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I work in a call centre, dealing with internet sales and billing enquiries, and I answered the phone as usual and the following conversation ensues...
There is lot's of swearing on the customers part (you have been warned). The customer was yelling and spoke so fast it was pretty much impossible to understand him....
SC = Sucky Customer
Me = Me
Me: "Thank you for calling .... You're speaking with scorpionf, how can I help with your internet enquiry today?"
SC: "Now you listen f*ckingto me, I was put on f*cking* hold and the f*cking idiot told me they were transferring me to another f*cking department, and they f*cking hung up on me and all I want is the f*cking discount that I was f*cking promised and I keep f*cking calling and keep getting told it will be on my next f*cking bill and it never f*cking is, instead that f*cking idiot f*cking hung up on me so I have to waste my money calling you f*cking idiots again”
Me: “Do you have your account number there so that I can locate your account and investigate that for you?”
SC: “No, I don’t f*cking have my account number, you should be able to find my f*cking account without me giving you the f*cking account number”
Me: “Can I please confirm your full name and date of birth?”
SC: “Sucky Customer, 10/11/1966” (I typed this into notepad so I would not have to ask him again when I found his account)
Me: “Do you have the main email address associated with your account?”
SC: *prattles off email address so fast I have no chance of understanding him*
Me: “would you please be able to spell that out for me?”
SC: *spells it out so fast I have no idea what he has just spelled out*
Me: “I did not catch that, would you please be able to repeat that?”
SC: “How f*cking incompetant are you that you cannot even find my f*cking account, I want to speak with your f*cking supervisor but before you do that you better f*cking give me your staff ID number because I am reporting you to the f*cking ombudsman” (while he is ranting and raving, I found his account by the slowest search method – using his name)
Me:”I am unable to give out my staff ID number, as it is against company policy and it makes up a part”
SC: (cuts me off) “By law you are required to give me your staff ID when I ask for it”
Me: “We are not required by law to give out our staff ID numbers and as I have already”
SC: (cuts me off again) “I want to speak to your f*cking supervisor right fu*cking now so I can tell them how f*cking incompetant you f*cking are, you could not even find my f*cking account”
My supervisor then took over the call, refused to give out his staff Id and also tried to explain to the customer why we could not get it out, and he then wanted to make a formal complaint about my supervisor too, so my supervisor gave him the customer relations address to put his complaint in writing. The customer did not even get to speak to the department he needed to, to get the discount applied because he spent sp much time abusing me and my supervisor that the department had been closed for 20 mins... So he would have had to have called back the followin day to speak to them about the discount, because he could not be transferred to them
On the plus side, my supervisor did not just take the customers side, and actually said to the customer “If you were talking to my staff the way you are talking to me, I am not surprised it took her a couple of minutes to find your account”
There is lot's of swearing on the customers part (you have been warned). The customer was yelling and spoke so fast it was pretty much impossible to understand him....
SC = Sucky Customer
Me = Me
Me: "Thank you for calling .... You're speaking with scorpionf, how can I help with your internet enquiry today?"
SC: "Now you listen f*ckingto me, I was put on f*cking* hold and the f*cking idiot told me they were transferring me to another f*cking department, and they f*cking hung up on me and all I want is the f*cking discount that I was f*cking promised and I keep f*cking calling and keep getting told it will be on my next f*cking bill and it never f*cking is, instead that f*cking idiot f*cking hung up on me so I have to waste my money calling you f*cking idiots again”
Me: “Do you have your account number there so that I can locate your account and investigate that for you?”
SC: “No, I don’t f*cking have my account number, you should be able to find my f*cking account without me giving you the f*cking account number”
Me: “Can I please confirm your full name and date of birth?”
SC: “Sucky Customer, 10/11/1966” (I typed this into notepad so I would not have to ask him again when I found his account)
Me: “Do you have the main email address associated with your account?”
SC: *prattles off email address so fast I have no chance of understanding him*
Me: “would you please be able to spell that out for me?”
SC: *spells it out so fast I have no idea what he has just spelled out*
Me: “I did not catch that, would you please be able to repeat that?”
SC: “How f*cking incompetant are you that you cannot even find my f*cking account, I want to speak with your f*cking supervisor but before you do that you better f*cking give me your staff ID number because I am reporting you to the f*cking ombudsman” (while he is ranting and raving, I found his account by the slowest search method – using his name)
Me:”I am unable to give out my staff ID number, as it is against company policy and it makes up a part”
SC: (cuts me off) “By law you are required to give me your staff ID when I ask for it”
Me: “We are not required by law to give out our staff ID numbers and as I have already”
SC: (cuts me off again) “I want to speak to your f*cking supervisor right fu*cking now so I can tell them how f*cking incompetant you f*cking are, you could not even find my f*cking account”
My supervisor then took over the call, refused to give out his staff Id and also tried to explain to the customer why we could not get it out, and he then wanted to make a formal complaint about my supervisor too, so my supervisor gave him the customer relations address to put his complaint in writing. The customer did not even get to speak to the department he needed to, to get the discount applied because he spent sp much time abusing me and my supervisor that the department had been closed for 20 mins... So he would have had to have called back the followin day to speak to them about the discount, because he could not be transferred to them
On the plus side, my supervisor did not just take the customers side, and actually said to the customer “If you were talking to my staff the way you are talking to me, I am not surprised it took her a couple of minutes to find your account”
What a tool. 
I AM the evil bastard!
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