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All Your Base, STDs and Lust

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  • All Your Base, STDs and Lust

    I just dug out a couple old old stories out of my office notes from my previous job. The one before we got bought out and merged with the company I currently work at. This ones are extra special awful:


    Make Your Time

    At my old office we did a lot of pager transcriptions. Basically we were the ones that typed out what you said on a pager line and sent it to the pager. It was standard practice that when we couldn't figure out what someone was saying we'd put in as much as we could then send it to another operator to see if they could fill in anymore. Basically it was passed around the office as a kind of audio puzzle.

    Back then one of the guys I worked with got a message he couldn't figure out a word of. It was in Engrish and with a heavy accent on it. This was around 4 years ago when that All Your Base thing was making the rounds on the Internet. So he typed in "All your base are belong to us!" into the message as a joke to match the Engrish the guy was speaking in. Then he sent the call to me.

    I listened to it, could barely get any of it, had a chuckle at the All Your Base part and changed All your base to next line "You have no chance to survive!" and parked to my friend beside me. She likewise got in on the joke and added "Make your time!" and parked it....right to a new operator.

    New Girl(tm) was not Internet Sauvy and was lazy on top of that so she didn't even bother to try and listen to the audio and transcribe it. She just played it, slapped an "(Message Unclear) on it and paged it.......complete with our in joke right in the middle of it.

    So some guy in Vancouver that night got a page saying "YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE, MAKE YOUR TIME". We never got a complaint about it though.... ^^



    STDs

    I got this one working graveyard by myself one night. Some girl's friends were prank calling a friend of there's on her pager. One of them left a message saying that they were her doctor and they needed to call her right away because he just got her genital herpes test results in.

    I was kinda ?? at it but forgot about it. Then a few minutes another page came in: This one was from the owner of the pager. She had left a message on her own pager to tell ME ("Just so you operators know") that it was a prank call and "I don't really have herpes my friends are just messing with my pager!"


    Misguided Lust

    It took me MONTHS to live this down. Basically, I was on a call with this guy helping him out with some minor tech support stuff. I was still new and had faith back then so I was extra nice and polite. Right at the end of the call he said "You've been a great help. Thanks, Big Boy". He said the "Big Boy" part in such a low, seductive growl kind of voice that I was pretty much 0_o.

    I made the mistake of telling a co-worker.

    For around the next 6 months all the girls in the office called me "Big Boy". Even outside of the office one of them spotted me on the corner waiting for the light downtown.....then snuck up behind me and whispered "Hey, big boy" right in my ear. I jumped in utter terror that he'd tracked me down.

    One of them still teases me about it and calls me that every now and then......4 years later. ><



    Slip of the Tongue

    One night one of the ops, much to the amusement of everyone within earshot, referred to "Hornby Street" as "Horny Street" to a caller. She didn't even realise she'd done so till we pointed it out after the fact too.

    Red-Handed

    We had one pager account that was *always* getting lovey-dovey messages from women. Problem was it was getting them from THREE different women. This went on for a couple of months till one night....they all found out about each other. For the rest of the evening they left messages like every 5 minutes vividly ridiculing the guy's, erm, package size and "performance" issues.

    The pager was cancelled 3 days later.





    I'm going to keep digging see if I can find any other good ones, hehe.
    Last edited by Gravekeeper; 12-22-2006, 02:51 PM.

  • #2
    Main screen turn on.
    "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

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    • #3
      Good ones!

      When I got a positive pregnancy test for baby #2 (I have since added 2 more...LOL) I paged my DH with this message, "Congratulations Daddy! Our family will soon be four"! I could tell the operater was smiling as the message was read back to me.

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