Idiotic questions or comments...

[toolbert]

I actually had someone order a cheeseburger without cheese once while I was working at McD's. Then again, they had a reason. They had a coupon for a free cheeseburger, but only wanted a hamburger. I still had to ring it up as a cheeseburger for the coupon to go through.

just like these hamburger stories, my friend had the best ones at in and out in San Jose. We were up pretty late, thought In and Out would be good to get and stroll into the store. I order mine, then he steps up and places his order. I almost died laughing after I heard it and saw the servers face. He ordered a Double Double, animal style and no onions. For those of you who know what that is...let it soak in.....ok, got it? For those who don't know, animal style is where they take the onions and grill them with a bit of mustard (or their thousand island secret sauce) and put them on the burger. So basically, he was asking them to just make the onions then toss em. I still get him with jokes of that everytime I see him.

[Mr. Rager!]

I don't think I've had to deal with any high or drunk people, but I do get my fair share of stupid questions. I just stopped pretending like it's ok to be dumb.

Me: Lawn and Garden, can I help you?
SC: Is this long and garden?
Me: That is what I said... what can I help you with?
SC: Are you open?
Me: We don't answer the phone when we're closed, so I'd say yes.
SC: Ok, I need...

Me: Now this is a four-cycle engine, so you won't have to mix the gas and oil. Just use straight 30 weight oil.
SC: So, what kind of oil mixture will I need to use?
Me: Like I said before, just straight 30 weight because it's a four-cycle engine.

At my other job

Me: I got those reports entered into the database, and I'm working on your dictations.
Dr: Did you get those reports into the database?
Me: I believe that's what I said.
Dr: Oh... you did say that. Sorry.

[Bella_Vixen]

I think I posted this on one of the old boards but...

Last summer, there was a bad thunderstorm that knocked out the power in some locals around here. One of the affected areas was the neighborhood up the hill behind my gas station. Anyways...I wander into work (our electricity was just fine, thank you), and everything was going just fine.

Keep in mind that ALL the lights (inside and out) were on.
I was ringing up customers as fast as I could.
The pumps were in use.
Our store radio was BLARING.
Etc.

This one guys comes in, looks around, and says...


Wait for it.


"Is your electricity on?"

[werewolffan98]

At a Renaissance Faire,

SC1: is that sword real? Can i touch it?

ME: Yes. No you may not or you'll get cut and sue us.

SC2: Are you people like the Amish?

ME: no.

Sc3: where are the privies?

ME: how bad do you have to go because there was a huge sign in back of me saying privies.

[theredbaron47]

*customer walks in the door, walks PAST the aisle full of nothing but light bulbs, and walks up to me at the service desk, BEYOND the light bulb aisle*

"Where are your light bulbs?"

[stickycoins]

How much is this?(holding up a 2 liter of Coke while standing right in front of the display that says in HUGE numbers that it's $1.19)

[FastFoodFlunky]

Today, I was taking orders in drive-thru. This lady ordered just a Frosty. She wanted me to make SURE it was chocolate because the last time she came here, "we gave her vanilla."

......Wendy's has only had chocolate Frostys since the first store opened 36 years ago

(OT: But for those who don't know, Wendy's is getting the vanilla Frosty starting next month!)

When she came to the window, she was a rather pleasant elderly lady, so I simply shrugged it off and thought she probably had us confused with Burger King across the street.

[CherryCokeKissez]

We do have one stoner that stands out in my memory...he didn't really say anything incoherent or senseless except for one thing...
He came in with his buddy, who did all the talking, and we sat them down in a booth (good thing too, Stoner was so wobbly he might have fallen out of a chair!). About ten minutes or so after they sat down, Stoner goes to the bathroom. His friend stays at the table as Stoner wanders to the bathroom (which we have to point out to him) by himself. When he gets back to the bathroom, he wobbles back over to us and asks, "Do you know where my boy is?"
I look over at his table, his friend hasn't moved.
Me: "He's over there, at your table."

Then he got up again, wandered around outside, someone (not any of the employees) called the cops on him, the cops showed up because of a report of "a drunk guy wandering around in the back of the lot", by this time his friend had gone out to get him, brought him back and Stoner has fallen asleep in the booth and is just about to fall over when the cops showed up! They escourt both of the guys out, though both cops and guys hang around outside for a bit, then eventually they all leave and the restaurant goes back to being very dead.

