Uncle Khiras summons up the energy to post (Vulger, as always)

[Jay 2K Winger]

Re: Callers putting YOU on hold.

I've had something similar happen once at the wholesale club. I was on the front line, monitoring the self-checkout lanes when I answer the phone. I do the usual greeting, but before I can get around to helping the caller with their problem (I forget what it was), suddenly they go, "Oop, hold on," and then I realize I've been put on hold.

I actually looked at the receiver, went "Well, fuck you, then," and hung up. My (now former) manager Mama Awesome was the MOD and gave me a shocked look when she heard me say that.

J2K: "They called us, and put me on hold."
MA: "Well, fuck them, then."
J2K: "That's what I said!"

[Pagan]

Sausage Offerer

Maybe he could drive, but going by airplane sure as hell wasn't going to happen without him getting clubbed like a baby seal. So what was the plan anyway?

Well, at least they wouldn't have to worry about him having a bomb in his underpants....

This means that I've gone quite mad and COWBOY UNICORNS ON THE PRAIRIE!!! EEEHHH HEE HEE HEE HEE!!!

Charlie!!

Dude, it's usually a swipe card these days.

Stop that right now!

Anyone got extra brain bleach? I just ran out.

Let me know if you find some, please!

[mikoyan29]

Don't touch it...It's Evillllll!!!!

[bainsidhe]

Maybe the nudist came from Pheonix.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35266013/ns/us_news/

[PepperElf]

Hobo: Hey, want to touch my balls?
Me: I will stab you in the neck with a fucking spork.

hehe... i like that one

Where would he put his room key?)

all i can think of now is Jack Harkness and his hidden gun
Robot thing: Where the hell did that come from?
Capt Jack Harkness (naked): You don't want to know.

[MaseMan]

The being put on hold thing reminds me of occasionally when telemarketers call my business. Once in a great while, I'll accidentally pick up and give our standard friendly greeting. What is really irritating is when you get that 2-3 seconds of dead air followed by a "Hello? HELLO?"

My response is usually an obviously irritated: "You're calling me. What do you want?" It's then funny to hear them stammer and try to give some lame sales pitch, only for me to cut them off and say, "Not interested, thanks," and then hang up.

[Pagan]

all i can think of now is Jack Harkness and his hidden gun
Robot thing: Where the hell did that come from?
Capt Jack Harkness (naked): You don't want to know.

And that reminds me of "At World's End" in Sao Fang's lair when Elizabeth pulls that last gun out. Love the puzzled look on Barbossa's face!

[Mamadrae]

I am somewhat guilty of the asking folks to hold on, but it's usually a "I'm sorry can you please hold on one second." and the phone goes with me. I'm sure they can hear me telling my 3 year old not to beat the dog or the like. Thankfully folks don't seem to get to aggravated about it but I do my best to keep it quick and let them get back to work.

[guitardude1987]

I've had people call the restaurant I work at during a lunch rush to call in their order, then have the gall to put me on hold. My solution? I hang up.

[Andara Bledin]

All you people who hang up on callers; you suck.

Just sayin'

Seriously, though, if I call somewhere from my workplace, there is a 50% chance that somebody will interrupt me during the call. I'd have to lock myself in a supply closet to avoid it, and there's a good chance they'd track me down. I don't have the luxury of uninterrupted time at work, and if it's something that needs to happen during "business hours" then that's where I'm going to be, because my normal work shift is "business hours." Funny that.

Which reminds me, the one time I tried to have an uninterrupted lunch time and told the competence-challenged receptionist to take a message, I don't think she did. *sigh*

^-.-^

[Jamesroe]

(We're still only 1/3 of the way through finishing a reservation)

SC: Yeah, I have a meeting to be in, can we hurry this up?

Ok, lesson in etiquette: I don't give a shit. You called me you raving asshole. If you had a meeting to go to, you should have planned better and either called earlier, or called afterward. If anything, I am now more likely to go SLOWER in this conversation than I am to speed it up because, you see, we don't like people who do this sort of thing. Despite what you may think, you are taking up our time, not the other way around.

When they say that, I'll generally speed up, its a great excuse to avoid having to 'engage' with them and rush through the call.

I once had a business customer put me on hold for half an hour. I did keep the line open but took a few more calls on Line 2. She was NOT happy when i came back to her because I made she had to wait for me to finish my last call and get back to her. FFS!

[Wenchie]

All you people who hang up on callers; you suck.

Just sayin'

Seriously, though, if I call somewhere from my workplace, there is a 50% chance that somebody will interrupt me during the call. I'd have to lock myself in a supply closet to avoid it, and there's a good chance they'd track me down. I don't have the luxury of uninterrupted time at work, and if it's something that needs to happen during "business hours" then that's where I'm going to be, because my normal work shift is "business hours." Funny that.

Which reminds me, the one time I tried to have an uninterrupted lunch time and told the competence-challenged receptionist to take a message, I don't think she did. *sigh*

^-.-^

There's a difference between someone who asks nicely and say "I'm sorry, can I put you on hold for a second?" and someone who just puts you on hold. The first will get a nice response and I'll wait. The second gets hung up on.

ESPECIALLY when I answer a call and I hear hold music. The longest I've ever seen someone hold in our queue was about 15 min. Most of the time, we pick up calls within 2 minutes or less. When I pick up a call that's been in the queue for 33 seconds and I hear hold music, I say "I didn't want to talk to you either" and hang up.

[Sauletekis]

All you people who hang up on callers; you suck.

Just sayin'

To be fair, when you are judged solely on stats, it really sucks to be put on hold after answering a call. My current call centre rocks - we answer most calls within 20 seconds and emphasis is on exceedingly amazing customer service rather than just numbers. This is the exception in call centre land rather than the rule.

I usally give holders 1 minute, and then try to call them back 5 or so minutes later. It is more fair on the folks waiting in the queue, and then everyone is happy - I answer another call, another customer is served, and the interrupted customer gets my full attention once they've finished what they're doing.