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Terminal Stupidity Threshold

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  • #16
    You're looking at this all wrong.

    Dear customer:

    Thank you for your interesting challenge! After giving this a great deal of thought, I have invented a new means of advertising for your company. Of course, since no one has access to the successor of the internet, which I call the Taboo-net, you can't see my work. But don't worry, as soon as your potential customers find it, they'll be beating down your door with orders! I would like to send you instructions as to how you can view your ads on the Taboo-net, but unfortunately, sending them to you via the internet would violate your requirements for secrecy.

    Tell you what, just pay me forty-bazillion dollars in Taboo-bucks. These are the virtual dollars that your virtual customers will be paying for their virtual orders on the Taboo-net. I decided I needed to reinvent the monetary system too.

    Love to chat, but I have to go reinvent the wheel now.
    Women can do anything men can.
    But we don't because lots of it's disgusting.
    Maxine

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    • #17
      Send them a price quote for building a giant laser that will write their business name on the surface of the Moon?

      (If Chairface Chipendale can do it, it shouldn't be too hard, right?)

      Snail-mail it to them... why email if it's an 'outdated means of communication'?
      "Kamala the Ugandan Giant" 1950-2020 • "Bullet" Bob Armstrong 1939-2020 • "Road Warrior Animal" 1960-2020 • "Zeus" Tiny Lister Jr. 1958-2020 • "Hacksaw" Butch Reed 1954-2021 • "New Jack" Jerome Young 1963-2021 • "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff 1949-2021 • "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton 1958-2021 • Daffney 1975-2021

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      • #18
        Quoth El Pollo Guerrera View Post
        a giant laser
        I like how you think.

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        • #19
          Quoth El Pollo Guerrera View Post
          Send them a price quote for building a giant laser that will write their business name on the surface of the Moon?
          "The Man Who Sold The Moon" RAH - 1950
          I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
          Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
          Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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          • #20
            Perhaps James Cameron or Al Gore can get on that right away for them.
            https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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            • #21
              I'd just say that seeing as e-mail is an online and thus inefficient form of communication, please find a new way to contact me.

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              • #22
                Something else caught my eye:

                They want a secret method of advertising? They want to advertise to the masses in a way that no one can access? Just who is their target audience? Seems to me that, since they want to advertise to no one, they will not have a budget (or even a job) anytime soon...
                I will not be pushed, stamped, filed, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. My life is my own. --#6

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