid any pork getting into their pizza.

Also, why didn't my manager simply lie to her?

Maybe the manager doesn't like to lie? Has she lied to customers before?

[South Texan]

Also, why didn't my manager simply lie to her?

Maybe the manager doesn't like to lie?

Maybe the manager believes that telling a lie is morally wrong?

.

[Andara Bledin]

I wouldn't have lied to the woman, myself, but geez louise, what a crank.

How is having touched meat the day before any better than having touched meat that day? There will have been a washing of hands between, regardless.

And, if you think about it, any male cook would be a non-starter regardless of what they'd cooked that day, anyway.

^-.-^

[Hobbs]

I'd become a cook at a Vegan restraunt for just that purpose. PRolly couldn't eat in the dining area, though, lol.

[aurelemsrealm]

In regards to vegetarian lady, just tell her a white lie and be done with it. I frequently tell the crazy and annoying customers lines of bullshit if I think it will get them out of my hair a little faster. If she's not going to embrace the human tendency toward carnivorous feeding habits, she's not going to be happy anyway. No point in spasing over it. I bet it'd really blow her mind to realize that we're all a bunch of living meat.

Sounds like Sherlock Holmes should worry more about solving the case of his missing mind rather than an upside down menu. Who cares if a menu is upside down? I'm capable of reading upside down if need be, and I've been known to do strange things like that just to mess with other people who worry about things that are not their concern.

[Kristev]

An upside down menu? Oh my word! Someone warn Sonia Sotomayor!

Fool.

[Snowbird]

M: No...that won't do. She says she won't eat if you have handled meat today...

This is what I don't understand; if a cook's hands are tainted from touching meat once in a whole day, why doesn't it carry over to the next? Does sleep erase the sin of meat handling? Does it, like dailies, reset at a certain hour? Absolutely silly and entirely unreasonable. Oh yeah, it's an SC we're talking about.

As to the Holmes character... he needs a life. There are far more important things in this world to worry about than an upside down menu. Sheesh.

[rvdammit]

The answer to the menu problem is "Probably another customer having a joke."

[Rapscallion]

Had one like the vegetarian customer myself many moons back when I was a butcher. We did fruit and veg as well as butchery etc. She asked if I'd handled meat that day.

I looked down at my rather gory apron, looked up, and said, "Yes?"

Rapscallion