Crackin skulls...

[it'srefurbished?]

Sometimes on certain days, customers with particularily rediculous sob stories, if they are nice enough, can make you do things you normally wouldn't do. Working as a PC technician I get calls daily about stupid software issues, problems with such and such programs, et cetera. Any other retail PC tech can probably confirm this. Now, it's NOT my job to help with these issues. Software problems are not covered under warranty and I am not a phone support line. You can call me to ask questions, but I cannot and WILL NOT walk you through it over the phone. But me, being the nice guy that I am decided to help one such lady. She actually used to call almost daily asking things like "Why does it say someone else logged into my yahoo?" like I'm supposed to know. I'm a tech, I know everything about every software ever!

Her husband actually called at one point and I spoke with him. He was actually fairly reasonable and he explained to me that said lady had a fall and cracked her skull open, thus her loopiness and the over all sense that she wasn't all there when she's talking. He even said that it probably wasn't a problem, she just doesn't know how to use the computer. Bless her heart I know it's not her fault, but when you are a business time is money and people like that are time sinks in the extreme which is not good for me when I have other shit to do, budgets to hit, etc. In this case I was willing to help these folks out so I told him to bring it down, we'd book it in and have a look at it free of charge.

The unit comes and goes without much trouble and I don't hear back from them for about a month and a half. This tuesday I get a call. I'm not sure who it is at first but after she describes the problem, coupled with her slow, disjointed and slurred speech I realised...

SC: Yeah... I'm having problems with my antivirus...

ME: I see, can you describe the problem to me?

SC: Well, it says that there are two issues and there is a fix button beside it and it doesn't do anything when I click it.

ME: Ok, I understand. I've seen this happen before. Quickest and easiest fix is to re-install the program...

SC: *Whining* I don't know how to dooooooo thaaaaaaaaat!

ME: Right. Ok well in that case I'd suggest calling the antivirus support line, they will be able to help you out much better than I can.

SC: *Whining* I doooon't know how to doooooo thaaaaaaat!

ME: *frustrated* Ok, I'll tell you what, bring it down and I can look at it for you.

SC: *Whining* My husband is going to be so mad if he has to bring it back there...

ME: Ok, well that's as much assistance as I can give you over the phone so it's up to you what you'd like to do.

At this point she starts making what I call "disgruntled customer noises". Most of you are probably aware of these, you know: huffing and puffing, deep and long sighs, grunts and et cetera. The phone goes silent save for the sound of here heavy breathing for about 30 seconds. At first I figured she was just tinkering with stuff on her PC but after a while I became a little confused.

ME: So are you going to try re-installing the application?

All I hear is breathing, but no answer.

ME: Hello?

At this point another female voice picks up. We'll call her Mysterious Woman.

WM: I'm sorry we're going to have to call you back.

I'm so relieved that she's finally off my back and I get back to work. I should have known this wasn't the end however. I get a call the very next day. At first I wasn't aware who it was but I was about to discover the horrifying truth.

ME: Thank you for holding, service department, *Name* speaking. How can I help you?

SC: *Heavy breathing, sounds like she just ran a mile*

ME: Hello?

SC: *Bewildered* Helluh...?

ME: Hi, this is *name* in service, how can I help you?

SC: Hello... who's dis?

ME: *impatient* This is *name* in service, how can I help you?

SC: Hi, I'm having problems with my antivirus...

ME:

SC: I called yesterday and, and, and... and I was so upset that I fell over and cracked my skull open again. I had to be rushed to the hospital...

ME: Oh wow... I'm very sorry to hear that... (In my head I'm repeating "You have got to be fucking kidding me" over and over and over...)

At this point it dawns on me. The mysterious woman must have found her on the ground, cracked skull and all and that's why she picked up the call. I basically upset her so much that she physically fell over and cracked her skull open again! I was incredulous.

SC: *pleading* Can you pleeeeeeease walk me through this on the phone? My husband will be so mad if he has to come down again...

ME: I'm sorry ma'am but I cannot, hold on just one sec I'm going to get you the phone number to call the support line.

SC: Uh...

ME: *Puts on hold*

Maybe I'm terrible for laughing, but a combination of being so jaded and the whole situation being just so damn rediculous it was the only thing I could do. Luckily the sales guy told her to get her husband to deal with us as he's a bit more knowledgable and it will be much easier for both parties. She agrees and hangs up.

