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The lights are on in Amsterdam...

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  • The lights are on in Amsterdam...

    Tall man and an either short woman or preteen girl, I wasn't paying attention, appeared in line.

    Man: How much is this item?
    Me: (ignores him since I'm still on tail end of previous order)
    Man: (mumbles)
    Me: (Did he just make a joke at my expense?)
    Me: (finishes order, looks in man's direction) Hello, how's it goin', sir?
    Man: (says nothing, just stares blankly)
    Me: Do you have a savings card?
    Man: Yes. Yes.
    Me: (waits patiently)
    Man: (stares at the girl, who gets out a card and hands it over)
    Me: Thank you. (rings up the three items on the belt) That'll be $3.29.
    Man: How much is this item?
    Me: (imagining he pointed at the last item) It was a dollar.
    Girl: (giggles)
    Man: I am from Amsterdam.
    Me: I'm sure you are.
    Man: And, and I must buy everything for my girl, she's simply insatiable!
    Me: Um...
    Man: She MUST have everything! And I must buy it all for her!
    Me: OK, sounds good. That'll be $3.29.
    Girl: (giggles)
    Man: So, how much is the total?
    Me: $3.29.
    Man: (stares blankly)

    Note, when we get a "problem" customer, who insists on going about the routine in a non-routine manner, who will mess up and then ask for help, it always seems better to let them make their mistakes. The only drawback is that it takes more time, and customers in line behind them can come down with hurryupitis.

    So, let him stare blankly. The way he mentioned Amsterdam, I could only assume he was referring to having partaken of some of its liberties not permitted in the US, such as saying things like "I am from Amsterdam".

    Me: (wait for it...)
    Man: So, how much is the total?
    Me: Three Dollars and twenty-five Cents. (Yes, I pronounced the hyphen.)
    Man: Ah! (gets out his wallet and digs around in there as if a booger were about to emanate from it)
    Me: (At least it wasn't one of those manpurses; some of the local immigrants swear by them, or more correctly, at them.)
    Man: (produces a 10 Euro note, torn neatly down the middle) There you go. That wasn't so much after all.
    Me: Hmmm... I don't think we take Euros. We can take Dollars, or perhaps a debit or credit card?
    Man: (digging around in the wallet) So, how much is the total?
    Me: Credit card.
    Man: Ah! Credit card!

    At this point, I wanted to start saying things like "My hovercraft is full of eels". The problem here was, he definitely was very fluent in English, but he seemed to be playing dumb to get sympathy from his possibly underage American girlfriend. And the three items he was buying for her so magnanimously were cheap food items. Oh, and the problem about his not having Dollars.

    More interestingly, I fully expected his credit card to be one of those European ones with the extra digits that never, ever works on our system (all the local immigrants have one), but it took perfectly.

    I think the man was right though. A spaced-out attitude can sometimes help one cope with the rigors of banality. Maybe I should greet everyone with "Hello, I am from USA. I pay for things with money. Sometimes I eat food every day. Can I buy you food? I hear you are insatiable."
    Why do they make Superglue but not Batglue?

  • #2
    Quoth Zoom View Post
    I think the man was right though. A spaced-out attitude can sometimes help one cope with the rigors of banality. Maybe I should greet everyone with "Hello, I am from USA. I pay for things with money. Sometimes I eat food every day. Can I buy you food? I hear you are insatiable."
    I AM insatiable! Will you buy me food from USA?
    Don't just do something...sit there!

    Comment


    • #3
      I have an insatiable husband that requires regular doses of Dr. Pepper, does that count?
      Don't tempt pixies, it never ends well.

      Avatar created by the lovely Eisa.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Zoom View Post
        Man: (produces a 10 Euro note, torn neatly down the middle) There you go. That wasn't so much after all.
        Wait, what? He tried to give you half a note? Surely that wouldn't have worked even in Amsterdam.

        The question is, was he:

        1. Stoned
        2. Stupid
        3. A scammer
        4. All of the above

        I vote for 4.
        Women can do anything men can.
        But we don't because lots of it's disgusting.
        Maxine

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        • #5
          I bet the girl is going to turn him in to the poice after he buys her everything she wants. Then he'll learn some of the better differences between American and Amsterdam law.
          Sucky Customers- Have the ability to convert non-drinkers into raging alcoholics in one phone call or less.

          Comment


          • #6
            I'm not that she's all there, either. She's really aiming low if she's insatiable for $3.29s worth of stuff!
            Dull women have immaculate homes.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Sparky View Post
              Wait, what? He tried to give you half a note?
              Yup. It was partially attached to the other half, though, despite the best intentions of the rip in the paper.
              Why do they make Superglue but not Batglue?

              Comment


              • #8
                He was clearly still feeling the effects of eating too much cake in the Amsterdam coffee shops.

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