[Imogene]

Hmmm...
Old story, but still f*cking bizarre...

A hint to the clueless, I worked in a 'Movie Store', says so right in the name.

One day, I was standing toward the back of the store, talking to the old SM about something (forget what), as it's stone dead. In walks a middle aged, balding guy, and he walks through the store, right past the homophobic AM, who was standing behind the counter, just kind of existing (and only 'kind of'). Guy walks right up to me, having walked through the entirety of the store, minus a few feet, and asked:
"Do you guys sell furniture?"

Shall I remove the blinders for you, sir? You just walked between the racks of MOvies we sell here...?

Guy waits a moment before continuing with something vaguely resembling:
"I mean, like, director's chairs? Or popcorn machines?"

*blink, blink* Okay, director's chairs I can see, but popcorn machines are NOT furniture. But at least he did kind of have a reasonin behind his mind killer question.

[JustAGirl]

Probably the stupidest question is when people come late to their movie, I tell them it is 10 minutes into the movie, PAST the previews, and then they ask, "yeah, but that's just the previews right? It's not into the movie yet."

I could see why they said that though, I mean, if you said "you won't miss the movie, you'll just miss the previews" I don't think they would say that. When you say its "10 minutes into the movie" that makes ME think that I've just missed 10 minutes of the movie...

[Dips]

A better brand of idiot

This question was asked of a American Revolution re-enactor at the soldiers' encampment:

[Pointing] Is that a real fire?

Nope. It's just an incredibly realistic audio-animatronic of a fire. It was expensive and quite tricky to program (not to mention the logistics for getting Boston Edison to run an underground electric cable to the middle of this corn field to power the thing; the electric meter is hidden under the seat in the outhouse; you can see it if you stick your head in the hole).

We're very proud of how realistic it came out. It even smells like the real thing. It doesn't give off any heat, though. You can stick you hand in and not even feel it.

[Tikki]

When I worked at a large arcade at the local amusement park, I was always getting asked where our change machines were. I'd point to the one at the end of a bank of video games, not 20 feet from my station, in direct line of sight and tell them, "There." Nine times out of ten, they wandered right on past it.

[AFpheonix]

My favorite from this last week was a lady who managed to get past the automated greeting, "Thank you for calling your 24 hour Walgreens, located at blah blah, with convenient drive through service....", managed to get to me, with my standard greeting, "Walgreens pharmacy, this is Phe, how can I help you?"
To which she asked "Who did I call? Oh! I think I have the wrong number!" and hung up.

Plus the countless hordes that call to ask our hours, or the people that walk under the huge "24 hours" sign and ask us when we close, blah blah
(Although, in there defence, there are groceries that are 24 hours in which the pharmacies close sooner)

[batmoody]

*customer walks in the door, walks PAST the aisle full of nothing but light bulbs, and walks up to me at the service desk, BEYOND the light bulb aisle*

"Where are your light bulbs?"

When a customer asks us where something is, we are required to ask if they would like us to show them. I love it when they ask about something that is like a foot away. I get to say, "It's right here (pointing). Would you like me to show you?" They have to think I am being a smart ass, but it is required that I make that "offer".
They wouldn't want the employees to actually paractice any discretion.

[Primer]

This question was asked of a American Revolution re-enactor at the soldiers' encampment:

[Pointing] Is that a real fire?

We do a lot of Civil War era stuff and have a working replica of an 1841 Napoleonic 6-lb smooth bore cannon.

We get, "Is it real?" all the time.

Yes, it's a real replica.

Yes, it shoots.

No, we will not be shooting live rounds today, just blanks.

Yes, we have shot live rounds.

No, we are not going to shoot it while we are IN the parade.

No you may NOT stand in front of the barrel when we do shoot it, even if we are shooting only blanks (although, I may really, really want to let you ).

Yes, we are hot wearing wool in Texas in the summer. Wool does not burn, it smoulders, and is easily extinguished.

No, you may not play with the black powder or the friction primers.

Any other (SC) questions?