Next time I'm going for a heart attack...

[Zeddmore]

A part of me is thinking "Aww, poor woman."

But the better part of me is thinking "Whoa, dude, you broke an SC's head over the phone! Teach me, master!"

[Sliceanddice]

you know it really isnt cool to mock a woman with a head injury, she honestly doesnt have the ability anymore to comprehend the issue and needs help.
Yes you should be saying "i am sorry i am unable to help you, if you need help call X-XXX-XXX-XXXX, do you need me to repeat that number so you can write i down?"

the real SC is her husband, while yes he was nice but hes leaving his poor wife to handle issues she can really fix, and if she does have help around the house for these types of things that she wont be able to fix, he is the SC.

[Broomjockey]

you know it really isnt cool to mock a woman with a head injury

It also isn't cool to preach and tell people what they should have done. The deed is done. Leave it alone.

[Shironu-Akaineko]

My question is, if she cracked her skull open, what is she doing on the phone the NEXT DAY?

[Jester]

I would like to point out that "hitting your head" is a lot different than "cracking your skull open." I'm sorry, but I just have trouble believing that she did anything more than hit her head, maybe get a cut or a bruise. To actually crack a skull open requires serious traumatic force, such that it is virtually a guarantee that she would NOT be on the phone the next day. Period.

[TelephoneAngel]

I don't know if this was just a sob story but I once had a customer on the phone who kept breathing heavily and telling me to "just hurry up"....................because she was in labor and standing in a phone box HAVING A BABY RIGHT THAT MINUTE

[Polenicus]

Hang on...

If the phone was right next to her head, close enough for you to hear her breathing, grunting and making said 'dissatisfied customer noises', wouldn't you have HEARD said headklunk? I can barely shift a phone from one ear to the other without the receiver picking up the sounds of my fumbling.

I call shenanigans on that part. I DO suspect the poor woman was confused and upset, and probably had something of a mental BSOD over being told 'no'

[it'srefurbished?]

I would like to point out that "hitting your head" is a lot different than "cracking your skull open." I'm sorry, but I just have trouble believing that she did anything more than hit her head, maybe get a cut or a bruise. To actually crack a skull open requires serious traumatic force, such that it is virtually a guarantee that she would NOT be on the phone the next day. Period.

Hey, I'm just going by what she told me!



And for those who say I shouldn't mock her. I guess I'm kind of a dick, but I really could care less.

[Android Kaeli]

I am also with the others that have said that this woman wouldn't have been able to call anyone, much less for her computer, if she had anything worse then a bump on the head. If she really did crack her skull open, I'd assume the last thing on anyone's mind at that point is fixing a computer -- fixing the poor woman's injuries would be far more important. If she's using a small bump on the head as an excuse to get something for free, then I wouldn't help her or her husband again.

[it'srefurbished?]

She actually called again today.

Same questions, same answers.

Oh, they never learn!

[Broomjockey]

Oh, they never learn!

Maybe it's like the movie Memento?

[Ironclad Alibi]

the real SC is her husband, while yes he was nice but hes leaving his poor wife to handle issues she can really fix, and if she does have help around the house for these types of things that she wont be able to fix, he is the SC.

Her husband may not know about these phone calls, or her problem with the anti-virus. She doesn't want to upset him, so she doesn't tell him about the problems.

[Seshat]

I recommend stonewalling her: basically telling her that you're aware she's disabled and can't properly understand computer stuff, and you'll gladly work with her husband on the topic.

Rinse and repeat until her husband discusses the "antivirus problem" with you, or she goes away.

If a person really is too disabled to handle a situation, but has a carer, the carer really should be the one to handle it.

[zzapp the witch]

Um. in high school we had one of the skaters fall and literally crack his skull open on the pavement, he was on bed rest for 6 months. I think that "cracking skulls" may be over-simplifying (and slightly misleading from) the real situation. She could have had a head injury that not only causes the slurred speech and forgetfulness, but puts her brain into a kind of "loop" of regular habits, or things she has to do every day, or every so often. You may have become one of those things that she feels compelled to do as part of the loop. Brain/head injuries are strange animals. Doing what Seshat suggested could "retrain" her, so-to-speak. I dunno, I'm far from a brain surgeon.