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Wherein I Am Physically Molested. Again.

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  • #31
    Quoth Magpie View Post
    And at this junction I must ask: since people further South doesn't seem to know The Cremation of Sam McGee, what poems to teenagers memorize to creep out their less literate peers?
    I'm from southern California, and I've known it since I was a wee tot. However, that might have something to do with much of my family having come from the northern New England states prior to moving to the opposite corner of the country.

    As for poems read to make people look at you sidewise, many of Shel Silverstein's are an excellent choice. Boa Constrictor is a perennial favorite, of course.

    Then there's Ogden Nash. I once received a good chunk of extra credit for memorizing Adventures of Isabel and reciting it in class.

    ^-.-^
    Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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    • #32
      This is what a book dork I am - I went straight to my Collected Works of Robert Service to re-read the poem before posting. I'm more familiar with The Ballad of How MacPherson Held the Floor since it is recited at nearly every St. Andrew's dinner I've ever been to.

      Oh, and Gravekeeper - I love your city too.

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      • #33
        Sam McGee was required reading in school up here. Amongst other things. -.-

        I do bring a backpack to work, but the Pack Defense doesn't work for me because I'm too Canadian. It would be impolite of me to take up two seats. I only use the Pack Defense if indeed my pack is too heavily loaded to be crammed under my legs on the floor.

        I never seat in a double seat normally unless the Skytrain/Bus is almost utterly empty but the single seats are taken. Skytrain V1 only has 4 single seats per car ( There's 8 technically, but the other 4 are the ones where you sit sideways with someone's knees weighed into your kidneys ). V2 has even less at 4. V3, the Black Chariot, has a shit ton, and is my preferred method of transportation.

        But I'm apparently still stupid enough to believe that if there are 20 free seats around me, no one's going to be enough of a freak to sit RIGHT next to me. Despite how many times I've been proven wrong. I still naively cling to hope.


        Quoth Jester
        To be fair, GK, by your own accounting it's been a while since you've had some action, so perhaps you missed out on a golden opportunity. Just a thought.
        I'm not that desperate. -.-

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        • #34
          Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
          I'm not that desperate. -.-
          cuddletarts are normally a poor choice anyway, my poor boy had one crawl in bed with him because she got 'lonely' in the guest bed. clearly you need someone just as snarky as you are GK. May I suggest my engineer/computer techie landlady that hates humanity?
          Me to a friend: I know I'm crazy, you know I'm crazy, the zombies at the end of the world will know I'm crazy. Thus not eating my brain for fear of ingesting the crazy. It's my survival plan.

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          • #35
            Quoth Magpie View Post
            The pack defense system doesn't work even here (and we have low ridership). It will just force you to actually interact with someone, when they tell you to take it off the seat.
            It works, if executed properly. Firstly, if there are plenty of empty seats on the vehicle, why are they TELL (not ask, but tell according to you) you to move your pack so they can there? My response? A polite, "Sorry, I have a lot of stuff, and there are plenty of other seats." Assuming I respond at all.

            Frankly, when I am forced into mass transit mode, I bring a book. I also (as noted earlier) tend to have a metric shit ton of stuff in my pack, making it rather formidable, and very obviously so. So there I am, kicking it with my nose in my book, oblivious by design to the outside world, not only to deter annoying fellow commuters, but because frankly, the only thing I can think to do on mass transit to entertain myself is either read or play video games. And I don't really have video games. And my hefty backpack is there on the seat next to me, to the outside world not to be rude and eter others, but because it's, well, large. Finally, in addition to everything else, I tend to carry a look of utter and total indifference. It looks like I don't care. Probably because, frankly, I don't. I will definitely move my pack if someone needs the seat. But if there are other available seats? Um, no. Thanks. I am not jamming this monstrosity between my legs just because you can't be bothered to avail yourself of one of the other very available seats.

            "But Jester, what if it's a hot chick?" Maybe an exception there. I say maybe, because my experience has been that, more often than not, hot chicks on mass transit are nuttier than the treasure trove of a squirrel commune. And the whole idea of the pack defense system is to keep the crazies away. Even if they are tasty to look at. And besides....other than providing eye candy, just what the hell is a hot chick sitting next to me on mass transit going to do for me? Generally speaking, not a damn thing. I mean, I have picked up a number of girls in a number of unusual and unorthodox places. Total number of women picked up, phone numbers gotten, or information exchanged at all on mass transit in my lifetime: big fat zero.

            Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
            I do bring a backpack to work, but the Pack Defense doesn't work for me because I'm too Canadian. It would be impolite of me to take up two seats. I only use the Pack Defense if indeed my pack is too heavily loaded to be crammed under my legs on the floor.
            Time to start putting too much stuff in your pack. And frankly, I have to correct you. It is impolite to take up two seats when there are no other available seats. It is not, however, impolite to do so when there are a myriad of other seating options available to your fellow travelers.

            Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
            But I'm apparently still stupid enough to believe that if there are 20 free seats around me, no one's going to be enough of a freak to sit RIGHT next to me. Despite how many times I've been proven wrong. I still naively cling to hope.
            Thank you, GK. It is so rare that I am presented an opportunity to quote someone as famous and brilliant as Albert Einstein. But herein you have availed me of just such an opportunity.

            "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

            Having traveled mass transit all this time now, you have learned, and the evidence continues to show you, that if you allow them to, the crazies will flock to you, people you don't know or want to know will sit down next to you in an otherwise empty car, and while you hope this will change, it never does. Time to start doing the sane thing and listening to what the world is telling you.



            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
            Still A Customer."

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            • #36
              Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
              , but the Pack Defense doesn't work for me because I'm too Canadian.
              Ah, try this bag, by wearing it on your undefended side (towards the empty seat) it prevents anyone snuggling up to you!
              A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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              • #37
                Quoth Jester View Post
                "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
                [/URL]
                .....touche, my friend, touche.

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                • #38
                  Quoth Magpie View Post
                  And at this junction I must ask: since people further South doesn't seem to know The Cremation of Sam McGee, what poems to teenagers memorize to creep out their less literate peers? I don't know any others like that, which means that my friends might not know them either, and I will get to be the one to disturb everyone again! Mwahahahah! *ahem*
                  I was fond of Poe and this other guy... William something... It's been so long since I've read ANY decent poetry that I've completely forgotten who the gent is. And I know that I loved his work. Last name began with an A... I think.
                  "FUCK NO I DON'T WANT YOUR FREAKY ALIEN MOTHERSHIP ORANGES. " - Cookiesaur
                  ~~

                  Munkie's NaNo WC: 9648

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