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Three reasons why you were a sucky customer. (Long)

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  • Three reasons why you were a sucky customer. (Long)

    My threads are always long. But I love you all anyway. I am sorry. I have taken the liberty of providing a brief summary at the end of the thread in a quote box.

    Okay, hon. See, here's the thing. I like you. You're a great person. You told me what your profession is, and it's definitely one that I respect, and it helps the nation. Thank you. But I just can't bring myself to put this in "Oops" or whatever. You hit the "three strikes you're out" rule. For that, I deeply apologize. But it is what it is.
      • You are no longer allowed to use the word "thing" or "stuff" or the string of words "you know," or "you know what I mean" ever again. When you say these words, a mental image of what you imagine appears in your head. You can see it just fine. It does not, however, transfer to the minds of the people you are communicating to no matter how hard you flail your hands in a gestural pattern, unless you are attempting to craft a thaumaturgical spell where massive quantities of hand-flailings are involved. If that is the case, please ask me how I can help. I do have the reagents for most spells spirited away within the pockets of my vest.

      • Assumptions will trap you. They will drop you into a place that you do not want to be. You know what they say about assuming. It makes an ass out of u and some guy named ming. So, when you give me an object that you want to reattach to some other object, do not assume that you can attach a "thing" to it to make it "stick" to the "thing" on the "other side." That particular "thing" (A nut, I much, much later found out) is not meant for that kind of screw. It is meant for machine screws, not wood screws. OH. While we're here: When I show you what my impression of your arm flailings and mental transference of words unspoken is, say something other than "no." Okay, one down. 8,519 possible items left. Want some coffee? No? Tea? No? Okay then, nothing it is. No?! Go eat your face.

      • When you become too vague and general in your various arm-flailings and your urgent desire that I solve everything via a magical piece of metal that you insist will work despite all known laws of physics, and then become flustered when I do not read your arm flailings and mental telepathies, and ask me to get someone else who will be a viable target for your fizzled spellforms and mysterious witchcraftisms, don't be at all surprised when I create a third bullet on this very list that you now read and create such a lengthy sentence with far too little punctuation to give you the briefest pause that you need to refresh your mind and allow you to take a breath so as to spare your mortal mind. There. That's the first period of this paragraph. Be grateful. I even colored it in red for you to notice and enjoy. ... ... [!] Whoah. Snapping back to attention now. You have just been privy to my level which I cared about her and her vague little problems when I heard "Can you get me someone else who might know what I mean?!" Because all she needed was a way to attach a tiny wooden knob to a drawer. I had been saying that for ever so long before she asked for a second opinion.







      And now I have the dumb. Elderly Geese have no qualms about landing on my head and dying. People get out of the car in the parking lot to throw their car seats at me and walk home. The New York Metro created a plan to build a unique subway line to visit me in my home while I sleep and laugh at my dreams. All of this makes about as much sense as you do when you try to communicate. I cannot guess what you mean by "thing." I am trying my hardest, but there is nothing in my visual lexicon that translates to that particular hand motion you are making. Either you are insulting my mother or you are teaching me how to screw a flapjack into a light bulb socket. Please do neither. At least not in my company.





    So kids, whenever you want to express something, please don't be vague. State your requirements, the original conditions, and the desired end result, and the levels to which you are willing to dive into the rampantly evolving world of modern technology. Even medieval technology will do in a pinch! You just need to open your mind and accept that such a possibility is viable, rather than outlandish and impossibly overkill. I mean, honestly, since when are results overkill? Please eat your face.



    Summary:
    • Don't be so vague that nobody can help you. Don't think people are too dumb to know what you mean despite that you're not using terms people understand that you think they do.
    • Don't assume that just because you can imagine it that it will work. Nuts and screws don't work that way. You're using the wrong hardware, and thinking it will magically work.
    • Instead of trying to harder to express yourself, don't burden your vagueness upon some other poor innocent soul. Try harder to make your needs and contexts and intentions (AND GOALS!) known.
    Last edited by ShadowTiger; 04-19-2010, 02:34 AM.
    SC: "Are you new or something?"
    Me: "Yes. Your planet is very backwards I hope you realize."

  • #2
    Shadow Tiger please accept from me this one [1] slightly used internet cookie. You have created amusement for me again.

    Comment


    • #3
      Never apologize for long. We adore long.

      Although we do appreciate warnings for long in titles for when we don't have time to adequately enjoy long-ness.

      I've had these people on the phone before. They know what they want, but have no idea what it's called or how to possibly describe it. I also have a disturbingly accurate ability to use leading questions to find my way to where they've gotten themselves to discover for myself what it is they really want. This, of course, has led to my co-irkers giving me all of the really annoying people who call because I can get them what they want and out of our collective hair faster than just about anyone else in the building. >.<

      Um... I will do freelance work for a modest sum... But you'd have to provide all travel, room, and board for anything outside of my immediate area.

      ^-.-^
      Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

      Comment


      • #4
        Um... I will do freelance work for a modest sum... But you'd have to provide all travel, room, and board for anything outside of my immediate area.
        Am surprisingly willing to accommodate. I'm the person with all the unique and creative solutions to peoples' problems, (Like using wooden dowels and hanger rods or dental floss or picture hanging wire or a badger) but get me to try to fill in the blanks from someone's head, and I can't even get past the hand motions. I have too much faith in peoples' movements and attempts. Today, I had a woman try to describe what ultimately ended up as a Gate Latch by making tremendous sweeping motions with her arms then tucking them under the original loop, in a gesture which originally made me think of for whatever reason a ... oh I don't even know. A Klein bottle maybe. My mind had already been more than boggled at that point.
        SC: "Are you new or something?"
        Me: "Yes. Your planet is very backwards I hope you realize."

        Comment


        • #5
          Nerd Alert!

          Quoth ShadowTiger View Post
          It does not, however, transfer to the minds of the people you are communicating to no matter how hard you flail your hands in a gestural pattern, unless you are attempting to craft a thaumaturgical spell where massive quantities of hand-flailings are involved.
          Ooooohhh. Somatic components. Y'know, with your next feat you might want to invest in "Still Spell."
          Enjoy my latest stupid quest for immortality. http://1001plus.blogspot.com/

          Comment


          • #6
            Since I enjoy playing armored mages second only to playing druids, that's one I take all the time.

            Actually, I like playing druid/wizards. It's slow, but eventually, you can do anything.
            Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth ShadowTiger View Post
              Elderly Geese have no qualms about landing on my head and dying.
              Wait, what?
              By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.

              "What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant Friend

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Seraph View Post
                Wait, what?
                ShadowTiger was giving examples of the ridiculous for comparison with whatever message he was getting from the flaily arm-waver.

                ^-.-^
                Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Andara Bledin View Post
                  ShadowTiger was giving examples of the ridiculous for comparison with whatever message he was getting from the flaily arm-waver.

                  ^-.-^
                  Ohhh. I thought it was something similar to what happened to one of my friends. A seagull somehow died and just about hit them when it fell from the sky. O_o
                  By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.

                  "What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant Friend

                  Comment

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