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Protip: Don't try to steal something heavy when you're already drunk and stupid.
Brief background: Really bad snow all evening, so a bunch of people couldn't make it, especially on night crew. We're normally 24 hour, but thanks to that we closed during night shift tonight.
Guy came in towards the end of my shift wanting to buy a case of beer. I got the impression he was kinda drunk already, but since I couldn't really smell it on him thanks to my sinuses, I just let it go. Took him over to SCO since there we no cashiers on, carded him, and went back to trying to get the returns put back before my shift was over. The office guy had been doing the same thing on the other end of the store, but I was staying close so I could get to SCO if the alert went off on the remote.
However, once Drunk Idiot realized he couldn't actually see either of us nearby, he got himself a brilliant plan. I heard the alert go off on the remote, saying that an item had been removed from his register before payment. I gave it 50/50 odds on him either being too stupid to use SCO right, or just trying to steal it. Turns out it was the latter.
I made it back when he was halfway to the door - just in time to see him stumble and drop the case, sending beer cans rolling all over the floor. He stood there a moment looking at the mess before going "uh... uh... oh shit." and running out the door to where an SUV was waiting for him. Me, office guy, and the old lady who'd been behind Drunk Idiot all got a nice laugh at how dumb he was, and office guy said he was pretty sure Drunk Idiot had been thrown out for shoplifting before, so he'd tell the management.
Brief background: Really bad snow all evening, so a bunch of people couldn't make it, especially on night crew. We're normally 24 hour, but thanks to that we closed during night shift tonight.
Guy came in towards the end of my shift wanting to buy a case of beer. I got the impression he was kinda drunk already, but since I couldn't really smell it on him thanks to my sinuses, I just let it go. Took him over to SCO since there we no cashiers on, carded him, and went back to trying to get the returns put back before my shift was over. The office guy had been doing the same thing on the other end of the store, but I was staying close so I could get to SCO if the alert went off on the remote.
However, once Drunk Idiot realized he couldn't actually see either of us nearby, he got himself a brilliant plan. I heard the alert go off on the remote, saying that an item had been removed from his register before payment. I gave it 50/50 odds on him either being too stupid to use SCO right, or just trying to steal it. Turns out it was the latter.
I made it back when he was halfway to the door - just in time to see him stumble and drop the case, sending beer cans rolling all over the floor. He stood there a moment looking at the mess before going "uh... uh... oh shit." and running out the door to where an SUV was waiting for him. Me, office guy, and the old lady who'd been behind Drunk Idiot all got a nice laugh at how dumb he was, and office guy said he was pretty sure Drunk Idiot had been thrown out for shoplifting before, so he'd tell the management.
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