Tips for the Checkout (language)

[Tama]

Sorry to the other thread for ripping off your title, but...D:

1. Your Bags

You have recyclable bags, that can be used again and again! That's great for the environment.

However--don't get huffy with me when you decide not to tell me that you have the bags until I've already bagged half your fucking order in I'll-be-here-til-you-rot-and-your-descendants-rot plastic bags.

2. Your Heavy Items

You have a large dog. That's cool, I like dogs. What's not cool is when you put your 40 LB bag of dog food on the belt and expect me, a 5' , 140 LB woman, to be able to lift and scan it. Don't also give me the stinkeye when I scan the bag, and then reach behind it for the items behind it. It's a hint, asshole.

Points if you have more than one bag, and/or 24 packs of soda.

3. Lights Out

I will say this several times. My light is off, you idiot! O-F-F OFF! I'm not open. In fact, I'm as closed as the womb of Artemis right now! (Points if you know WHY it's closed )

NOT OPEN!



Sorry. This shit has REALLY been bothering me lately. It's like no one pays attention to anything anymore.

[Kristev]

The womb of Artemis. That's pretty closed.

[Food Lady]

YES! The light thing! Why do we even have them?? It's almost guaranteed if my light's off 8 people will line up, but if it's on, I'm standing behind my counter, and I just helped a customer someone will walk up asking, "Are you open?"

[fireheart]

I can add a couple more to these:

4. when I ask for the loyalty card, either say "yes" or "no." I do not need an explanation as to why-especially since we have now stopped asking people if they're interested.

5. If I have to get a price check or an override, please be patient.

[batmoody]

Yes! I hate it when people throw their reusable bags on the belt at the end of their groceries, after I have bagged everything... They think they are SO smart reusing the bags/saving the environment. Really, you look like an idiot.

I hate when I ask if they have a club card and they proceed to blurt out a telephone number. Ok then, I guess thats a no, you don't have the card. What you have is the phone number, hold on while I get to that prompt and now you get to give me the number again. Of course, they are pissed that they have to repeat the number but wth? A simple yes or no when i asked the question could have saved us that time.

Or people who can't figure out the debit machine and have to complain about how they are all different. Yes, they are all different. You just acknowledged that you KNOW they are all different. So why aren't you paying attention to what you are doing?

Really, you look like an idiot.

[SG15Z]

- When you tell me you want paper all you have to do is tell me you want paper. That's it. I do not require an explanation to justify you getting paper. I don't need to know you your apartment is upstairs, or it's easier to carry or whatever! Geeze.

-And on that note when I ask "Is plastic ok?" do not scream at me "ZOMG NO! PLASTIC IZ TEH EVIL!!1!1!" It was just a question. I'm required to imply using plastic bags because people are more likely to not ask for paper when you don't mention it. And since plastic bags are cheeper than paper, my company wants you to use plastic. Simple economics don't take it out on me.

-Don't get mad at me for "Going too fast!". I'm sorry that going 35 Items per Minute makes you dizzy, but I'm being paid to go fast. Pay me to take my time and then we'll talk.

- If my register won't take your check because your account has a returned/third party check on file, then there's nothing I can do. I can't take the check. Period. It was already takin care of? Well obviously not, you need to contact our Check Recovery Department. Yes you need to call them not me.

[hinakiba777]

-If you have a personal shopping cart, do not expect me to psychically know what you want me to put into it. Some people want all their big items in them, some people want all their heavy stuff put it them. (I personally put all my heavy stuff in the cart, and if i have space add in the rest) If you don't tell me what you want, I'm just going to put things in your bags, or leave your stuff sitting their for you to figure out.

- DO NOT re-bag your groceries after everything is packed. I am willing to accept that you didn't want your chips in the same bag as Pepsi, and you can fix that or get me to fix that. But please don't let me fill 10 reusable bags full of groceries only to have you stand at the end of my till after you've paid, trying to put things in the "proper place". Either correct me as I'm packing, or leave it alone!

-Please don't call my manager after you leave the store to complain you feel insulted because I just informed you about our new courtesy policy. You haven't heard about it before because it is NEW.

-Don't throw things at me when I ask you a question. (For anyone who knows the crazy flower lady story, you know what I mean.)

-If you forgot your bags in your car, please don't run out to get them. Just accept the plastic. Yes it's very sad you forgot them, but I do have other customers in line.

-Don't tell me WHY you forgot your bags. You don't have them on you, that's all that matters. You can either buy new ones, or just take the plastic. It serves me no good to know that your cat Tibby was sleeping on the pile of them and you couldn't shake him loose.

I have a feeling I am going to add more to your list.

[Whiskey]

Points if you have more than one bag, and/or 24 packs of soda.

I always just put the barcode upwards and leave it in my cart or I load it back in myself. But I do that whole "consideration" and "thinking ahead" thing. I'm a freak, i know, don't mock me


Your format is better than mine.

Oh god, totally off topic, but this happened in the check out. The register lady ringing up my Giant Bottle of Feel Better prompted me to donate a dollar to "people with disabilities". I was going to say no, but I was like "eh, i work seventy hours. I might be one of those people with disabilities one day" so, boom, good Samaritan-age and I donated a dollar. She picked up her phone (intercom) and announced to THE ENTIRE STORE "Thank you at check lane six for donating to a great cause"

I almost died. I'm going to tell everyone I donate anonymously before giving them money because eeeeeeekkk.