Huh? Really? Yeah, I care lady!

[shelly2jn]

Me: Lovely, fragrant and too ruddy nice for this job!
SC: Too stupid to know that if your ass is on fire put it out!

Me: (answering phone) Good morning (store & location) shelly speaking how can I help you?
SC: I bought a computer off you and now it's freezing and crashing and I think I have a virus
Me: umm...sorry, how can I help you with that? (said in a really non condescending tone of course)
SC: I bought the computer from you, there was no software installed and no anti virus thingy and I've been on the internet and now I have a virus (voice getting higher and higher so at the end only dogs could hear her) so it's your fault you sold me a computer with no virus thingy and it didn't even have windowwwwwsssss
Me: Umm, Ma'am when you purchase a computer from (store) the computer is really basic, that is why you purchased it for £289. We do not supply the software, we do not supply anti virus software. These are items that you must purchase for yourself. For your £289 you got a hard drive, monitor, keyboard, mouse, speakers and a printer/scanner. You must purchase the software to install in the computer yourself....that's why we can sell them so cheaply
SC: But you sold it to me
Me:
SC: But you sold it to me.....I want a refund.....I want your manager.....Wahhhhhhh!
Me: Ma'am I am the CSD manager and I'm sorry but I will not give you a refund on a computer that you failed to protect with the appropriate software...
(saying to ones self....yeah you buy the condom, you don't use the condom, you sue the condom company when you get pregnant!)

Repeat the above conversation a few times....watch the steam coming out of my ears, watch this happen.... you get the idea and then....

SC: So if I buy a cheap computer and there is no software on it you are telling me I have to install it myself? That is so not right how am I supposed to know blah blah blah blah (sorry I stopped listening)
Me: Yes, that's right, thank you for calling.....bye bye (click)

Never did hear from her again

[Channard]

I hear this crap all the time, peoples computers being ruined by viruses. Of course, when I sell a PC we offer them the antivirus stuff etc but they go 'oh, no, I can get it for free from a friend.' I explain that they don't get Microsoft Office as well, which seems to shock some people, but they accept it. Sometimes, though, I get a jackass who refuses to buy a computer unless we throw Office in. Yeah, like we're going to give you some software that sells for two hundred quid completely free.

[Cedophile]

(saying to ones self....yeah you buy the condom, you don't use the condom, you sue the condom company when you get pregnant!)

Actually, I think it's closer to say that you bought the human from God, and sued him because you didn't think to get the human protection during his "internet" excursions.

Though as far as computers go, viruses are curable. No analogy's perfect.

Still, for that price, seriously, how can you possibly be sad? You'd be hard up to find a system that cheap anywhere else.

[thewhatnow]

hahahaha I love you!