Your baby caused a CRITICALLY EPIC FAIL.

[Shalom]

I can imagine the mom probably left a pile of used paper towels lying on the bathroom floor. And going home, telling hubby, "guess what happened today. I went to get an umbrella for the patio table but they don't have any! And Bubba had a little accident, and I didn't have any extra diapers on me so I used the pink insulation with that Pink Panther on it to make a temporary diaper."

Oh. Hell no. When I was young and dumb I used a wad of that stuff to clean windows with, having run out of paper towels. My hands itched for days. I shudder to think of the result if someone tried making a diaper out of that.

(Although this woman sounds dumb enough to try.)

[BookstoreEscapee]

Poor kid though, nothing but a diaper in this weather (I'm suspecting that the kid had a bad stomach bug and a previous incident). The mom doesn't sound like the brightest bulb in the lamp.

If that is the case, anyone with half a brain would have taken baby home. And had a change of clothes in the diaper bag. But I'm sure she neeeeeded all that stuff from the hardware store.

[depechemodefan]

I bet the baby did have clothes on, but as soon as she realized he was sick (maybe while in the car) she decided to pre-empt having dirty baby clothes, so took them off before he had an accident.

[XCashier]

If that is the case, anyone with half a brain would have taken baby home. And had a change of clothes in the diaper bag.

Ah, but you're assuming she had as much as half a brain to begin with.

[Dreamstalker]

Oh. Hell no. When I was young and dumb I used a wad of that stuff to clean windows with, having run out of paper towels. My hands itched for days.

I'm trying to prep a a fiberglass proton pack shell for painting. I haven't smoothed down the inside of it yet, and made the mistake of picking it up by an edge without gloves on (that was how I realized the inside needed to be worked on). Ow.

[Seshat]

As for being out with a nearly-naked baby...I can't help but wonder if baby had a previous incident on the way to the store...

That's why there's always at LEAST one change of clothes in the baby-stuff bag. At minimum. If I were in a snow zone, there'd either be two, or there'd be a supplementary baby-stuff bag in the car.

[derangedperson]

Is it wrong that I imagined Yakety Sax playing as I was reading this?

[skeptic53]

War Stories nominations are to be done through PMs to Ree or Raps (or a moderator?) ONLY! Requests in here will be ignored.

I'm aware of that rule, which is why I made a prediction, not a request... I assume lots of folk will PM the mods to request this.

[Mamadrae]

Nothing sucks more then a baby's assplosion.

Except being unprepared for one.

My son doesn't have them anymore but I still pack diapers in my purse since he doesn't have potty training down quite yet. Soon enough I'll be packing the smaller size for when #2 comes out in February.

[Lachrymose]

I am also a bad person because I laughed really loudly at this. Did anyone else have the Benny Hill/ Yakkity Sax music going in their heads as they read it?

Is it wrong that I imagined Yakety Sax playing as I was reading this?

You weren't the only one.

[Kristev]

That's a nightmare all ways round.

Firstly, because of little Miss Unprepared-Mommy. Someone nominate her for the Darwin awards, quickly! Baby practically nude in January. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Luckily, most of the time human waste is not truly considered a deadly biohazard unless it's in high amounts to spread disease, such as a leaking sewer system. But with all that bleach on the floor, your cleaning staff would have had a terrible time because you don't dare use any other chemicals with bleach. Trust me, you don't.

I can just see this happening at Mal-Mart.

Typically, the money would be washed, and disinfected, though you're in as much trouble from the disinfectants as you are from the bio-waste.

That's disgusting. But that's customers for you. Let's just admit it. They suck.

[Julesy]

And then they say that "money never stinks".

I must admit the story is epic, but I just can't get over the fact that the baby was wearing only a diaper - like you said, in this weather! *shudders* Poor thing!

[bsaana]

I will have to show this one to the wife. My little girl hasn't yet done anything that horrible. She has had some that leaked out and got the clothes, and even one when grandpa was holding her on his birthday (his 51st) that it went all the way through and got him.

It sucks having to deal with it and clean it up, but reading about it is so damned funny.

As for not having the baby clothed in this crappy weather.... Why, oh why are people so stupid? I know better than to ask, but these babies are the future... Take care of them.

[Magpie]

While I agree that baby probably ought to be wearing some clothes, I fail to see how this weather really makes a difference to that. Baby needs something warmer outside than is safe to wear in store which is kept at a constant 21 year round. What the baby wears inside and what the baby wears outside aren't really related. If I saw a mother inside with a baby wrapped warmly enough to go outside I'd be pretty horrified. And given how cold some stores are kept in the summer, I'd say it's just as bad then to have a kid in just a diaper.

[Broomjockey]

If I saw a mother inside with a baby wrapped warmly enough to go outside I'd be pretty horrified.

*sigh* I know I'm setting myself up for Fratching territory, I know, but I really gotta ask: You expect a parent to remove winter clothing from a child young enough to be in diapers every time they go in to a store, then put them back on every time they leave? At most, I'd expect headgear, mittens off, and coat unzipped. Anything more and you're just setting yourself up for the expedition to be exponentially longer. Especially if you need to go to more than one location.